A Love Lost
Rahul Khanna - August 29, 2005
I lost someone very dear to me last week.
My hard drive.
She took her own life.
We were on a trip together. I was filming a commercial in Bangalore, the IT capital of India and maybe she thought it was an appropriate place to end it all.
But I still don’t know why. I’ve always treated her right. Given her the latest anti-virus software. Designer screensavers. Taken her around the world with me and always shucked out the extra bucks for costly wireless access in hotels and overpriced adaptor plugs from gift shops. And I was monogamous to a fault. I never had another hard-drive on the side. And I trusted her so implicitly I never even backed up. I pampered her with regular defragmentation treatments. And I was always attentive to her needs. I tried my best to make sure she was never left turned on -- although often, after I was done, I’d want nothing more than to just roll over and go to sleep. But I’d lovingly wait till all her processes were finished before gently shutting her down for the night.
And then she goes and does this? We were together barely over a year. Did she feel I was neglecting her lately? Was she jealous of my iPod? Did she overhear me say I was thinking of getting a BlackBerry? Maybe she felt ignored because I went off for a long night of filming leaving her turned on, unplugged and with iTunes running…? Maybe she perceived this as the start of a trend. But it was just a one-time oversight. I was busy. Tired. Working, so I could buy her more new software, a better firewall, more RAM to ease the pressure on her DIMMS. Didn’t she know that?
I called the hotel tech department at 4 a.m. in a panic. They sent an emergency team to try and resuscitate her. They tried everything. But they couldn’t save her. And what made it even more heart-wrenching was that with her, went what was inside her.
She was carrying my life. And she took it with her. Those solemn words from the IT paramedics will haunt me for years to come. “We’re so sorry, sir. We couldn’t save your data, either”.
I can understand her wanting to take her own life but why did she take my data from me? My innocent, unsuspecting data. “These things happen, sir”, was all the techies could say.
On the plane back, I remembered how carefree and happy our flight over had been as I played FreeCell with her. How she loved flying first class. She loved the high quality in-seat laptop power adaptors that ensured her battery wouldn’t run out and leave her jetlagged. And I could swear she was developing a taste for the champagne that would fizz from my glass onto her screen. She didn’t even mind the stewardess plucking her off the empty seat next to me during take off and landing because she loved the spacious overhead bins.
And now she was just a corpse in her Samsonite coffin. And I, a man with an empty heart and an emptier C: drive. The stewardess, perhaps sensing my grief, silently allowed her a final landing on the seat next to me.
There will be other hard drives, of course. And I will produce more data. But I will always wonder about the one that chose to end it all.
Why?
Why??
WHY??!
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Posted by Rahul Khanna at August 29, 2005 11:03 AM
Comments
Rahul,
funny... your story reminds how close and intimate we become with our computers, cellphones, blackberries more than a real human connection...
Venky
You should have never pampered her in the first place, don't you know they like bad boys, should have treated her harshly, like you don't care. All your fault. Now don't weep over her and move on.
Having heard about this tragedy earlier, my heart went out to you Rahul- and today, as I hold your hand across cyber space and mourn with you, it has made me a more caring person. I am falling in love all over again..I'm holding on to him with even more tenacity-I have even gone ahead and cloned him, on several other cds- and now there is more of him to cherish.
Its all because of you that I have renewed my vows to cherish and to love and double the committment I have..with my hard drive.
My heartfelt condolences
Rahul . . .you are a precious gem . . . thank you for the giggles, smirks and laughs . . .don't give up hope . . .wishing you an abundance of good karma as you search the universe for that one true hard drive that will never fail! Keep Smiling Rahul . . . my heartfelt condolences and sincere gratitude for the giggles!! Laila
Rahul,
You gotta have one on the side, man...even if she's cheap and used. It's the only way to prevent heartbreak.
Now I know why Kavita thinks the world of you. This was hilarious..uh..heartrending!
Being a software engineer, and being quite the philanderer when it comes to hard drives, even I'm overcome with emotion at your loss.
Ah love knows not its depth until the hour of parting!
And in this case "better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" doesn't work, does it?
My personal knowledge tells me hard drives these days are pretty fickle..so don't trust the next one so implicitly!
hahahahaha.... I actually had to reread the first couple of lines. hilarious!
You are so very funny! I do feel sorry for your loss but your writing makes me laugh. Thank you, I needed it today!
Hi Rahul,I am so sorry for you.You are beyond hilarious.You made me grin.Thanks.God bless.
LOL
Sandeep -- I love the idea of a cheap one on the side.
Madhav -- any recommendations? In your professional opinion, what's the best way to back up?
Hi Rahul,
Pretty touching and I can empathise with you. But still life goes on. If you use gmail, you can create various gmail accounts and use them as online storage using some plugins to backup your content from time to time directly from your desktop. Check out the following links:
http://www.viksoe.dk/code/gmail.htm
http://ilia.ws/archives/15_Gmail_as_an_online_backup_system.html
Good luck with your future lovers.
Ramdhan's info is correct, plus you need to keep on burning cds..no short cut to that.
Most hard drives crash because of mishandling of the computer when you travel. So be careful in how you pack your lap top.
Rahul, even as I sit here at my computer doing nothing more than reading blog after blog because I have a cold and am running a mild fever because of the recent weather change here in the high desert of New Mexico--high 90's during the day, high 40's during the night--I AM LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT YOUR POST! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks.:)
Somebody needs to return that BOOKER PRIZE so we can give it out where it is deserved.
Rahul - shockingly witty - that's a compliment!
Some Advice - Mac Powerbook - 17 inches of rock hard (drive), smooth surface and deep storage. Purrs to the touch and quite enjoys it when you plug her into a bigger (desktop) partner.
Trust me - it doesn't have to just be a fantasy.
Gotham
Awwww...
At least you loved her and wailed when you lost her. I thought it was unconditional love from "Him"- but he ditched me one fine day and vanished into oblivion with all the beautiful memories buried in his heart.
Chams
Hello Rahaul and Everyone,
Gee..........I was debating whether or not to read your post.....I was not sure I was in the mood to read something sad.....HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.
hehehe, aww! my condolences. this is why I back up with a seagate external drive (supposedly the best in drives, which is why I bought it) using syncback software. /nerd talk. I honestly don't have anything *that* important on my computer, but you know.
best of luck with the next one! hopefully you'll have a long and prosperous relationship together. :)
Last Friday I was on the fone with Earthlink as I was buying some server space, when I accidently mentioned that I was on my Blackberry (it was no accident. I was showing off! I love telling people I have a Blackberry. Even the President's staff on The West Wing have Blackberries.)
The Earthlink customer rep, ED, asked if I was interested in the new TREO. I said no, even though I was at a meeting the previous afternoon where I showed off my BBerry and the person I was meeting with, should me his TREO.
I must say, I was intrigued. It was sleek and long and could fit comfortably in the palm of my hand. I also saw video of his daughters frolicking on the waters of Miami Beach. Man, for a second there ---
Anyway back to Earthlink Ed. We talked for about another 30 minutes and then he brought the TREO up again. Oh, my God. Should I? I work with actors. Like the American Minutemen, I could have their video demos ready at a moments notice.
Yes, I can honestly say that I almost took the bite but at the last minute -- I couldn't.
Today my BBerry died while I was on the fone with Earthlink. It's back nestled on the palm of my hand, but I had to promise that I would never, ever look at another Treo again.
So I say to the world -- I LOVE YOU BLACKBERRY!
Mr. Khanna, are you sure you didn't look at another hard drive?
Hi Rahul,
Boy that is tough....I discovered a wonderful thing this past June as a floppy went bad with all my school stuff on it...This new inventions is
a "Thumbnail Drive" about $50-$60 that plugs into a computer, it is very small but holds mega information. You save as an "External drive". It comes with a string you can even wear around your neck. THey are very cool and you will be a hit! and have a backup at the same time! Hope you recover soon!
Joanie
Dude,
I love your writing style. And I can also understand your pain. Any thing a guy loves and appreciates, he tends to take for granted... computers and girl friends included... and the way you write this treating your hard drive as intimately as a girl friend is both understandable and ironical... I like the tone... Keep writing...
A.
So very funny Rahul! And so very sad. My computer once left me unexpectedly for an entire week. I thought THAT was awful!
DUDE! That is so not funny. I freaked when I read "took her own life" thinking of a human and when I realised you were talking about a computer part...oh sheesh so shallow.
It's ok. Suicide is one subject I am passionate about that's all. I volunteered to help in our local crisis center and did quite well with helping people sort out their problems by talking to them. Hopefully saved a few lives and was too good at problem solving...
so that's why that didn't work out...
you are a funny bunny, rahul.
the article is well written.
the title attracts you
but
i have read this a million times before
and how does it work with:
'intent is the emerging asian consciousness
giving birth to a global mind shift'
it would have made more sense on your personal blog as a rant.
;-D
why dont we see this funny, humorous side of urs on the big screen?
you're a funny boy.
but im sorry.
First thing about hard drives is to BACK UP BACK UP AND BACK UP..
My condolences.. but I am sure you will be able to go on ;P
I can understand your pain,unfortunately technology is greek to me.My computer is playing truant,in one go it opens upto 60 explorer pages.Each day i struggle to download some free stuff from microsoft to help my windows.I called my computer a Dibba for very long but now it is becoming one!!!I fear one day i might have to put a crochet tablecover and turn it into a flower stand.
Life was so much better in India where kabadhi wala used to come and take away everything.There my Dibba would atleast get a decent last ride.Here it will sit near the trash in the driveway...unloved uncared for.The day would be spend hoping...that garbage removal has taken that good for nothing Dibba away.
I can understand your pain,unfortunately technology is greek to me.My computer is playing truant,in one go it opens upto 60 explorer pages.Each day i struggle to download some free stuff from microsoft to help my windows.I called my computer a Dibba for very long but now it is becoming one!!!I fear one day i might have to put a crochet tablecover and turn it into a flower stand.
Life was so much better in India where kabadhi wala used to come and take away everything.There my Dibba would atleast get a decent last ride.Here it will sit near the trash in the driveway...unloved uncared for.The day would be spend hoping...that garbage removal has taken that good for nothing Dibba away.
My deepest condolences regarding your loss. I guess thats why they always say back-up..which i should so desperately do...i don't know what i would do if my hard drive checked out on me..but lets not speak of such bad things.
All that aside...it was just the most delightful blog. I think the two of you (you and blogging) were made for each other :)
I know what you feel like, dude! My beloved left for the humble abode last month. My heartfelt condolences to you and her family.
Rahul,
very sorry to hear about your loss. Lolz. May her soul rest in peace.
God, you are hilarious. Hehehe.
u really write well....have a look at my blog too:
http://pyramidcorpses.blogspot.com
and keep writing such refreshing pieces!
Hi Rahul,
You mean your laptop and not your hard drive... :) the post and the way you put it is quite hilarious :D.. keep writing...
Hi Rahul, This is Anand. I'm a film maker from Los Angeles. I was trying different options to reach you for the lead part of an interesting Indo-American English feature. Then i remembered about your blog and thought of writing to you. This is for real and below link is an article about me. Let me know how to contact you to discuss further. Internet is simply amazing.
http://in.movies.yahoo.com/041202/125/2i92h.html
-Anand
Absolutely hilarious! would love to see this funny side of you on screen sometime. so, have u snapped out of it? hope you have and i must say that your faithfulness is commendable :-)
Dearest Rahul,
I was truely touched by your feelings expressed in your blog. I didn't know you still loved
me so much. your words brought back sweet memories of our togetherness. surely, you were the
best man in my life...the only man to whom i pledged my loyalty. your sweet concern for my
safety was well depicted by your attempt to keep me upgraded with the latest anti-virus
software. And how fondly i looked forward to you pampering me with the defragmentation
treatments! Oh, Rahul, i miss you so much! But i guess, our match wasn't meant to be...No!
it wasn't the iPod...i knew it could never take my place in your life. Alas, it was destiny
that did us apart.
But having your feelings revealed before me, i sincerely lament our not being together
anymore. But you know, Rahul, they say, that distance makes the heart grow fonder. And so,
even though we are no longer together in this world, i pledge my loyalty to you yet again. I
will always be by your side in true cyber spirit. I pray to God that you find another hard
drive, perhaps better than myself. But as a friendly advice i'd request you to take adequate
backup this time! And just to make you more at ease, the spirit of your innocent data
continues to live safely within me, in this other world.
As for me, having read the various comments written to you, i was glad and assured that you
have many friends to support you and see you through this difficult time...and that you are
not alone.
Wishing you the best in life, and missing you dearly.
Your beloved,
Hard Drive
Dear Rahul,
That is really cute. I work in a computer lab where students are always saving their 30 page thesis papers incorrectly, thus losing it all (and all includes their minds after we tell them there is nothing we can do to recover their file). Please allow me to share this with my co-workers. :)
rahul,i read your piece only on tuesday the 12th sept which was published in indian express on10th sept 05.What a whacky piece. I didn't know you r such a hilarious person and that too to a point of no belief. My heart goes out for the loss you suffered. My heartfelt condolences.
Really nice! A piece of black comedy!
For me, it's better to experience love & the pain that comes along rather than experience nothing at all. As the saying goes, "It's better to have love and lost than to have never love at all". Love is the greatest thing that can happen to anyone. The excitement and the thrill that it gives you will always be inculcated in your mind & spirit.
Being in love is the most happiest experience you will have in your life. But as we all know, nothing is permanent in this world. One way or another, you will lose the one you love due to death. but it's good to know that you've love even though you lose one of the most especial person in your life.
Yes, I agree. It's better to love someone and lost than to never experience love at all. At least you've shared all the love and happiness with each other.
http://www.cupidsreviews.com/dating-blog/personals/2005/08/index.html
Ugh! Although I like your acting, this piece is an extremely tasteless attempt at humor.
What a big deal? A crashed hard disk means a lot when it holds important data while missing can arise losses upto a million dollars.
A Hard Drive holding Few Mp3 songs, some movies, and few junk files even crashed dosen't matter,
I hope the Hard Drive saved you if you have pirated music and movies on it.
Regards
JasoosChand
I'd keep my OS on C: and my data on D:. That way atleast you can save your data if the OS, usually windows, crashes. Usually, there's nothing that you can do about hardware failures but software ones, you can. I say this since I gather that you have only one partition in your system.
I take it you didn't read the book: Men are from from Mars; Hard drives are from Hell.
My condolences.
Dude you didnt louve her enough...You should have told her - drive slowly.....drive slowly......
I have not finished reading this...only read the first couple of lines...I have to say...I LOVE your style of writing...you're very funny!!! I promise to finish it between today and tomorrow (not that you would know...your out enjoying the season)...I want to say also I saw Earth a few weeks back and then rented Bollywood/Hollywood from the library yesterday...I really enjoyed both, most especially Earth. It is sad the amount of violence in the world and so often it is within one's very own ehtnic and cultural boundaries...Looking forward to the day when all that will be done away with...
I have not finished reading this...only read the first couple of lines...I have to say...I LOVE your style of writing...you're very funny!!! I promise to finish it between today and tomorrow (not that you would know...your out enjoying the season)...I want to say also I saw Earth a few weeks back and then rented Bollywood/Hollywood from the library yesterday...I really enjoyed both, most especially Earth. It is sad the amount of violence in the world and so often it is within one's very own ehtnic and cultural boundaries...Looking forward to the day when all that will be done away with...
That was very humorous. Well done.
This is pretty interesting blog site too.
That was very humorous. Well done.
This is pretty interesting blog site too.
lol..lol..lol...
r u doin a column sumwhere??..no??..do dat,u'll earn lyk millionz!!
53. Posted by
baani
![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.intentblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
on
November 11, 2007 09:13 AM
lol..lol..lol...
r u doin a column sumwhere??..no??..do dat,u'll earn lyk millionz!!
54. Posted by
baani
on
November 11, 2007 09:13 AM
lol..lol..lol...
r u doin a column sumwhere??..no??..do dat,u'll earn lyk millionz!!
lol..lol..lol...
r u doin a column sumwhere??..no??..do dat,u'll earn lyk millionz!!
Your HOT! to hot. I make it a point to stay clear of guys like you, BUT your writing is quite funny! My attention span is small, but you got it this morning!
Are you the same nasty, rude Rahul, I was chattin with a few weeks ago? hope not..
Anyway all the best to you and your flip flops.
Love
57. Posted by
Tammy
on
November 12, 2007 06:47 AM
Its so beautifully written...
LOved going through this post
Have you ever thought of getting into direction Rahul
Regards
Rree
60. Posted by
Rree
on
February 10, 2008 09:33 AM
Aree yaar Rahul tu lullu ka lallu reh gaya. yeh Harddisk Jaat hi kuch aisi hoti hai. kitta bhi pyar koro dhoka de jati hai.
My friend, next time remember two words. "Flash Drive"
I am sure you will get your new HD and play romance all over again, but always keep a flash drive handy. these are cheap and easy to handle. You even can go oral with them and they can also handle some rough treatment. And unlike HD who are always covered up, they are always ready for a flash to a friend if you choose to.
IF thats not feasible then another solution is "cloud computing". These guys charge a small monthly fee and you can visit as many times as necessary. Your data is safe on the internet. no hassle of costly pampering with virus software and tuning and worrying about backups. someone else will take care of it and make sure she is always ready for your use 24X7 any place any time. But of course now you will be sharing with others. Protection is a must other wise you are in for a big trouble. No emotional attachment. bang bang offload your data and you are done.
Take care
SANDEEP
61. Posted by
sandeep
on
April 15, 2008 02:16 AM
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Recent Comments
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sandeep commented on A Love Lost
Aree yaar Rahul tu lullu ka lallu reh gaya. yeh
-
Rree commented on A Love Lost
Its so beautifully written...
LOved going -
soni commented on A Love Lost
hi!
SHE MUST HAVE ONE YEAR STAND.
b -
soni commented on A Love Lost
hi!
SHE MUST HAVE ONE NIGHT STAND. -
Tammy commented on A Love Lost
Your HOT! to hot. I make it a point to stay cle
Rahul,
As always you are hysterical.
But I am crying with you, buddy, on this one. It is an irreplaceable loss.
My sympathies.
Love Mallika