Dear Mallika...I understand your sentiments and concerns totally. You see, I walk both sides of this fence. I also dropped off my 5 year old son to begin his grade 1 class this week. I was quite nervous about his safety and comfort level...and 4 days later...I still am, even though I know his teacher and most of the kids in his class. So, I hear you!
Then, I head off to start work in Kindergarten class (Educational Assistant) where I face many parents dropping off their kids for the first time...witnessing the other side of the coin. Of course, this gives me a deeper insight and opportunity to be extra caring and nurturing of the situation. If a teacher/assistant are not reassuring to both parents and children during this transition then they probably should be working elsewhere. Education does not only begin when the bell rings...every teacher must recognize the importance on this special journey, as it is ongoing beyond just books and toys, it truly is ingrained in the example we set.
I send you and Tara my love and prayers for a First beautiful and calming experience when that Special growing time arrives.

God Bless,
Angela

...you have probably thought of this already, but just in case, maybe let her take something in her pocket or bag that is personal/special to both of you for reassurance when needed.
Angela

Mallika

I would like you to know , that when I feel restless and caught by some frantic old fear or insecurity I look for your entries ...

they ground me and remind me of home ...

thank you ...

oh yes trust ... in a world that so easily goes cold ...

and yet when I allow myself to witness I just know ...

we are cradlled ...

in love

that plays like a symphony ...

which I was so reminded this week in a very profound way ...

by a young jeswish man who came to see me after resigning from a "top" job in a faculty where he found himself selling his soul for survival ...

no more he told me .. even if I become a waiter I will not sell my worth any more ...

he took me back to the moment I met him .. about 8 years ago when he was still a teenager...

I had been bleeding profusely ... in danger for my life ...and yet I had agreed to run a workshop on healing ...

I simply had no strenght and literally had a tamtrum with God in ways I had never done before ...

I don't understand you .. I shouted ... I am finally doing the work I am so passionate about and yet here I am ... bleeding like a tap ...

you know what ??? I will run the workshop but you will run it ... as i have no strenght ... period!!!!!!!!

as people arrived I asked them to put the flowers they had brougth next to my fire place ...and to share what they saw ...

noticing how I was sruggling to find a way to stand in my power and trust...

I suddenly heard this young mans'voice telling me " but there are some flowers behind you which you have forgotten ..."

I was astonished as I had no clue ...

to realise that they were my own and they were dying ...

Time stood still for a moment as I felt the connection with my early outburst ...as if God was returning my call ...

I looked up and tears jumped out on impact ... without crying ...

hearing the words " this is why you are bleeding ... you need to learn to love you and then others in that order ..."

as I noticed the intensity of everyone looking at me I snapped back and engaged with the group sharing what had happened for me ...

my eyes caught by this young teenager who had spoken ...

" what beautiful hands he has ... I thought ... the hands of a musician... and yet he is walking in the desert ..."

to find that he always wanted to be a musician but became an accoutant to please his parents...

a very deep conflict of his soul ... which kept testing him along the way .. in ways he simply could not ignore ...as he tends to disapear in his work ... despite studying with a Rabbi ...

to be crushed under a truck last year .. making front line news ... as it took six hours to be pulled out with the jaws of life ...

where I was the one called to work with his broken bones (he was brought to me in a wheel chair ) and shattered spirit ...

he recovered well .. to fall in the same pattern ... unable to trust who he is at his core ...

this week we worked with his archtypes and it was actually rather funny ...

orphan child? no .. hero??? no ...artist ?? Not at all

I asked him to go within while I guided him though his chakras ... where he stopped in his heart area...

I feel so much grief he tells me .. tears breaking free ...

as the intensity of his desert touched my own ...

to suddenly hear the words I had completely forgotten ... "he should be an artist .. not an accountant "

to hear him saying " suddenly I am aware of the artist ... as i rememeber that as a child I always wanted to be a musician and yet I sold my guitar some time ago "

a perfect meeting of souls ... in trust that flows ...

I heard exacttly the same .. I tell him ...

doyou remember how I met you 8 years ago???

yes .. he says

i suddenly remember vividly my first impressions ... captured by your hands ...

as I told him his tears become a sob as he realized how he had buried his core call ...

lacking the trust to follow his instinct ...

he then tells me " yesterday I had a meeting with someone who was my teacher in school.. who was on the top 3 as the business man of the year ...

I had lost touch with him and suddenly he came into my life ... with a most amazing story ...

as he did a workhop with X ( a teacher of mine) and decided to resign from his job the next day ... to soon find himself with massive funding from the governement to do what he does today ...

he works for rural areas .. and asked me to consider working for him ...

which I am so excited about...and actually spoke to him about you...

i feel a most profound love for this young man and realized how in truth we are so intertwined ...

there is no separation ... no reason to doubt ...

that all is well ...

specially when we learn to trust...

and flow ...

from the inside out ...

to meet what is ...

that wants to come into our lives ...

As we are all a single consciousness, it should be natural for all of us to trust one another. But this is far from being the case.

Our lack of trust, both in oneself, and in one another, is the result of the current defective state of the conceptual infrastructure that is the interface between our self as consciousness and the world we experience.

The integrity of our conceptual infrastructure is currently very suspect. There are at least four layers where our conceptual content is defective:

Between the world and observation, between observation and its stored form, memories, between concepts and inferences (processed memories), and between senders and receivers of memories and concepts.

As all these layers are defective, and as they bring about the distortions in our sense of self, our sense of relationship with others, our sense of relationship with nature, it is little wonder that there is any trust at all.

In order for us to begin to operate trustingly according to the truth of our unity in consciousness, we will have to find ways to purge the global conceptual infrastructure of inaccuracies in all its four layers.

This is easier said than done, but it is already more than half way done, if only because we now know where the problem lies.

Dear Mallika,

Picture these scenarios...

..there are 2,3,4 year olds roaming precariously close to the suburban railway tracks in while their parents are off to work.

... there are 7 and 8 year olds who walk to the nearest suburban railway station, hang on to overcrowded trains while they make their way to their school a couple of stations away.

... my daughter who is now 10 bicycles her way across chaotic Chennai traffic to school. This is after we have spent 10 years in the highly protective environment in the US. She just prefers it to being chauffeur driven by car. Believe me, it was most agonising to let her have her way!

Would it be fair to say that the more secure our environments, the more attached and more nervous we get? In the pursuit of liberation, this would be considered retrograde.

Sorry... I forgot to mention that the first two scenarios are in Mumbai.

Mallika,

This is a huge one. It is hard.. After my husband had cancer and I had my little girl...I had a hard time letting anyone take care of her and would freak out each time he would just go to the store for fear he would not return. It really looking back was pathetic. I still worry but I have learned to let go and release. My daughter just started 2nd grade and it is still hard to let go but now my other daughter is starting preschool and it is sooo much easier to drop off the second one. You know what to expect.

Just keep loving her, trust the universe, but keep your instincts on at all times this is where you will get all the information.

Love,
Sally

Dearest Mallika, you have this gift of touching people :) I read your blog and started to cry, and then, after reading all the responses, I had to take a break and cry some more.

I'm crying because I still don't know how to not worry, because I still need my beautiful children to show me the way. If I really listen to what their small bodies and big eyes tell me, I know I have to be the soft nourishing loving hands that protect them without stifling their growth. They need to live outside of the "nest", not only because of their thirst for life but also because they have a lot to give. Look at your Tara and see the way she has so much of herself to give, that she cannot limit herself to your closest family and friends anymore.

My children have taught me this lesson, each of them in their own way, and I'd like to shortly tell you about it, maybe it can help you in some way.

My son Oscar was 4 1/2 years when he started kindergarten, this is so unusual here in Sweden, that the people working there didn't really know how to handle it. All the other children had started at the age of 1 or 2. It was terrible to leave him there, mostly because he was such a "grown up" child, spending his time reading about mythology and astrology and not really knowing how to be a child in the "accepted" way. The first thing that happened was that two of the older boys started to bully him and one day threatened him with a plastic gun. Oscar was very scared, as he thought that the gun was a real one, and got really upset. The care-takers "solved" the conflict on the surface, seeing to it that the kids said sorry and so on. But the conflict was far from solved, and Oscar came home, told us about it all, and also explained what he had decided: he said that the best way to handle an enemy is to turn him into a friend. He had decided to become the two boys' friend, and he didn't hesitate to put his intention into practice. I think it took him two weeks and they were best friends, they still are, six years later.

My daughter Ella had another way of showing me how much she has to give to the world. She was 2 1/2 when she started kindergarten, and one day when I came to fetch her, the teacher, Mirja, met me in the hall and asked to talk to me. She was very puzzled and didn't know what to make of what had happened: that morning she had fetched the flyswatter to kill some flies, just like all the generations before her had done, and like everyone else she knew. But this morning, this new two-and-a-half year old girl had jumped up, throwing herself in between the fly and the swatter, and had declared that it was barbaric to kill someone and that she refuses to let it happen. Ella was so angry and upset (she had never seen anyone kill a fly before), and her reaction truly shocked the teacher. When asked "but what are we supposed to do about all these nagging flies?", Ella answered that she will take them out one by one, and she spent the rest of the day doing just that. I don't think Mirja will ever kill a fly again without being aware of what she's doing.

What I'm trying to say here is that children may seem fragile and in need of protection, and surely they are... but they are also strong and wise, and as soon as they signal that they're ready, we should let them leave the nest and share their gifts, trusting their capacity and learning from them. I don't say it's easy, it isn't, and I know I may feel I have to protect them even when they're forty, but if I focus on who they really are, then they don’t need any protection.

I wish you and Tara the best school start next week, something tells me you’ll both be fine :) And I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your new book to reach us soon.

Hi Mallika: I know a male's perspective on such things would be ab-soul-utely inadequate toward allaying your fears....but, in the "butterfly" post I sent your most recent blog yesterday--I talked about my client/friend putting her 2 1/2-year-old on the phone with me....well, I remember telling her about some impressions I was suddenly receiving about him the future years to come--and the feeling overwhelmed me that it was soooo....good for his development that he had started "pre-school" learning and socialization skills so young--but it is no longer too young to do that!

I was thinking about my seventh year today--like the age of your agent's son--and remembering back to meeting some "older friends" (one year!) at the bus-stop the first day of second grade. I had a few pieces of candy with me and quickly offered them up to these three rambling macho males who were so rough-and-tumble compared to my level of devolpment.

But what I was really musing about was how Carl Jung taught about going back to your earliest years of childhood to "see" what you did--and what you "played at," and that those years would reveal something of your life's calling by these things.

Sooo...I was looking back to the fact that I went trick-or-treating with these guys, and they all dressed like pirates. It was my first really deep level of humiliation when I showed up in my "Casper-the-friendly-ghost" outfit--to no end of unmanly derision. Is it any wonder that I would one day work as a "spirit medium!"

Upon reading this post--I also had the most amusing image of your wonderful Maa--as she may have felt when first trotting your father and your uncle Sanjiv off to their first encounters with schooling!

You've heard me talk about a book called "The Nine Faces of Christ?" Your post caused me to review pages 19-21 of this book, as a woman we know as the "Mother Mary" anguished the morning she had to allow her five-year-old son, Jeshua, head off to the Essene Assembly and Compound for the next eight years of his studies and disciplines, in the company of his father--who would himself oneday become the "Supreme Master" of this Essene sect.

The "young one" was the first ever to qualify for this training under the age of twelve--and they had to change the rules for him to enter--because of him being able to pass their entry standards at such an early age.

Your post reminds me of this "most endearing" description of a mother's anguish at having to let her "first-born" go.

As she hugged him good-bye she said, "You are the only hope of the Jews!" To which this five-year-old responded: "I held her tightly for she seemed to need the feel of my arms and I whispered back, 'I will study hard, Mother! I will be worthy!'"

Only a mother such as yourself, and other mothers like you, could actually know the meaning of the words and emotions exchanged during such times.
It is not my sense that a father could know such intense feelings as these, well....

....except I watched "Forrest Gump" again the other night, and it did again bring tears to my eyes when "Forrest-the-father" was waiting for the bus, the first day of school, to send "little Forrest" off--and that treasure-of-a-scene where "little Forrest" gets his first look at the "bus driver!!!!"

Thanks sooo...much for sharing your precious experiences about Tara (and Leela!) as they begin to venture out into the "great unknown" of their destinies!

Sending "more butterflies" to use that recently- documented "vision that guides the Monarchs home to Mexico" at this time of year, to watch over Tara! Dave

Aurora: Just read your post too! Fabulous stories!!!

Between all of "you mothers" and your posts--well...I feel sooo...refreshed after reading all the posts that come from a "male ego's," like mine!

All this time I've been getting to know "Aurora" through "her views," but now...looking through the "eyes of Oscar and Ella," now that is really fun!

Aurora--the U.S. is in need of some more Peacemakers and "Leaders"--as is the world--would you kindly see if Oscar or Ella is interested in working for the U.S. Government???

Maybe our current California governor will be able to get our Constitution amended so that "foreign-born leaders" can ascend to the presidency of the United States!!! Dave

Wow, I can understand. The beginning of the fear of becoming jaded/discriminated/labelled or so many other fears. Trusting the universe is a good one.
I remember when I was little (about 5 years old) going to school my parents had never taught me about prejudice or racism and when I experienced it as a child I had no clue where the kids were coming from. Where else does a five year old white kid get the idea that a brown coloured kid is bad and nobody should hang out with them? Certainly someone planted the thought in that innocent mind and it is shocking. To this day I can't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing that my parents did not warn me.
Would I want to warn my kids of personalities out there so they are aware? Or do I not want to let them learn on their own?
Perhaps just information so that they are aware and not judgemental is the key depending on how diverse the community...letting them know that there are people that see differences which is illusion and in reality we are all one.

Mallika,

You have certainly touched a chord here. I pick up my 3 year old grand daughter every day. She started in July and I remember I didn't sleep all night worrying about her. That first day, when I saw her picking up her little school bag and water bottle from her desk I could have jumped for joy and from relief. Today, the 20 minute drive is the brightest spot of my day. We have a wonderful time, with twinkle twinkle little star and Baba black sheep together!! My favourite is when she does her alphabet song solo...... R,S,T, sounds like 'irish tea' and I find myself doing it all the time!!

Mallika, one step at a time, and I wish you the same joy and happiness three months down this road - if not sooner.

Mallika,
I believe trusting starts with oneself...trust yourself above and beyond everything. Trust what ever you do at the present moment and the universe response to that trust and your daughter will be fine.

In light & Love,
Sharon

Mallika,

I dropped the twins off for their first day of pre-school on Tuesday,their third birthday. They were both wide eyed and very excited to explore their new environment. They were off to play before I could get a good-bye hug and kiss. I left there with tears in my eyes, and feeling new emotions. It is a new chapter in their lives, and one that I now know that I have successfully prepared them for. I am very grateful to you for bringing up this topic. Reading thru the responses has really helped me to reach a new place as a parent.
Thank you
Love Terri Lynn

can you transform your fears of which there are many (the school, the staff, the other kids) and come from a position of trust, love and acceptance.
Other mom's may well be wondering about your daughter - how does that make you feel?
You yourself have made the same jouney as a child - trust your daughter will manage very well and prob even better without all the fear!

Hello Mallika and Everyone,

On Trust. Once upon a time, a young man awoke on a bright sunny Saturday morining, and decided to go for his late morning swim at a nearby college swimming pool which was filled with other swimmers and lifeguards. He did his swim, for about an hour, and was close to his final laps when something happened and he lost consciousness. No one noticed, until too late, that he was lying on the bottom of the pool. He drowned.

The point of the story is this....I hope I have not frightened anyone.....but this young man got up and trusted the universe that his day would go as planned, and, I am sure, drowning was not in his plan for the day.

After a tragedy, do we still Trust the Universe?

The answer is yes, because, really, I think, all we really are is Trust, wrapped in a blanket of skin. Trust.

David, you're such a sweet person, always thoughtful, always seeing the best in people. Thank you :)
I think if we could just let children be what they are, we would soon stop needing any peacemakers and leaders. Peace would be a natural state and everyone would be lead by the same inner knowingness. You seem to be a good example - at the bus stop, when you were seven, you certainly knew what to do to preserve peace :)

Time flies...i remember dropping my child at preschool and waiting for three hours in the lobby if she needs me.Fast forward 4 yers...now my kids run out of the door...with brown bag a hurried kiss and with strict instructions regarding no public display of emotion...especially no video cameras on first day of school as they are no more in kindergarten or in first grade!!!!Seeing your child grow gives you such a sense of achievement...their curiosity,their desire to learn and explore,mostly their love for you makes each day worth living for.In the movie "Out of towmners"Goldie hawn says i saw my life pass by and she remarked thinking about her kids.I felt it was the real truth.

That seperation will get you everytime at milestones we reach with our children! I remember I had separation anxiety when my child was leaving his pre-school center to start KDG. I was a mess. I had loved the school and I was not ready for him to go into the world. Even now as he walk out the door for his 10th grade year, I just get those goose bumps. They grow up so fast.

Children are quite resilient. But we must, as hard as it is sometimes, let them go like the butterflies who transform so beautiful to start their journey. This is the beginning of everthing we want to teach our children about going out into the world, little milestones for your whole family to "ooh and awe" about when she arrives home after completing her first special day.

Malika, I used to write little notes and send them in my son's lunch once or twice a week. Just a "have a super day" love mom sort of thing...

After a while I stopped. Plan a special day for yourself that day too. You need to pat yourself on the back as parents who have prepared her to be ready. I will be thinking of you all. I wish Tara the bestest day :) Love, Joanie

That seperation will get you everytime at milestones we reach with our children! I remember I had separation anxiety when my child was leaving his pre-school center to start KDG. I was a mess. I had loved the school and I was not ready for him to go into the world. Even now as he walk out the door for his 10th grade year, I just get those goose bumps. They grow up so fast.

Children are quite resilient. But we must, as hard as it is sometimes, let them go like the butterflies who transform so beautiful to start their journey. This is the beginning of everthing we want to teach our children about going out into the world, little milestones for your whole family to "ooh and awe" about when she arrives home after completing her first special day.

Mallika, I used to write little notes and send them in my son's lunch once or twice a week. Just a "have a super day" love mom sort of thing...

After a while I stopped. Plan a special day for yourself that day too. You need to pat yourself on the back as parents who have prepared her to be ready. I will be thinking of you all. I wish Tara the bestest day :) Love, Joanie

I have two boys - a 6 year old and a 6 month old. I started leaving my older one at daycare when he was about 7 months old. He would be crying every morning when I left him and I would hide outside the daycare building and look in from the window and cry. The daycare people were very nice and used to assure me that 10 minutes after I left he would be playing with toys. But that was no consolation.

So this time around with my second one I explored options for working from home and my employer agreed to it. Now I dont feel guilty about raising an infant and working at the same time.

Though I still dont understand why women have to battle with balancing work-life issues much more so than men. I dont see my husband getting emotionally stressed out about care giving issues.

Great Mallika! Thats so cool and so sensitive of the school. I like that "gentle separation process". That sounds compassionate, understanding and actually healthy!

~Joanie

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