You are truely blessed to have such a sanctuary to go home to. And i'm glad you know it :)

You deeply-rooted, have the gift of writing!! : )

A wonderful inherited gift of your mother and father, Mallika.

My son just informed me today; he plans on scheduling college "now" to Sept./06; NOT, the pre-planned date of Sept.07!! "what, a year ahead of schedule" was all I could say? Invizible dollar signs emerged with a feverish pitch of eeeeeek!!

Naturally, being the mother of all faces(mom, nurse, friend, teacher, doctor, etc.) myself; I was able to hide the shock and joy at the same time; well, at least I think I did(silly laugh)

At this point, being just moments have passed, since he directed his "hit and run" information at me, by popping IN at home; and getting permission to go out with friends for a burger and skateboarding; I am left..at the door,,,, finding myself in a giddy, but shock-filled, OH wow!! I am not ready!!

I think I'll call ...... Mom!!

Mom's are earth-angels, whom don't have wings to fly; but really "can" take care of everything, without them!! : )

Wonderful share, Mallika....I enjoy very much; reading your thoughts on family and your children.

It's very refreshing to hear good family stories, amid the debris and calamity of religion/politics, and the chaos of nature's evolution, all around us.

AS you age, like fine wine(pardon the metaphor)...never lose the little girl within Mallika; and always keep the gentle honesty and heart, you bear,,,open as you do...b/c it gives off a wonderful, warm and glowing light! : )

North

Mallika, Moms are so important in the life of their daughter. My childhood was fraught with abuse, guilt, and uncertainty. Fortunately I knew that wasn't right and when I became a Mom I decided to re-write the generational scripts and teach my children a different life than I had. I'm pleased to say that I succeeded. My daughter and I are the best of friends!

Hi Mallika,

The best part....you recognized what you needed to do. I use to fly home from college with my laundry!

101st promise could be...when all else fails....go home to mom.

Be well.
Joanie

Dear Mallika,

Thanks for sharing your "Coming Home to Mom..." story... I have not seen my mom for seven years being away from India for so long. I miss her... Whenever I talk to her on the phone she will say, all I want to do is cook for you...

Enjoy your time with your Mom

Love,
Venky

Thank God for Moms.

Please give your Mom a {{{warm hug for me}}}, tell her its from someone who lost their Mom 8 years ago and is truly grateful for what compassionate loving Moms do for their children...no matter what! She sounds just like my Mom!
Funny thing, someone who saw your picture somewhere said I look just like you. I haven't seen you as yet...perhaps one day.

Hope you and your kids feel better soon,

Cinda

Great post- I feel the same way when I go home. I had always thought that as time progressed, perhaps I would be the one taking care of her. But my mom is close to 70 and is as fit as anyone I know- still gardens, rides her bike and is quite active in daily life. So how can you repay mom and dad? I remember as a kid I would make them things- cards, clunky hand made clay sculptures or handfuls of flowers. And these gifts were treated like treasures. I'll never forget the site of my mother wearing a huge pink crochet flower for Easter I 'bought' her one year from our church bazaar- as if it was the queens jewels! So what gifts to give our parents now. I am sure your new family must be a great part of her life. I am quite homesick reading your post and realize how important it must be once you start a family, to be close to family especially. And it is interesting what being depressed did for you- as it drew a boundary and brought you closer to those you love and affirmed the deep love you share. OK,Mallika, I'm going to call my mom!

Cinda: You can go to Deepak's homepage and link into Mallika's website that features her book--there are pictures of her there.

I think it must be very fun to be Tara or Leela, to have such parents and grandparents as these.

Cinda--you would enjoy reading here website as it has some cool stuff there that any woman would like, I think. Dave

That was beautiful Mallika. Thank you for sharing. My Mom is like that too, however, she lives 3000 miles away and I can't wait to see her during the end of year holidays. My Mom is very sick and on medication so that she can function and you know what, she will still attempt to do all that for me. I love her so much. I am not sure how much time she has left. Anyway, this year, I hope to help her out.

Love, Char

I agree with Joanie...when all else fails go home to mom. I am 37 years old, married for almost a decade with two young girls. Going to my mother's house, my childhood home, only 10 minutes from my adult home, is sometimes my favourite journey. I walk through the door and the smell of fresh homemade lasagna or chocolate dipped profiteroles fills my tummy and soul. Even my daughters understand the magic of nonna (grandmother in Italian). One embrace, one gentle word, one more canoli and its all better.
Moms are Magic

Dear Mallika, so fortunate you are. Enjoy giving up and returning to "the source" :) Much love to you, your daughters and your mom!

I hope you have noticed this raging issue (http://www.desipundit.com/2005/10/08/lies-damned-lies-and-fake-blogs/) in the Indian blogosphere.

Mallika, its so beautiful, isnt it when you just dock in somewhere and take the weight off ur feet ... ur mom sounds wonderful! ur very lucky.

Hi Mallika,

Great Post!! The story is same on my side as well. I truely believe that if it weren't for our moms, our lives would be such a mess. Not only do they help us take weight off our feet, but also help us get through when the going gets tough for us emotionally. Moms really have solutions to all problems in this world (or atleast so it seems!!)

However, it makes me reflect, How easily we tend to take our moms for granted. It is said that a mother is the most important member of the family. And yet, she is the one who is taken for granted most often. Hope that after reading this atleast some people stop taking their moms for granted.

Anyways, Kudos to all moms in this world.... and their stamina!!!

ah!! that sounds so familiar!!

What a special tribute, Mallika. Some things are priceless, aren't they. We always knew your Mom was special. Your comments validated that beautifully. Thank you for sharing...
Much love,
Donna

I am actually going home to my mom's home for a long weekend next week. I only get there a few times a year, so it is special. When I sleep in the room that I grew up in, so many memories come flashing by.....

My mother, now in her mid 70's loves to just sit around the kitchen table laughing and telling stories of the past and hearing the stories of our daily lives.

I cherish this relationship more so now as an adult. I realize more and more how life is a precious gift and we must take advantage of every healthy, peaceful moment and give thanks for what we do have.

~joanie

Dear Sister Mallika,

Each time I read your post, I am reminded of how real you are, your struggles, your honesty, your himility, the stuff we can all relate to.

There is no place like home and nothing comparable to a happy home, a happy childhood home and great, loving, caring parents, who remain so long, long after we have left it to fend for ourselves on our own.

I love you Mallika.

Peace.

Typo correction:

Second line should read: your humility. Thanks.

Thanks Dave.
Another funny thing?
My husband's name is Dave!

Cinda

Bandwidth for writing blogs - $10
Contribution to Earthquake relief - $200
Fixing the termite problem - $500
Getting Mom's love - Priceless

There are many things which money can buy but nothing can buy mom's love.

You are lucky to have your mom nearby. I have to use my master card to meet her :-).

Dave...it looks as though the universe is going to decide when I get to see Mallika's photo, my computer is currently not downloading pictures. All in rhyme and reason...when the time is right!

Angela

Somebody's Mother

The woman was old and ragged and gray
And bent with the chill of the winter's day.

The street was wet with a recent snow
And the woman's feet were aged and slow.

She stood at the crossing and waited long,
Alone, uncared for, amid the throng

Of human beings who passed her by
Nor heeded the glance of her anxious eye.

Down the street, with laughter and shout,
Glad in the freedom of "school let out,"

Came the boys like a flock of sheep,
Hailing the snow piled white and deep.

Past the woman so old and gray
Hastened the children on their way

Nor offering a helping hand to her
So meek, so timid, afraid to stir

Lest the carriage wheels or the horses' feet
Should crowd her down in the slippery street.

At last came one of the merry troop,
The gayest laddie of all the group.

He paused beside her and whispered low,
"I'll help you cross, if you wish to go."

Her aged hand on his strong young arm
She placed, and so, without hurt or harm,

He guided the trembling feet along,
Proud that his own were firm and strong.

Then back again to his friends he went,
His young heart happy and well content.

"She's somebody's mother, boys, you know,
For all she's aged and poor and slow.

"And I hope some fellow will lend a hand
To help my mother, you understand,

"If ever she's poor and old and gray,
When her own dear boy is far away."

And "somebody's mother" bowed her head
In her home that night, and the prayer she said

Was, "God be kind to the noble boy,
Who is somebody's son, and pride and joy!"

Mary Dow Brine (1816-1913)

How blessed you are Mallika to have a haven to go to to rest and recharge and know that your children are being cared for and loved. I too am very fortunate that I have an open door, open arms and an open heart when I need it.

I realize that it is not a luxury that everyone has, but I cannot imagine what it would be like to not have it. Thanks for the "gratitude check".

Terri Lynn

Hi Mallika,you and most of the blog friends have so praised your moms.I thought I will write about my youngest daughter, Lena, 18yrs, who just left home to attend NYU.The first morning after she left there was no,"mom can I have some juice,milk,cereal?".I missed that.I came home and missed ,"mom what is for dinner?","mom can you help me with anatomy home work?","mom how come you are a doctor and don't know this basic stuff in anatomy?",(it has only been 30 years since I studied anatomy!).I also miss,"mom do you want to watch "friends" with me?","mom gilmore girls are on,come on","mom do you want to watch a movie with me?".

The coffee table misses her footprints on its glass surface,it misses the pop cans,the dirty dishes,the text books,the note books,the laptop,and all the other clutter.The kitchen counter misses her bookbag,her car keys,her tennis rackets. The laundry room looks so forlorn and empty.Her room misses her the most.It is not used to being clean, picked up and clutterfree. It is so used to having an unmade bed,clean and dirty clothes on the floor, not an inch of space any where to set anything down.It prefers the chaos of things, books, rackets,jewelry,shoes,and clothes.

I miss the two loving arms around my neck, the fragrance of her shampoo,the sudden unexpected kisses,the arguements,the little jokes.There is no one to make fun of my typing and computer skills,my pronunciations("mom you are still a fob,it is not ello,it is YELLOW,it is not wirginia, it is Virginia and on and on.")There is no one around to fuss with.

The poor pets,I may end up taking them to the vet and ask her to put them on prozak.They expect me to play like she used to play.They look as depressed as I.

I miss playing a proud mom watching her play tennis .I miss her friends.

I miss my beloved youngest daughter.I have a feeling most of your moms feel like I do!We love you children,your dirty laundry and all!!

Mallika I had so much fun writing this.God bless you.I hope your little ones are better.

Dear G jayaram,

Here this whole time I thought you were a guy!....how wrong I was. I loved what you wrote. All these little details of our children....we must stop and find them if we don't know them.

I am thinking now as I write, what are the little quirks about my son that I know....I know one, his dimple when he smiles.

You know years ago, when they used to have those identification programs if your kids were ever kidnapped or missing. They asked for one feature and now I remember I said his dimple.....

We have had a few times that we have both been laughing soooo hard, we cried. The last time as we played with the dog. My son put a bandana on the dogs head. The dog looked like Little Red Riding Hood....we were rolling on the floor. Then the bandana went over the dogs eyes....My son, saying to his mom (me) "look he's blind". So here I am the teacher who teaches blind kids, watching my dog walk around the living room with a bandana over its eyes like there was nothing wrong....

My statement back, "he has a good vision teacher"...tears were just pouring.

I hope you have those memories too, we all should and remember the good.

And the most important....as we all have done, we have raised these kids to be who they are today....their choices and how they act towards others are all a reflections of what we have taught them. So be proud that your daughter has spread her butterfly wings....and know that you did good by her.

Love, Joanie

g.jayahram......

that was magnificent!!

Empty nest syndrome is perhaps our greatest challenge, in letting go, and letting them fly.

I wish your daughter great success in her studies; and "filled moments" when you are missing your daughter..... too much.

North

Beautiful and sensitive thoughts, just like you!!
Mallika, help me to answer this question.....as we grow in years and family, do we love our children more than our parents??
Same question in another way...Do parents love their children more than children love their parents??
Ashima

Ashima, I know this question is addressed to Mallika, but I was really itching to respond to your question. Hope Mallika and you don't mind!!

I think that it is very difficult (read impossible) to quantify love. Moreover, our love for our parents is very different from our love for our children. You cannot compare both of these.

Having said this, however, I think the answer to your question is 'Yes'. We do love our parents deeply, but we tend to take them for granted. We believe that whatever they do for us while bringing us up, whether it is fetching us from school, sitting up all night when we are sick etc., is just their duty. But we don't take our children for granted, do we?

When we ourselves become proud parents, we realize the joys of parenthood. We begin to RESPECT our parents more. BUT, now our world revolves around our own children. It is like a piece of our heart begins to live and grow in this world...and we are responsible for them.

The role has reversed. It is now OUR turn to sit up at nights, when our kids are sick, read them bed-time stories etc. Now we know that whatever our parents did for us was more out of love than a sense of responsibility. The cycle continues! :)

Mallika,

Your post inspires me to be a more nurturing mother. Thanks.

Love, Bo

g jayaram,

It was emotional reading your post, how real it is.

My litltle princess is only seven years. My little prince is only 7 months. They are my little angels, my little "uppers" in life. If I am having a bad day, I only need to think about them and I instantaneously feel good. They are my inspiration.

As I re-read your post, slowly and thoughtfully, it brought tears to my eyes, streaming down my cheeks, knowing that, not long from, I too may face the very same situation, the very same reality.

For now, I am enjoying every precious moments with them as they grow and change every day. Oxana, the girl, went today to the other end of town to watch a play with her two little friends (who live next door) and their mom. My first concern: is that other mom a good driver?

In a few moments from now, we are leaving the house with the baby to spend the afternoon at an historical park, about a half hour's drive away. He likes to be driven, it soothes him. Before long, he will utter his first words and, I hope, it will be 'dad'.(smile).

Have a nice day, all.

Dear Mallika,thank you.You have moved us all to tears many times.I love your writing style,it is so natural,simple,moving and to the point.Reading your post is like watching a short segment video.Crystal clear.God bless you.

Hi Joanie,I should sign as Geeta.It is just a habit to sign as gjayaram.I enjoy reading your posts.You are really good.I love reading about your job as a teacher for the blind. God bless you Joanie.

Hi North,you are so right about "empty nest syndrome".I used to say I don't think I will have "empty nest syndrome",I am too busy.Was I wrong?!God bless.

Hi Ron Saywack,Thank you.I agree with you wholeheartedly,that our little ones are our angels and our uppers.God bless.

Shikha,
Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts on parents,love and children!!i agree we do take our parents for granted.......should i feel less guilty because the rest of the world does it too?? Parents are so amazing, they have no expectations.So aptly said,'god could'nt be everywhere so he made parents'. Thankyou,god.
ashima

Hi Mallika,
Because my mom lives some distance away, the feelings of coming home to mom have to take place over the telephone! But I feel so very fortunate that she is just a phone call away anytime I need her. We still need mothering too sometimes, even when we are mothers ourselves!

Hi Geeta,
Your post made me cry as I know exactly how you feel. I just helped my first born son move to his own place in a nearby city this weekend, as he will be starting classes and a new job soon. I miss him already. I know that my daughter who is 15 months younger will be following close behind, then my nest will be empty. They grow up so fast!

Hi Kristie,when I wrote about Lena,I did not expect any one to comment.I am so happy you all liked what I wrote.I did write the truth as I see it.Thank you so much Kristie.Well "empty nest syndrome"does exist,does happen,I am an example.I missed my older two also,but I really miss the youngest.God bless you Kristie.

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I am 13 years old and for the past couple of years i have been living with my dad and on Sunday night 1-08-06 while i was in church i started to cry because i wanted to live when my mom and i would hurt my dads feelings..anyways i told him and i went home to go pack and when he took my to my mom my dad started to brust out in tears and that broke my heart but when i was living with my dad we always fought so i hope this with bring us together..i really does but now i can't stop thinking about my dad and all i want to do is call him and spend time with him and at the same time i wanna stay with my mom, step and my brother and sister i love that over here...I need some help what should i do...email me at Girliegurl549@aol.com if you can help please help me