Thank you Alex. Sorted this out.

Dear Rahul; your rambling thoughts, just for the heck of it; is like a ball of string, to a kitten..

your thoughts lead; and I seem to follow, like a shadow among them, finding resonating fluidity.

It is your daring thoughts, which become footprints in the sand. Study each step; I enjoy your Self-Exploration(smiles)as I find similarities of life in them, with you and all, around us.

North

Hi Rahul,
Am in Bombay right now. Will celebrate Christmas here only. Or may go to Shirdi on Sunday if He calls me.
Just browsed through your post.....the English word for Ada is Style and for Fiza...maybe "in the air" like for example.....fiza mein hai jadoo will be "magic's in the air" when translated in English.

Take care and wish a Merry Chrismas to every friend on Intentblog.

Cheers!
Navin

Hi Rahul,
Am in Bombay right now. Will celebrate Christmas here only. Or may go to Shirdi on Sunday if He calls me.
Just browsed through your post.....the English word for Ada is Style and for Fiza...maybe "in the air" like for example.....fiza mein hai jadoo will be "magic's in the air" when translated in English.

Take care and wish a Merry Chrismas to every friend on Intentblog.

Cheers!
Navin

Hi rahul,

That was a novel way of painting a picture of 'the mind of a writer'.It was honest, lacked pretense and hypocrisy. Would have loved however to see somewhere in between glimmer and shades of hope, love, forgiveness. Yes, there was an inclination to repose in a hint of joyousness, whilst choosing the name of your daughter!! Keep that alive..All is not lost, Rahul..You have milestones to cross and miles to go.

Ever wondered why 'smiles' is the longest word in the dictionary?

Because there is a mile between one 's' and another.

Keep smiling.

Love

If eveything wasn't as it was, you would not have written that. For everything a reason.

Same msg getting posted four times! LOL, Mallika and Alex, it seems the new software and servers are going to get you four times the traffic on your site! (wink)

Cheers!
Navin

Zara - if I am not mistaken, means "desert flower" or, "flower, growing in a desert."

If my son was born a daughter instead; Zara is the name that would have been given her; or Maya, which my Mom was given the option to name, if a girl was born.

But, a boy was born, and given a boy-name! lol

Navin, May this Season of Perpetual Hope; cast all ways; a warming light to you, and All; from my house to each of yours; Merry Christmas; and May the New Year; be one of great adventures, and good Intentions being Manifested.

North

Navin,

So you are at Bombay! I was thinking where you must be, you were not seen here!

Rahul, so you think therefore you are??

Harb

How weird is all this
Shiva telling his wife
Like a urologist
Like a medic
To drink one’s own urine!

Posting all this on internet
Now I read this:
‘Her tea is no good
It is too cold
I can’t write.
I want to run to a café
Coco café to write

I read Steppenwolf
Now I can’t re- read
My desk is loaded
With this and that
An old letter I can’t find

I’ve new pairs of sneakers
To walk for hours like old times
Is just what I keep on thinking many times
Thinking all this I start watching
Hey Ram movie and start crying
But I want to laugh, I see
Myself in the mirror and start laughing
No more crying, no more crying!
Am I turning mad?
My thoughts turning up in mind.

I want to talk to someone
No body there to talk to
So I talk to myself wondering
What is baldness, how many types of baldness
But I give a damn to baldness
And feel like wrestling in mud
I did 13 years back
When I fancied writing
Screen plays I still can not write.

I wish I were near a fireplace
I wish my PC keys could crackle
Like crackling tinder in a fireplace
I could hear them sometime
Like gun shots to wake me up
So that feeling warmth
I start writing or crying

I am thinking, I am thinking
All these thoughts
But still I cannot read Steppenwolf.
Am I going mad? Am I going mad?
I stop. I gasp for breath
And then suddenly I turn
To Intenblog on how to breathe my breath

Inside I have demons
Holding my stories back
I want to get them out
Learning how to breathe
A deep, deep breath
Like the blog I read on Intenblog

Suddenly I start thinking
Of soul mates, soul mates!
What’s mating of souls
Sans sex, sans sex!
Let me go to the adda now
Perhaps someone there
Will tell me what’s soul mates
I have had enough sex
Maybe now I need a soul mate.’

PS: Rahul I stole your thoughts here. A muse!

"3. Her tea lacks character. I prefer preparing my own cuppa."

This made me laugh. My friend is visiting and she pounced on me this morning because I was about to pull the teabag out of her cup and she wouldn't let me put the milk in it as she had to do it herself. I get this way about my cup of tea too.

"7. I got a new pair of sneakers. Would walking, for hours, like old times be a good idea?"

Yess!!!! Nothing like walking.

"10. Maitri (Friendship). First preference"

- reject on grounds that it is unpronounceable. My niece has this name and I pity her.
": Maya (Illusion)." - Too common.
"Also Adaa, Fiza." - Not crazy about these either, they sound a bit frivoluous and would be the western equivalent of Brandy or some such thing.

"15. I wish there was a tin roof above my head and it would rain."

I totally miss that too. Remember the sound of hail on a tin roof? Not to mention the monkeys.

Dear Rahul,

One of my first beloved teachers was a Sufi who died of cancer of the brain, so I immediately felt a connection with you when you shared that you were a Sufi. Of course, I expect nothing, but I am just remembering the love. She use to always say, the teacher appears when the student is ready. I miss her so very much and no human has ever replaced her. She helped pave the way to my Spiritual Teacher as well as Deepak. Anyway, here are some words that I wrote in another place tonight that I wanted to share with you as your post above touched my heart.

Love Char

~~~~~
I sit here in silence and watch you fly by as a bird dancing in the heavens. When you decide to rest upon my weary heart, I am in complete ecstasy. Moments later you depart from my longing soul, as I reach out to imprison you. You slip away from my hands as water overflows from a fountain. Sweetheart, teach me your flight as I so desire freedom.
~~~~
The river of pain and pleasure has engulf my soul, as I exhaust my being. I am drowning in the turbulent seas, as I dream of wings. In peace, my heart flies in the heavens above.
~~~~
Okay, I guess I do have a question. Why can't I grow wings? What am I afraid of releasing? This fear is paralyzing my growth. Will I love when I fly? Will my passion soar as the wind in my wings? Will I lose my heart? What will I find that I do not already have? Will God sing a different song?

I had to run to the grocery store to buy milk for my morning chai. I wore my old shoes as it was raining. I come home and fine a Christmas wreath on my front porch. I do not know who has sent it, as there is no card with the wreath. I would like to thank the person who has sent me this wreath and I will pass this act of kindness to someone I see tomorrow.

I open the door and the house smells of pine sol as I washed the floors this evening. Nothing beats the smell of pine sol when you enter a room that has just been mopped.I was thinking of cleaning my room as it is a mess but I decided to watch a Shah Rukh movie, a funny one to go with my cup of chai and pakoras. Having garam chai and pakoras on a rainy day? There is nothing that can beat a cup of garam chai and pakoras not even the smell of pine sol.
Happy holidays.

Esther.

Char,

I read your prose poems in a comment to Rahul. You write well. I tried to put one into free verse for you.

***

Sitting in silence here

I am watching you,
You fly past me to heavens
Dancing your dance.

When you rest upon my weary heart
You bring me ecstasy.
You leave the moment I want you

You fly, wanting to be free;
Slipping from my hands,
As rain drops slip

Away from lotus petals.
Sweetheart, teach me you flight,
I too will fly to be free.

Tanzan Senzaki

Dear Char,
remembering your beloved Sufi teacher with you.
Love,aurora

Dear Char
It is midnight and it is Christmas. I am drunk; happy and hurt at the same time. I have been travelling aimlessly since morning. I am tired. Your words are beautiful Char. They really are.
Love, if i am capable of
R

Dear Rahul, when one is extremely happy, and at peace; it is the Godness within, which is drunk with love.

Wishing you and your family, a very Merry Christmas Rahul! May your pillow find your head in content slumber tonight; dreams, fading into night..of another time, another place..until a smile spreads across your face.

May the New Year of 2006; be a promising and exciting one for you Rahul; one of opportunity, prosperity and abundant love surrounding you and your family.

North

Rahul: I don't think I've had a chance yet to respond to any of your posts, but I just wanted you to know how touched I am by your writing. Your last story of bittersweet love was so alive and resonant and I've thought of it many times this past week.

Just wanted to send you some love and a wish that you enjoy the holidays.

Char: what beautiful words.

Tanzan: you transformed Char's words into beautiful poetry.

Love to all,
Sheba

Dear Tanzan .... Thank you. Your 'free' poetry is lovely. I must admit I had to look up 'prose', as I have never taken a course in English, but once I did take a class in business college. So I know, I probably don't write as I should, nor express myself well. Strange, as one would think I would know what 'prose' meant, since I have had poetry taught to me every year of my life while in school ... life is full of odd twists and I am humbled by your lesson.

Dear Aurora ... Yes, our sweet sister. I don't know why I am missing her so much right now. All I can do is remember her in my heart as she touched us all so very deeply. It's nice to hear from you too, as I connect you to those beautiful days of dancing in the rain with the sun over our heads.

Dear Rahul .... Thank you for the inspiriation and for sharing yourself. In madness, I touch my Heart.

Happy Holidays to all!

Love, Char

Thank you Sheba. Sending love back you and all who visit here. Love, Char

Char,

Here is your second poem:

Rivers of pain and pleasure

Carry my soul to the sea.
But I want to be free,
I want to fly on my wings.
Sweetheart, teach me

How I grow my wings.
I will fly with you,
And still be free
Flying on my wings.

Tanzan Senzaki

Wishing all of you a merry Christmas!

Tanzan, welcome back

Thank you all! Sheba, North, Esther, Divya, Char. God bless.

((((Tanza)))))

Char,
And finally here is your third poem.

***

Sweetheart, tell me:
Why can’t I grow my wings?
What have I to lose
To fly on my wings with you?

Will I love when I fly?
Will my passion soar on wings?
Will I lose my heart to you?
What will I have, I do not have now?

Tell me, sweetheart, tell me,
I love you, I want to know:
When I fly with you,
Will God sing a different song to me?

hi mr.pandita,
this is my first foray into your world. its good though some stuff goes over my head the first time, i need to re-read it.
i have been wanting to ask you a question for a long time... i like reading and what pulls me towards it is the feel i get through reading it.i really get involved in the situations, the characters.its been quite some while since i have felt that on reading a book an di dont like that. what i wanted to ask you was that does the feeling of being involved just recede as you grow old or am i just reading the wrong stuff???
i really like the way you write(the stuff i can understand). my personal fav- thirty droplets of existence.
bye
sneha

I live at 66048 Commonwealth in Seattle. Been up here before?