This guy wants to be in a talk show. And badly.

So one day, he walks into a studio where a hotshot is auditioning talents. One look at the guy and the host barks, "Got no time for you or anyone else, dude... so tell me what you can do, and quick!"

The guy looks at him and says, "Birds... I can imitate birds."

The host's tense face goes ino a freeze. Minute later he blows up, "Imitate birds... that's what you can do, hunh? Where do you come from dumbo... I got people who can imitate birds to fill up a state. Get lost idiot!!!"

So this guy, disappointed and hot with humiliation, walks to the window with a long long face.

Then he flaps his arms, and flies off.

Sorry...but I can't stop laughing about the first.
Love,
Donatella

ROAD RAGE

A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his daughter out for a drive in the car.

One particular Sunday however, he was so full of cold that he really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this week she would take their daughter out.

They returned just before lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father.
"Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with mummy?"

"Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what... we didn't see a single bastard!"

Check out a white guy doing bollywood. Really funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=2FNkUswfQdI

Yogu

Check this out and is really funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=2FNkUswfQdI

Yogi

The Female Rules
1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

'If I do 250 kph, will you take off your clothes?' he smirked. 'Yes,' said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 250, she peeled off all her clothes.

Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.

The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

'Go and get help!' he cried.

'But I can't! I'm naked and my clothes are gone!'

'Take my shoe' he said 'and cover yourself.'

Holding the shoe over her privates, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, 'Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!'

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, 'There's nothing I can do. He's in too far.'

Let's see if I understand how the world works lately...

If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.

If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of
the crazed deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore. So, if I die while my old, wrinkled rear end is parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates ...okay?

-----------

A HEALTHY DOSE OF LAUGHTER

I read that a child laughs 400 times a day on the average, while an
adult laughs only 15 times each day. Which is puzzling since laughter
feels so good and is so good for us!

You may know the benefits of laughter on the mind and spirit, but are
you aware of how much a good laugh can help you physically? NorÈÎman
Cousins used to say that laughter is so beneÈÎficial for your body that
it is like "inner jogÈÎging."

Mayo Clinic (Mayo Clinic Health Letter, March 1993) reports that
laughter aids breathing by disrupting your normal respiration pattern
and increasing your breathing rate. It can even help clear mucus from
your lungs.

Laughter is also good for your heart. It increases circulation and
improves the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to tissues throughout
your body.

A good laugh helps your immune system fight off colds, flu and sinus
problems by increasing the concentration of immunoglobulin A in your
saliva. And it may help control pain by raising the levels of
certain brain chemicals (endorphins).

Furthermore, it is a natural stress reliever. Have you ever laughed so
hard that you doubled over, fell off your chair, spit out your food or
wet your pants? You cannot maintain muscle tension when you are
laughing!

The good news is that you are allowed more than 15 laughs a day! Go
ahead and double the dose and make it 30 times today. (You may begin
to notice immediate improvement in your relationships!) Then double
it again! You are bound to feel better, you will cope with problems
more effectively and people will enjoy being around you.

Laughter: it's just good medicine!

----------

here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

------------

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was

sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo.

Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by

a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.

"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in

the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt

down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I

always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across

the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up,

"Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one

thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a

moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered,

"Wrinkles."

so cute huh?

Did you smile?

------------

Prayer of Laughter to All: from North

Laughter

turns frowns,

upside down.

May laughter enter your lives, the moment dawn wakes you.

May laughter warm your worries away.

May laughter fill your heart and mind with bliss.

May laughter come from all of us, God's Children,
that it might reach God's Ear, with invitation.

North

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.

At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.”

Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a “Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop” noise. “Wait a minute!” says the man taking the tour. “I understand what the ‘hiss, hiss,’ is, but what’s that ‘pop’ every so often?”

“Oh, it’s just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,” says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.”

“Well, that can’t be good for the condoms!”

“Yeah, but it’s great for the baby-bottle nipple business!”

great ones! Thanks every one.
here's another

George W. Bush is sitting at his desk in the Oval Office one morning meeting with some
people when a staff member comes in and tells him, "Mr. President, 3 Brazilian soldiers
were killed yesterday."

George sits there, stunned. He buries his face in his hands for a minute. The others in
the room are puzzled. They don't know why he's so shaken up.

Bush finally he looks up at the staff member and says, "Um... How many is a brazillion?"

Jesus Christ Crazy Musical. Click Play to start.

http://www.gqonline.it/cont/010web/011art/0601/1800/default.asp

That was hilarious Divya..try this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=2FNkUswfQdI

Not that I'm into football, but where I'm from the Denver Broncos are a favorite, and then they lost week and I heard this joke...

What do you call 54 guys sitting at home watching the superbowl?

THE DENVER BRONCOS!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

The Month After Christmas

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse!
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I had never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!"
So - away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie - not even a lick,
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, nor cornbread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to All - and to all a good diet!

17 little gigglies......

1) I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

2) Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

3) The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

4) I've sure gotten old.! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But,
thank God, I still have my driver's license.

5) An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

6) My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

7) Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

8) I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

9) I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

10) It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

11) The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.

12) These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

13) I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."

14) Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

15) Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.!

16) Remember: You don't stop
laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

17) THE SENILITY PRAYER : (Norths personal Fave)

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference!

Hope some of ya's had a few good gigglies!

North

Married couples in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife

The fairy moved her magic stick and ~ abracadabra! ~ two tickets for the new QueenMary2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband’s turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish s to go on this trip with a woman who is 30 years younger than me".

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick abracadabra! the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story...Men might be ungrateful idiots... But fairies are.... female!

Please can someone post some Laloo jokes.
Thank you,
Esther.

here you go esther

Laloo becomes PM and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif.They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement. "Nawazbhai will make the announcement" is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai," (All because of the Akai company people) says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi Nawazbhai se keh diye: "aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" (SO, I said to Nawazbhai - "You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free with it!")

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

Laloos family planning policy."DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the
bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER,SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite Sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags. "Five months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool," Laloo replies."Read the box, It says 5-7 years."

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, "What are all those clocks?" Yamraj answered, "Those are LieClocks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock.Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?"That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he
never told a lie. "And whose clock is that? "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life." Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?" Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan.

This one is quite funny too:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8871250999510070138&q=bollywood

haha that's why some women started using pop-up blocker inbuilt in toolbar (copper-T or something similar) to avoid little tiny pop-ups. Do as much download-upload you want but never will get chance to say 'you have got mail'

Thanks Kavita for the laloo jokes. I enjoy reading all the jokes. It helps me unwind.
Esther.

THE MOMMY TEST

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly,

"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a
Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile.

YO MOMMA'S SO STUPID

Yo momma's so stupid,
she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

Yo momma's so stupid,
she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo momma's so stupid,
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she ordered her sushi well done.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she bought a solar powered flashlight.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she got hit by a parked car.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she sold the car for gas money.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she thought asphalt was a skin disease.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.

Yo momma's so stupid,
when she saw the "NC-17" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

Yo momma's so stupid,
when she heard 90% of all accidents occur around the home, she moved.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she got fired from a blow-job.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she asked you what the number for 911 was.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Doggy Dogg's holiday album.

Yo momma's so stupid,
she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.

Kavita:

Ur Laloo jokes ...ha ha ha...grrrrreat....:-)

where are all the jokesters? I know one was on national TV last night, but where are the rest?.:)

more jokes

After learning english, Laloo throws a grand party.At the beginning of the party, he gives a speech in English.The speech was as follows:-

"I thank you all for coming from the bottom of my heart and also from my wive's bottom.

Laloo Stamp

When Laloo completed 25 years of his rule over

Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp with his picture on it. He asked Rabri, stressing that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and

Lalloo was pleased.

But within a couple of days, he began hearing

complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter. Rabri checked out at

several post offices, and then reported to Lalloo Prasad: She said: "The stamp is really world class. The problem is, our Biharis are spitting on the wrong side

What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?

La loo

God's Diet Plan

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach
and
green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long
and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's
brought forth

the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want
fries with

that?" And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds. And
God
created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that
man found

so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate,
nuts and

brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman
gained
pounds. And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought
forth
creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice
cream
for dessert. And woman gained pounds. And God said, "I have sent your
heart
healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And Satan
brought

forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it needed its
own
platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through
the
roof. And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose
those
extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so
Man
would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And
Man
gained pounds. And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God
brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with

nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy
center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream
dip
also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips
swaddled
in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went
into
cardiac arrest. And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery,
angioplasties, and stints . . . . . And Satan created HMO's...

To All My Online Friends:

As the holidays approach, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to
all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards"
over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure,
blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the
glue on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every
time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because
it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make
these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on
their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes
cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I
could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell
like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug
me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS
or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to
dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I
receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus
since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have
363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my
prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make
a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who
is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special email program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I
will now return the favor!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the
next 7minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea
will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know
this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's
cousin's beautician.

My giggle contribution for today; it could very well be a repeat I've posted on other laughter threads; regardless, my intent is with yours Kavita,,, laughter really IS good medicine!

OK, my son is out of the shower; without a warning, he creeped out of his bed, and claimed it once more; mom here, is getting too slow! lol Then, I'm on an out-and-about to town from one end to the next.... my hiking boots, ready for the heavy, snow-laden and icy roads... slush from well-used roads, and I find myself jumping snow-banks(up to 15 feet high banks of snow, plowed after a huge snowfall, at the sides of the roads. these build up into little mountains of ice and snow all winter, at the corners of streets, and drive-ways... being only a puny little five-foot-one inch myself, I am indeed, engulfed in the wonderlands of winter....

But, my worst "yuky" about winter, is not the minus fifty below zero fahrenheit! NOT the fifteen foot high snowbanks, on every corner, every driveway.. kinda makes me feel invizible in a profound way... like a person at the bottom of a mountain!

OK< so what I don't like; and it's a major pet peeve of mine; is the yellow-snow!!

Nice, winter landscape, as one walks along a shoveled sidewalk; banks higher than ones head;

with streams of yellow snow along the way, on the left, on the right....

oh nO! here comes an icy patch,,,

my eyes scan the banks... that over-shadow me..

OK< there's a stain here, there and over there - I take baby steps to cross the icy patch of black ice...the most dangerous kind, as it can look like bare cement or sand.... I pray I don't slip and fall... as the stench of months of doggy urine and doo; reach's my nostrils, I slip..I do the black-ice dance... I prance on toes and avoid the heels!! IF you slip on your heels, you are doomed!! IF you go on your toes, you usually fall to the knees... little norther trick WE learn, UP north here... we call it.... Black-Ice Dance of the Yellow Snow!!

Ok, we really don't call it that, I am really exagherating the title,,,,,but NOT the yellow snow,,,garlanding up and down the fifteen foot high snow-banks!!

Needless to say, I walk on the road!

North

North

well, will wonders, never cease to amaze me!!

MY son, the guilty one, for stealing the shower without asking Mom if SHE wanted it first,,,just emerged...

I complained... in a lovingly, joking way! compromise, compromise. The way of the parent!

ciao for now, all, and don't forget:

"Don't eat yellow snow!"

North

Hey North, I'm being serious now--my friend knows this lady who licked cockroach eggs off the glue of an envelope and then the doctors found cockroaches in her ear!!!!!! I'm serious too. It happened.

And North, didn't you see that Seinfeld episode where George's girlfriend, Susan, licked old glue off a wedding invitation envelope and then died???

Coke can also remove battery corrosion.

I've seen ppl drink pop from the can; and within minutes or more; develope a lip sore... creepy crawlies!! but, I didn't say that out loud; this is an official whisper!! IF I were to shout it out(NOT an ad for the detergent btw) coke/pepsi would haul my bankrupt butt into courts; i would be the proverbial mouse a la trap!!

Tiffany; I was convinced as a kid; when I consumed watermelon seeds; one would grow in my tummy!! Hmm, now as time would pass; and with just about every tweak of my guts, I was convinced a garden of watermelons were corrupting my bod!! When I finally, out of death-defying fear; told Ma about my dilemma; thinking ok, if I did die; she better know at least, why; and well, when she started to laugh; I thought it was true, and they were happy about it; so I stormed out of the room; not listening to calls to come back, come back..yeah sure, as if!!

But, I did get chased down; to have explained to me, it was all a fib(lie) and I was teased big-time by my siblings!

Being youngest of five; it was not only getting "punked" every week, as if on some scheduled mission; jokes; it was ruthless!! lol

North

Really nice laughter pills , I really needed them.

Ispita Saha