Dear Bharat

Your post hit me hard, because I, too, used to ignore my drivers, and people on the street, whenever I could.

That's changed in the past several months. My life has changed in many ways, not the least of which is a new, long commute that's very tiring. Now I'm grateful for the presence of others, though I'm still often silent. My current silences are due to tiredness, though, not to walling myself off from the people around me. I feel their presence strongly now, and I speak to them whenever possible.

I've found that I don't miss that time with the paper, a book or on the phone. I'm better able to relate to my life, and to those I love, when I'm open to the strangers around me. Their unknown humanity refreshes and grounds me. I spent many years missing out on this nourishment that comes from the presence of random strangers. I'm happy that I've discovered its value at last.

love, Heather

Dear Bharat,
You are right about not feeling guilty. What should you feel guilty of? Of not making eye contact with all the people who are in your vision range? LOL. If you start counting numbers, do you know how many people you see in one day? Here in Mumbai, I get to see hundreds daily. It doesn't mean I have to go out and make polite conversation with all of them. Some of them may not even welcome it if you go out of your way to talk to them.

There is nothing wrong with having a chat with your cabbie if he/she too reciprocates. If you don't talk to them just because you feel superior to them, then that's wrong. But at the same time you don't have to feel guilty about not talking to them if there is nothing to talk about. I talk to cabbies/autorick drivers here when there is something to talk, without treating them any differently than I treat the rest of the people I meet during the day.

Each one of us is living out our own unique movie. A movie in which we are the protagonists. There are only a finite number of important characters in the movie. The rest are only background players/extras.

You only interact with the people you were destined to interact with. Not a single person more, and not a single person less.

Cheers!
Navin

Bharat, in your extensive travels, you have come across little old ladies, the ones who shop at petite shops, who wear, pink and purple, frilly blouses, who love to talk, I am one of them. I ask a hundred questions to the cabdrivers especially if they talk Indian English or Hindi. Sometimes I tip them more than what is customary, because I know their life stories at the end of the ride, and also, I feel guilty for my nosiness!!

I was in a big city with my children, last year, and we got into a cab, and I started my conversation. The three daughters were rolling their eyes. He dropped us off. About half an hour later I realised I had left my camera in the cab. So I called the cab company, she asked me if I knew the no of the cab. I said ,no but his first name is so and so he has wife and 3 children, the children are 6, 8, and 10, he is from Iran, he likes to watch Bollywood movies,he can sing, etc, etc. The lady started laughing, and said I know who you are talking about , hold on a second, and I'll see what I can do. In no time the driver brought my camera back!!

God bless you Bharat.

Hi Geeta,
Thanks for your cute story and the congrats! Yes, we're very excited...
Love,
Kanika

Bharat,

I am no psychenaute, but it looks as though you yearn to connect with others but you are also resisting something. Resistance is confusing you to feel guilty or not guilty.

So here is what the jury has to say - defendent has the noblest of intentions and is charged for an offence he has not committed but is discharged of all allegations that he has resisted successfully. LOL!!

Sameer

Thanks for all the comments. Yours gave me a good laugh Sameer.

now i'll feel better about not connecting with anyone and everyone!