Love this! Thanks Kristin! All of these thoughts are right down my alley.
I have a theory about drugs and addiction. They actually take one to Nirvana, for real, but only for a short time, and then they leave the body in worse shape to be in tune with the radio station WBUDDHA, or whatever one wants to call it. This is why it does no good to tell the addict that the experience was just an "illusion" because they know it was not, and so they will secretly keep going back, because they know no other way. If they could be told, "Hey, yeah, I know that was a real experience, but there is another way to get there permanently" that might be a more productive approach. I keep thinking that if one were to hold the line of "Being" Sat, that one would get to that same place or even better, permanently.
And committments are sort of like Theseus' wax string, they are definite, but they lead one out of the labyrinth, they are guides to freedom.
I'm so right on to what you are saying about the "secret to life" Relationships seem to be a metaphor for life: it doesn't matter who or what you choose, but what you make of the relationship after the choice. I used to think it was all about the choice, one had to make the perfect choice, but it seems like the act of choosing is just the initial "gate" through which one goes to actually transcend or experience one's life.

Dear Kristin,
You and Scott have been two of the most respected members of Intentblog. And I acknowledge that you two have very balanced heads on your shoulders. God Bless.

What is the need for wasting money and health on drugs when you can be on a high for free? Be high on LIFE!

You ask: "Can we transcend our past hurts and patterns? Can we write our own story instead of being held in trance by the stories of our past?"

The only way to transcend your past hurts and patterns is by living them totally. By not pushing your hurts & emotions under the carpet and instead, dealing with them head on. Don't keep anything bottled up inside and confront your fears/hurts. If it's darkness you're scared of then lock yourself inside a dark room till you are able to overcome your fear. If somebody hurt you in your childhood then confront them at the first opportunity and ask them why they did it. Maybe they will break down in front of you and ask for your forgiveness. If there are some unresolved areas in your past which you are unable to let go of, then first go back into the past to deal with those areas. Only then will you be able to move into the future with no baggage of the past.

Cheers!
Navin

"What is the need for wasting money and health on drugs when you can be on a high for free? Be high on LIFE!" Navin.

Well said!

Interesting questions, indeed! I will be answering soon.

In the meanwhile, love and peace. (Emanating from the petals of a hundred thousand stolen white roses.)

Dear friends: I am so inspired and humbled to have come across this blog today - I am in the middle of a year that has challenged some of my most basic vanities, and shame from the past. I love that you, Kristin, can say that you thought drugs were all that. For me, I never actually did think that - but it was the easy thing to do to fit in with my friends, and deal with depression and low self esteem. Now, many years later, thinking that was all ancient history, and not about who I really am - has been so sad and toxic. I am not allowed to continue to pretend I don't feel shame - now that I'm undergoing treatment (a year long virus fighting regimen. I have been pretending nothing is different - while I'm looking and acting differently, not myself, trying to hold the secret from those around me.

I would like to find the courage to just be okay with this, and tell others so that I'm not holding onto a "lie". And honestly if I COULD then I'd just continue on, holding it in (I know! Sad but true!)...but it is so stressful and I can feel that it is so unhealthy. What is holding me back? Well, I think my mind is very tricky, bending and skewing my thinking so that the voice of fear comes up with new arguments against being honest, for example - "why would anyone care anyway? I'll just make them uncomfortable/I'm making myself so important/ or...people will not be kind - they will talk about you if they know (that I'm this "loser" ex-druggie!). Will I lose my job? Will some unknown tragedy take place because this big secret has been inside of me and has felt so shameful?"

On some level, I understand what I might say to reassure and love a friend who felt this way, yet I cannot give advice to myself that works - I wish for myself the nerve to just share this with those around me. The words "if we do not heal our past we are doomed to repeat it" are JUST what I need to hear today. Thank you for being there.

Dear Kristin

Thanks for sharing these aspects of your life with us, here.

love, Heather

I stummbled accros intentblog searching the word intent. I am looking at my intent in life. I notice that intent, in my life, may be separating me from true life. It is as though I have been seeking other than what is, by my intent. I wonder if intent is necessary at all. Or, is it more about right intent? If there is such a thing. For me, the drug use was about my intent to experience other than what was before me. My initial spiritual search was the same. To change my experience to fit an ideal. Oh well, my first post here. What's my intent?

Addiction can be a place of transformation. It takes persistence, courage, and not accepting easy answers.

Addicts are looking for something, and most of them don't know quite what. The drug is to fill some void, satisfy some yearning, or a way to try to experience some wholeness.

An addict is either trying to seek something or trying to run away from something.

What they are seeking is inside them, waiting for them to penetrate into that void, that painful emptiness. The feelings of unloveability, self-rejection, worthlessness, are all sitting on top of an empty, lonely void.

And that empty lonely void is covering over your heart.

To heal, an addict must make that journey. No one else can do it for them.

The confront with the self is the most profound confront.

Actually, everyone has to make that journey. In a sense, addicts are blessed, because they have something that brings the need for that journey to the foreground.

A lot of "normal" people are never prompted to look deeply inside, and they live their whole lives thinking things are important that are not important, and missing life's true beauty.

Life is tremendously beautiful. Breath in, breath out. This day is filled with the Presence and this moment is the pinnacle of all evolution.

But most people cannot feel this because it has been completely programmed out of them. The rush to acquire things, to stay on a schedule, to make a deadline, emotional baggages from the past, all this stuff takes people away from themselves.

Whoever makes the journey back deep inside their own self, and penetrates through all the garbage layered on top, that person will be blessed and happy.

For most people, it is a journey that takes years or decades. It is not an accidental transformation at all.

Just because you are not an addict does not exempt you from needing to make the journey yourself.

Each person is responsible for their oiwn transformation, and thus, for their own freedom.

nice post!!!
Sometimes good plain honesty can convey the most inspiring messages..We can come out of our past hurts and troubles..the surest way is to forgive and explore new horizons.

Hey Kristin!
Touching post and beautiful poetry...
I wish I could write like that- like what u, Narad Muni et al do. Alas!

Thanks for sharing your story. It takes strength of character to emerge victorious from such circumstances. Wish you success in all walks of life.
Love & God bless!

Kristin,

Great Post.

When you speak out your mind, It comes out original and I see that in your post.

I liked “bad things happened to me but I am still a good person.” Well if every good person can change just like you did, I am sure we can build a better world. Living in the past memories is often the bad choice whether you lived good or bad. If we can forget about the past and move on with the future, I am sure we are all can get real.

It is very simple to say but difficult to follow.

Good luck with your work.

Yogi Selliah.

Thanks for having the courage to tell your story so openly and frankly, Kristin! Written like a true poet! :) You're making a difference every day, and I'm so proud of you.
Much love,
Donna

Very Nice, Kristin!

And Navin, you are right when you say this, "What is the need for wasting money and health on drugs when you can be on a high for free? Be high on LIFE!"

It surprises me many times why people don't choose to be high on life when it's free.

Anyway, i'm lucky that i came to know osho at the age of 17 and after that, life is much better with glimpses of blissfulness although i still get fucked up many times. (haha)

Cheers, Rohit

Kristin,
Thank you for sharing your story. I can see you view yourself and your path with a healthy sense of humor. Healing speeds with laughter, especially when we have a partner or friend to love and laugh along with us. Thank you for touching my life in a way that I can relate and smile from within.

Love, Jori

Rohit & Navin:
What exactly is being high on 'life'? Do you guys mean enjoying every moment of life, taking things in stride, laughing & making merry, letting bygones be bygones and such type of things? If that is so, then the best principle to adopt in life would be the Bhagwad Gita philosophy of "do ur duty, dont worry/crave for the fruit". Isnt it?

Kristin, great post.I like the name of your web site. I used to think Namaste, meant," the light with in me salutes the light with in you." I came across another meaning recently, according to which, it means,"There is only one Lord between us." Your intention is beautiful, intention of a true Karmayogi. Your story is very touching. Thank you for sharing. God bless.

Hey, Everyone!
It's great to read all of your replies. Thank you. I hope to get a chance to get back and respond in more detail soon.

Welcome to the blog, onapath. :)

Love, Kristin

Kristin,

Hello! Nice to meet you! I like the way you put your poem on a butterfly, they're a favorite of mine, too. Last time I was camping, reading a book on a pleasent morning, a Painted Lady landed at the top, perched like it wanted a story. "Well, looky here..." was as far as I got...she took off in the wind and sky as my eyes caught the eagle she was chasing upwards.

I just got back from the lake, many yellow butterflies and yellow breasted wrens and wood-peckers today. The alfalfa is bloomin' and eveyone's sneezin' round abouts.

Intentions...the saint and the sinner wake up in the same position, Jesus only dwells in sinners. Whether I intend to be one or not is sorta beside the point. What is one person's sin is another's persons pleasure. It doesn't release either one from their duty's to themselves or others. Work before pleasure, then, is my requirement. Ridding myself of God's creations is not. I intend to enjoy life, you never know which day is your last.

Hope you can enjoy your evenings when all the work is done, however you please. Say hello to Scott!

It's a pleasure to meet you...and to be here, now! Keith/Me2

Kristin,
Great to see you having your own post like this!

"Can we change? Can we transform? Can we transcend our past hurts and patterns? Can we write our own story instead of being held in trance by the stories of our past?"

Yes, definately. Such evolution of self is, as I believe, the reason we come to earth. To become stuck in patterns is a natural happening in living unconciously (like we have for jillions of lifetimes) and to transcend it is to become reunited with the true, authentic self. It is self-realization, it is god-realization, it is what all restless and seeking people are craving. But sometimes its a tricky thing to untangle yourself from these webs. It can be done, but it takes whole-hearted dedication.

I'm sure theres a lot more i wanted to comment on, but i suppose it would be pretty superfluous. But i will say, great intent, and beautiful poem!

Love,
Ameya

Dear Kristin

Rarely inded does one come across a piece of writing, written straight from the heart, incisive, truthful, expansive and inspiring. Yours has been all of that and more, I just wanted to acknowledge the power of your words and their depth. May the light of your soul soar infintely to the realms that it awaits, knows and aspires to. Your poem too is subtle and exquisite. Bowing to you.
Thank You

Dear Ron, Rohit & Swear,
Yep, you got my drift.
Ron, if there was a title for being Mr. Decent here at Intentblog, it would go to you.

Cheers!
Navin

Wonderful post Kristin! I have always liked how you share your experiences so that others may be helped and know they are not alone!

In answer to your questions I have two quotes I'd like to share (and should probably tape to my bathroom mirror to look at morning and night!). :)

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thought. With our thoughts, we make our world." ~ The Buddha

"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you should begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love, Kristie

Inspiring..Beautiful..love the
'Declaration of Interconnectedness'
Cool stuff,
With Love, Passion,

Dear Kristin,
You are such loving inspiration.
With love,
Martha

Hi Stephen,
I agree, there is another way to get there permanently. And really, there is no substitute for the real thing, so why waste our time.

What you said about the choice just being the "initial gate" is interesting. We choose but then we need to commit. What gives us the ability to commit and thus create, transform, and fully experience? I think it's a combination of grace, and remembering who we really are and our true purpose here. What do you think?

Love, Kristin

Hi Navin,
Yes, we can be high on life for free! But how do we get to the place where we experience that? I think meditation and service to others is the key. Do you think so too?

I hear what you are saying about the importance of facing our fears and living the old patterns and hurts totally. Your example of locking yourself in the dark room if you are afraid of the dark really struck me. I think if we are really afraid like that - that is where we need to go. And that takes faith. And courage.

Love, Kristin

Hi Papa Answers,
How nice to know you have also stolen one hundred thousand white roses!
Love, Kristin

Pippi,
I think that (as painful as it can be at the time) that life creates (that we create) these situations so that we are forced to face our past, our fears, our shame. Almost anyone can say that if the COULD keep with the old ways of hiding out, that they would, don't you think so? You are couragous. You have identified your fear and your shame and when you are ready you will transcend it. Perhaps you will need some help such as speaking with a therapist or another trusted person who can listen and help to reassure you that there is nothing that you have done or not done that can taint the perfection of your true self. Or perhaps you will find what you need in another way. But now that you have come this far and have shared with us, I think it is only a matter of time and you will take the next steps that will nurture you on your path to wholeness. Of course, we are already whole. We just don't experience it fully yet. But we will.

Love and Blessings,
Kristin

Onapath,
I used drugs to avoid facing what was before me too. Even still, I have addictions that I get caught in because I am avoiding something. Alcohol and drugs are obvious addictions, but there are SO many, don't you think so?
I'm getting better at seeing my addictive patterns and I don't always get caught, but I'm not free of them yet.

Good for you, trying to become conscious of your intent in life! Have you heard this quote from the Upanishads: "You are what your deep driving desire is, as is your desire so is your deed, as is your deed so is your destiny." It reminds me of how important clarity of purpose is.

Love, Kristin

I think everyone should take yoga!
3 cheers for yoga and the yogis,
Kristin and Scott!

Enjoy your day

Donna

Marek,
How cool that you read the "declaration of interconnectness" on my website. I used to have it pretty much memorized and say it daily, but I haven't gone back to it so much lately. I'm hoping it's a part of me.

Love, Kristin

HI Kristie,
Those are both great quotes! Thanks for sharing them.
Love, Kristin

HI Ameya,
And what could be more fun than discovering who we really are? Discovering who you are! Oh, I forgot. That's the Same Thing.

Nice to hear from you. :)
Love, Kristin

It's a pleasure to meet you too, Keith!

And, THANK YOU Jasjit, Geeta, Swear aam not spiritual, Jori, Rohit, Donna, Yogi Selliah, preethi, yogi-one, Heather, Ron, Martha and Donna Young. I appreciate all of your responses.

Love, Kristin

ps. All this attention was fun. :) I'm looking forward to seeing all of you give it a try and volunteer for the weekly intent blog!

"Yes, we can be high on life for free! But how do we get to the place where we experience that? I think meditation and service to others is the key. Do you think so too?"

Dear Kristin,
Yes, meditation is the way which can get you in a state where you can be high on life. Service to others is just another form of meditation. Whatever gives you inner contentment and makes you feel one with the cosmos can be your meditation. You don't necessarily have to sit in a particular pose like a Padmasana ( Lotus pose)or something to meditate. You can be dancing to a Michael Jackson number and still be in a meditative state. You can be sweeping the floor and still be meditative. You can be watering your plants and that can be your meditation.

How and when does meditation happen? Meditation happens the moment your whole being is totally concentrated in the Present. You have no thoughts about either the past or the future. Everything is just HERE AND NOW. It always is about Here and Now. I personally, never had to do anything to meditate coz I live in the moment already. I'll tell you a little secret. How do the best sportspersons in the world maintain their high levels of performance? Did you ever see Boris Becker diving to hit a seemingly impossible volley at Wimbledon? You should see me playing Cricket someday....I hit the ball harder than a Viv Richards could ever do. Only those sportspersons whose total concentration is in the present can be Sports Icons for generations to come. Don't be surprised if I tell you that these people are in a deep state of meditation whenever they are playing a competitive sport with full concentration. Ask Scott, who is a martial arts expert, if I'm not mistaken......doesn't he feel on a high whenever he is practicing his art with full concentration.

Cheers!
Navin

Kristin, I read your post, the second half... with a big smile on my face, as I have the words "Prakritim svam avashthabhya visrijami punah punah" on a piece of paper on my desk besides the computer. A while ago I felt I needed to learn those verses in Sanskrit, so I looked it up, wrote it down and carried it with me in my bag. Today, I took it out and put it on the desk. And then, I read your blog :) Declaration of interconnectedness?

Thanks for an inspired blog, thanks for all the work, inner and outer, that you're both doing - you and Scott. I know that you wouldn't choose to live any other way :) Good luck with your intention!

Aurora: I wonder if you'd feel comfortable bringing to light the situation your group e-mail brings forward about "glacial waters" of Chile?

Considering Kristin's exceptional enriching contribution to the "Weekly Intent," I'd love to hear her take on that situation, and then her audience's view, for those who would find a way to make a tie-in to the theme she's posted here, about "writing your own story," or "a new story.

Kristin--I love not only the candid exposure of your own journey-of-transformation, but your touching way of addressing every response you've received on a one-on-one basis--hope this one keeps spinning--great pic, with those lively eyes and magnificent smile!

Say "hey" to Scott also--Dave

"My questions to all of you today are: Can we change? Can we transform? Can we transcend our past hurts and patterns? Can we write our own story instead of being held in trance by the stories of our past?"

YES.

Hi Dave, sure, I just don't know if Kristin would like to discuss that issue on her blog. But I don't think she'll mind.

The thing is, I've never forwarded group emails before and I don't know why I did it this time, I couldn't resist it. Maybe it was because I've always bursted in tears without reason when hearing music played by people from Chile on the streets of Swedish towns. Maybe it was because my husband is trying to raise the money he needs to go to a gathering of Inca shamans meant to turn around the fate of humanity. They will meet on a glacier in Peru, and human greed is about to meet on another glacier in South America. It feels like the eternal battle of light and darkness...I don't even know if the story in the e-mail is true, but it is a symbol of a battle that we can't avoid, just like Arjuna.

Aurora: I believe it was Deepak, in his studies of peoples reputed to have notoriously long life-spans, that introduced some information about the indigeous people of areas in the elevated regions toward the Patagonia of South America who achieved life-spans in the 175-year range-these people are (were) "runners," with some of their 60-70 year-olds being able to out-perform their twenty-somethings!

He spoke of how these people, in one generation, with the introduction of "cable TV and Budweiser beer," had a massive influx of diabetes onsetting in near-epidemic proportions--much like the Pima Indians of the desert Southwest of the US.

One of the characteristic environmental conditions inherent to many of these long-lived civilizations is their high-altitude locations, AND their glacial-fed water sources with their high-mineral content.

The Bechtel Corporation, based out of San Francisco, had an entire South American city (northern country), led by the efforts of one pioneering activist whose name eludes me at the moment, take back their government through mostly-peaceful defiance over the fact that this corporation, in concert with their gov't officials, had made it "law" that this corp. could own even the rainwater of this community--and made it illegal for anyone to trap their own rainwater, after taking over their full conventional water rights!!!

I'm interested in tying-in Kristin's theme-of-personal/collective change, with that of Bush Sr. and what his "cohorts" may be up to with the shattering, if not lethal effects, his company's "business dealings" will have on the environment in that part of the world.

Our main reasons for watching the Amazon rainforests disappear at an unbelievable rate is to clear-cut for acreage to be used for cattle ranching--to supply the fast-food corporations with beef--so South America, like every other continent, and their populations, are definitely being raped by the same "corporate and governmental villains." Dave

Hi Kristin,
Thanks! Yeah, I think "grace" is a key concept. There is a psychological battle going on between those who would have us believe "nature", our nature included, is corrupt, somehow nasty, and that it must be controlled. Grace is a symbol for the fact our nature is beautiful, creative, and exhuberant. It's the blockage of the flow that starts to stink, like stagnant water in a pond. I don't know how this battle began, but I imagine it is the ego, that ironically was formed from nature (everything is), got inflated and somehow thought it was better than nature. Just my guess.

Hey Navin,
I'd love to see you play cricket someday.

I've been putting my awareness on being present a lot lately. I don't think it will be getting me any cricket trophies, but it's certainly good for my soul. And my relationships that I hold dear.

Love, Kristin

Aurora,
You learned that Sanskrit verse too!! That's just great. Life is fun.

If you go to my website www.namastebreeze.com you can read my Declaration of Interconnectedness. I wrote it when I went to the ANH conference in Puerto Rico a few years ago.

Hi Dave! Nice to hear from you again. :)

Love, Kristin

onegirlmanyideas,
I'm with you. YES.

Love, Kristin

Dear Kristin,
Very touching. Very inspirational. Very motivating. Love, Patzi

Dear Kristin,

That wondeful, broad, beaming smile says it all:). A story that is easy to read and easy to relate to. What I learn from you Kristin is that when I bluff or lie to myself the only one I'm fooling is myself. In the long run though, when realisation sets in, I think it was well worth taking that path because otherwise we would never have been able to discover ourselves. The hardships and the heartbreaks were a boon in the long run.

Bless you Kristin and Scott.

Dave, thanks for a great post, I think it's very important that we remember the larger perspective, to see what we're doing with this planet. You are an expert on weaving together the details of the picture. When we hear of companies that want to own the rain water....it becomes so stunningly clear what our ignorance, our greed and blind instinct of competition are doing. Whenever I look at those traits in me, I have to pause, shake my head and laugh... it's so utterly absurd to go on like that, isn't it?

We all have those traits, but how immature it would be to continue to let them steer us blindly. I think that when personal change happens, it implies that we simply can't do things in the old way anymore, and if enough people can't be foolish anymore, then... we will collectively stop sawing off the branch we're standing on.

For me, it's utterly clear that no money in the world could replace clean water and fresh air. You know what... if all the leaders of multinational corporations could be allowed to choose between ALL the money and power and luxury in the world and being able to breathe... I think they might have some real epiphany within 3-4 minutes :) I have a feeling that this is the lesson Mother Nature is going to have to serve us if we go on like this.

Kristin, oh, I couldn't possibly forget your declaration, you posted it once on the Chopra discussion board, remember? I'm glad you have it on your website now, I'd love to read it again, it's a piece of great beauty. I just meant that every little synchronicity we notice is a declaration of our interconnectedness, a reminder of oneness.

Hi Kristin!

Brilliant post :)! I am grateful to be walking next to you my Love and to be the recipient (first hand) of your profound wisdom.
Love,
S.

Aurora -

Your metaphor about sawing the limb that we are standing is a good one. Ultimately I really see the situation with the enviroment as the deepest expression of our addiction to immediate gratification. This is as much an addiction as drugs or alcohol and seems to have all the same behaviors inherent in it. The addict gets his "drug", likes it and then tries to repeat the experience...the only thing is, that he/she needs just a bit more of the drug to get the original "high". The addict is aware of the possibility that he is destroying himself, but deludes himself into believing that his destruction is so far off that it is not a factor; he can deal with it in the "future". Of course the future never comes...it is always distant and ephemeral. Though he is destroying himself and and family (in this case the family of humanity and life in general), he's blind to it. The need for the "drug" is so enticing. He will maim, kill and rape in order to keep the flow of the drug coming. The drug is power and affluence...but it is (as all drugs are) an illusion; a distraction from true power, contentment, connection and happiness. Unless he wakes up to the sheer insanity of his addiction he will forever be looking for a way out of his prison, not realizing that he holds the key in is own hand.

Peace,
Scott.

Hi Kristin!

Brilliant post :)! I am grateful to be walking next to you my Love and to be the recipient (first hand) of your profound wisdom.
Love,
S.

Aurora -

Your metaphor about sawing the limb that we are standing is a good one. Ultimately I really see the situation with the enviroment as the deepest expression of our addiction to immediate gratification. This is as much an addiction as drugs or alcohol and seems to have all the same behaviors inherent in it. The addict gets his "drug", likes it and then tries to repeat the experience...the only thing is, that he/she needs just a bit more of the drug to get the original "high". The addict is aware of the possibility that he is destroying himself, but deludes himself into believing that his destruction is so far off that it is not a factor; he can deal with it in the "future". Of course the future never comes...it is always distant and ephemeral. Though he is destroying himself and and family (in this case the family of humanity and life in general), he's blind to it. The need for the "drug" is so enticing. He will maim, kill and rape in order to keep the flow of the drug coming. The drug is power and affluence...but it is (as all drugs are) an illusion; a distraction from true power, contentment, connection and happiness. Unless he wakes up to the sheer insanity of his addiction he will forever be looking for a way out of his prison, not realizing that he holds the key in is own hand.

Peace,
Scott.

Dara,
yes - I know what you mean, I wouldn't trade any part of my life, even the hardships. There is a treasure hidden in all experiences.

It's like this quote from Rumi:
"If God said, 'Rumi, pay homage to everything that has helped you enter my arms.' There would not be one experience of my life, not one thought, not one feeling, not one act, I would not bow to."

Love, Kristin

Aurora,
Oh, now I get it! Sometimes I need to have things spelled out for me and I'm generally last to get jokes. But I do try! Yes, synchronicities can be beautiful messages of our interconnectedness.

Hi Patzi! :)

Love, Kristin

Pippi,
Something you wrote on Sunday reminded me of how we have a need to share our stories. You said something about being afraid to make people uncomfortable or yourself out to be too important or that others wouldn't care to hear our stories. As I've thought about it I realize that we have a need to share our stories.

You hear a lot about the need to go move beyond our stories. And hey, that's so true. It's true because we are NOT the story. And yet, our stories are part of our process here. And sharing is part of being able to see the story from all sorts of angles so that we can ultimately find the beauty and yes ultimately let go.

Anyway, I hope for you that you find more people that you can trust to share your story with. People who will listen with compasssion and be genuinely interested and at the same time know that the story is not you.

Love, Kristin

Scott
it's true, what you're saying, thanks for articulating it so well. For me, it's so very touching to see how most of us spend life more or less addicted to something or someone we hope will make us whole. I see addiction as coming from a strong longing for wholeness, and people who are addicted, even to money or cruelty, are souls thirsty for unity. They're just looking in the wrong places, that's all. How could anyone judge anyone. Some look for wholeness in the eyes of the beloved, some in gold or drugs, alcohol or work... we're all looking for the same thing. I do hope we will collectively learn to look inside for everything we believe we lack. The role of a crisis is to make us grow.

David,
a friend sent me this link to more info about the Pascua Lama project, in case you're interested www.peaceboat.org/english/voyg/48/spe/050510/index.html

Kristin,
words are just words :) My daughter came to me the other day, looking very serious. She said "mom, there are three kinds of people, did you know?" "What kinds of people?", I asked, ready to start a speech about putting people in boxes. "Those who can count and those who can't" she said, and gave me a few seconds before she started to laugh. At me :D:)

Kristin:

Beautiful post!! You and Deepak...wow....I love to read what you both have to say about spirituality, disagree with what both of you say politically most of the time! But what really shines thru, is the wonderful person that you are!! I think you and Scott, (whom I agree with more often) are two fortunate individuals to have found each other...I hope the sun shines brightly on both of you every day.

norm

Thanks so much, Norm. May the sun shine brightly right back at ya!

Love, Kristin

Dear Kristin

A very moving and inspiring post. Just so that you know, I printed it out and sent it to a young (15yr old) friend of mine who is currently at rehab trying to overcome a drug addiction. The hope and inspiration that shines through your piece is something she really needs to hear right now. Thanks a lot for this.

Kristin:

Very well written and very interesting. It takes a lot of courage to share past mistakes and thanks for doing that.

I believe Meditation is just a tool.. in itself it does not take you any closer to God or Realization. The Mind needs to be prepared BEFORE the act of meditation. For a shallow and Petty mind even after ages of meditation will remain Shallow and Petty!! So, its heartening that you talk of Arjuna while you talk of your daily dilemmas! That brings the important perspective of Selfless Karma into the mix.

Great stuff!!

Cheers,
Desh
Drishtikone.com

Anusheh,
That's great. It's nice to know you're sending it to her. If you like I can send you some poems to give to her. I volunteer with some teenage girls and when I see them I give them poems I have written. I'm not sure if they are helpful or not, but the girls enjoy them. Some of them tell me that they collect them and others say that they decorate their walls with them. That's very touching to me, thinking that those poems may bring them comfort in some way, because I really care about them. In some way we are deeply connected.
Of course, that is true of us all. Only sometimes you experience it more strongly and then that is a message, right?

Love, Kristin

ps. you can find my e-mail address on my website.

Hi Desh!

How do you suggest preparing the mind before meditation?

Both meditation and karma yoga are good for the soul. I'm not sure I'd say one has to come before the other. My mind sure has its selfish, petty side and yet even without action the experience of the Self in meditation, however slight, helps to expand awareness in activity. And that does bring me closer to God.
Still, I'd agree that (for most of us anyway) even though its invaluable, meditation alone is not enough.

Anyway, I'm curious what you think we need to do to prepare the mind. Service to others?

Love, Kristin

Kristin, you write like an old soul may be a couple of hundred years old, and you look like a spring chicken. What is your secret? Will you please share it?? God bless.

Geeta, we are all very old and very young at the same time, don't you think so too? But yes, I do have the young looking face and as I get older I actually feel younger and more alive inside. I was much more serious at 17 than I am now and I think it showed in my face. God bless you too. You know, when I hear from you, Geeta, it makes me smile. And I think connecting with others makes us even younger. Someday we might all have the faces of children! Wouldn't that be funny!

Love, Kristin

Well, we finally get to see pictures of Kristin, and she looks good! Looking good Kristin!!

Hi Kristin!
Your photo doesn't do "you" justice.

I have been on my annual fishing trip up north so I didn't see your blog til' now.

My reading material "up north" was Sigurd Olson's Wilderness Days. I would like to quote a paragraph from that book as I think it speaks to "what ails us".

G.M. Trevelyan once said: "We are literally children of the earth, and removed from her our spirits wither or run to various forms of insanity. Unless we can refresh ourselves at least by intermittent contact with nature, we grow awry."

And Thoreau implied the same when he said, "In wildness is the preservation of the world."

And of course I also took "I Am That" on my trip. And to go to an even deeper level, Maharaj says, "Neither your body nor mind can give you what you seek - the being and knowing your self and the great peace that comes with it. To find your self you have to explore yourself. When you realize that you are the light of the world, you will also realize that you are the love of it; that to know is to love and to love is to know."

I took lots of photos on my trip, which I hope to show you soon. On one of them I'm holding a tiger swallow butterfly in the palm of my hand. I think it was half-dead because it just stayed there.

Love, Bob

Hey, Matt! I'm looking forward to seeing your picture here sometime too!

Great quotes, Bob. See you soon!

Love, Kristin

Hi Kristin!

I enjoyed reading your blog. Someone told me about blogs before, but I didn't really know what they were. At first, I didn't feel any comments or questions arising in myself, other than things like, Well, look at that! Nice blog! Now it feels like I know you a little better, or your story at least.

I like how you've consistently had the desire to help, to share the best of what you have and know, and how your sincere, sweet spirit persists in shining through you, finding ever better, wise, and varied ways of fulfilling that pure intention. Happy to know you!

Love,

Samantha

Hi Kristin!

I enjoyed reading your blog. Someone told me about blogs before, but I didn't really know what they were. At first, I didn't feel any comments or questions arising in myself, other than things like, Well, look at that! Nice blog! Now it feels like I know you a little better, or your story at least.

I like how you've consistently had the desire to help, to share the best of what you have and know, and how your sincere, sweet spirit persists in shining through you, finding ever better, wise, and varied ways of fulfilling that pure intention. Happy to know you!

Love,

Samantha

I'm so glad I found this story. It is just what I needed right now. And the poem about tranformation is lovely. Butterflies are very special to me. Synchronously and spiritually. Thank you so much for sharing your words and a part of your world.

Yes, I believe we can change. We can write our own stories. We each create our own reality. Spending an entire life in a cocoon isn't really living, but it's part of life. But the best part is learning how to fly.

Diana