Rahul:

Well written!!

The first thing that hit me when I came to the US was that every thing had a system.. everything was standardized! In India on the other hand.. we hate systems.. in fact we in India revel in chaos.. we are the only ones who understand the method in this madness!

I would say that I was suprised that NY scored higher than cities in mid-west and south! I have found people in southern and Mid-west US to be far more "polite". Alsono matter what they think - but people do help here. I have been in need and people do help going out of the way to do so.

So while a lot of what you say is true... it still paints the Americans with just one paintbrush - which is not good. For example, I know many non-Americans - specifically Indians - think that Americans do not have much family values - but where we live (granted that its mostly white or Asian neighborhood) .. all the women in our street are stay-at-home moms and many folks I know home-school their kids! I think that is incredible! So while there are many who are more self-centered - there are also many who give their own self for the family.

Cheers,
Desh
Drishtikone.com

Hi Rahul,
You are totally wrong about defending Bombay or Mumbai crap.
Let me ask one question, Are you On Cok/Hero/Meth/Pot?
I mean only people on dope can defend third world country India.
I mean what sort of comparison you are making be honest about it.
It’s like mother defending her retarded kid and living in denial state. And I guess this is the biggest ever problem Indians have, they do not accept reality.
According to you ,most of western society treat non white people differtly. I do not know about Canada and Europe However you are 100% wrong about America.I mean without living in America how can you make such a racist remark. This country(States) is made of immigrants.
Again You and Indian media is totally wrong about America. Period. One more thing about Bombay Film industry( I hate to call it Bollywood, I mean Hollywood is city of USA and I am sure there is no such city Bollywood in India), you make your career by copying everything from Hollywood and when Some study suggest that Western cities are better than Indian Smelly,Over crowded,Polluted city with poor manners than you start whining about racism and other crap. I mean first try to accept what is problem with you.
Indian society is gay ,closed, socialist society. Again Are you kidding me that you are questioning about Bombay ---Rudest city in the world. Only last question to you Are you on Dope or something. I thought you come up with some article about Bombay that People should learn something from this study.

Dear Rahul

Great post!

I'm from NYC, and can tell you why we're at the top of the list: we have real heart, northern hemisphere-style. Here, had you been sick, you would have been treated, and you'd have found your 24-hour chemist's shop. Except for the cell phone as you get off the plane, NYC can match Mumbai for available services.

We do have some weird attitudes on display -- rarity of eye contact, brusqueness, eye-rolling, verbal insults, etc. But these are our style, not our substance. Scratch the surface, and you'll find genuine helpfulness and real warmth. And if you learn a little NYC attitude yourself, and give it back when it's given to you, you won't even have to scratch a surface -- a nod of approval, or even a delighted laugh, will greet you as you're welcomed into the inner circle. Next time you're in NYC, when you encounter any of the stuff you mentioned, try this technique: Make direct eye contact, raise your eyebrows briefly, and smile a bit. Watch the attitude disappear. With surly cabbies, invoke the rider-is-always-right rule. Not only is it true, it's the law. (Most surly cabbies are new to the city, in my experience -- they're yet not used to our hard-working ways, and don't fully get it that service service service and the rule of law are what make the city work. I could tell some amazing stories of cabbies good and bad. For good, I once had a regular diver who could have been as a Nascar racer -- he used to drive me home at 85-90 MPH, late at night, on our most dangerous highway (the FDR Drve), in all weathers, and I felt so safe that I could doze if I wanted to -- and he'd get me home in 12 minutes, for a trip that normally took 30 minutes for other drivers. For bad, there used to be a surfeit of new drivers from southeastern China who absolutely could not drive -- you took your life into your hands in the most literal sense of you rode with one of these guys. But they either quit or learned to drive. Our driver's license road tests, and hack licensing regs, are very strict. These guys had to have paid someone off, initially, to get their licenses.)

Take heart, oh ye Mumbai dwellers and lovers of Mumbai -- 20 years ago, NYC was the rudest city, and look at where we are now. ;)

live in love, heather

Dear Rahul,
Good post. All the Mumbai papers were full of this survey controversy couple of weeks back. As a rule, I do not easily belive in most surveys as they even fail to give details about how many people were surveyed. Often, headlines would claim that over 80% people believe in such and such statement....and when you look at the fine print (if at all) you will find that just a few hundred people participated in the survey. These headlines are just attention grabbing tactics of the media.

Quote you: "I remember a bank teller treating my deposit in a bank like she was doing me a favour by collecting my money." Unquote

You live in Mumbai and you have a bank account in New York? LOL. Just curious. :) You don't want to blurt out such information on public blogs, dude. ;) Don't you know that Indian income tax officials are omnipresent. LOL.

Cheers!
Navin

PS: Just spent my Saturday evening watching a movie called Samsaara (The Material World)at nearby Cinemax. Directed by Pan Nalin, a first time director, it's a story of a Buddhist monk fighting to overcome his worldly desires. I liked the movie. Worth watching once.

Rahul,

I agreed with Desh that your piece is well written and I enjoyed reading it, although I could not help but feel that you have missed the point of the alligation. Racism! Warm and genuine hearts! What has that got to do with politeness?

One can be the most racist person at heart and yet be polite. I have seen them in my walk of life and the best go undetected because they are civil, well manned, courteous and dare I say even respectful when it is necessary(i.e In public). Be warned in a private gathering the truth is likely to come out.

It sounds to me that you are not cultured too or respect other peoples cultures, which is an important aspect of politeness. Christmas Eve is part of London's cultural traditionals. I am surprised that the Bangladesh Doctor took your money instead of advise you to take a taxi to A&E, which I garanteed you would not have been closed. Even better if you felt like you were dying, calling the hospital would have confirmed that and if so would definetely have sent an ambulance without charge - christmas eve and all! Shame on that doctor, especially if he was a christian!

I have noticed that you are more likely to get a hello and thank you from a New Yorker than you will from a Mumbai. In England very rarely will one get a hello and thank you from the Asian corner shop other than the amount due and the change. Once you have been seen more than thrice then ...

Rahul, understand that politeness has nothing to do with warmth and sincerity other than just good manners. And YES!YES!YES! I would rather hear thank you than not at all (with warmth or not) -that is just uncouth and impolite.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Harriet

Hi Navin ,
Do you need rocket science to prove which city in the world is rudest?
I mean it is so obvious.
Anyways, this survey may not for “People from Bombay”. It was mainly for western travelers with deep pockets.
So I really appreciate your , rahul and Bombay media point of view on this survey.
However your and rahul's reaction to this survey is like Indian in USA wearing Green shirt on St. Patrick day (Iris).Bottom-line, It does not matter whether you wear green shirt or not.

Jignesh:

You know you IRRITATE the heck out of me with your heavily incorrect English and lousy sentence construction as also your rabid remarks!! If you are soooo anti-India.. at least.. at the very least .. can you first LEARN THE LANGUAGE - I mean grammatically correct version .. not your Gujju-accented one all verbs and nouns mixed one - BEFORE you blabber again???

Yes, there are problems in India.. and so are in the US.

In early 1990's NIRMA the detergent company was beating the heck out of Hindustan Lever (Unilever subsidairy)... and there were reports that "NIRMA has Beaten HLL"... my only retort was that

.. HLL .. is THE HLL for last 50 YEARS.. when NIRMA is THE NIRMA for next 50 years.. then you can compare both!

Similarly.. the basic difference between the Western Countries and economies like US AND INDIA .. is that US is a COUNTRY.... and INDIA is a CIVILIZATION.... so When US is THE US for next 4000 years.. then lets start comparing!

The truth is that US is the US for just 100 odd years.. and that is pittance even by British standards!!

Politeness or Rudeness is very cultural. A Punjabi son in a village near Jallandhar would call his Mother "Tu".... something that a city slicker from Delhi would take to be the RUDEST possible addressing way for a Mother!

So "comparing" rudeness is a nonsensical game!!

Cheers,
Desh
Drishtikone.com

Rahul: Would you want to live in a city brimming with eye-glazed smiles that doesn’t give a toss about you, or would you prefer to live in a city that cuts through the crap and gives you a hand when you really need it?

Rahul, pardon me for not reading the whole blog, but I'm slightly confused with your notion of fake politeness. Where in the world have you seen people collectively giving glazed smiles without a care? Is it even possible? The politness comes through the collective psyche of any city or location, I really don't think you can fake it for long.

Noname:

Good point. I also feel that Politeness is in some way a derivative of the "Prosperity" and, more importantly, the SECURITY of that prosperity that people believe they have.

When the country's residents start feeling "threatened" by others then politeness can go out of the window.

Also, when "Survival" .. specially basic Survival is at stake.. then politeness again goes out of the window. That is why Bombay is the way it is. It aint easy to survive there. And most of the folks are trying to survive first! Such an instinct would probably be absent in a small hilly village near Solan, Himachal Pradesh! Similarly, there was nothing polite about how people behaved in New Orleans after Katrina!

Cheers,
Desh
Drishtikone.com

..mmhmmnn..
;)
you guys appently never been to Poland,
rudeness?
try an communistic indoctrinated, loan shark,
if you ever get there, with the kamikaze road
pirates, on a death wish, that's often the most
'fun'those guys get out life..
the adrenaline,
where's the love..?

But the best doctors in the world, ready willing and able to, serve their Dharma's, that's a fact,

Now I'm drinking pepperd wodka, with my wingman, JP, and off to check the worlds most precious,
gems, polish..

Love, Passion!

but, now I

As a Bombayite (or a Mumbaikar) living in NY for the last few years, I found it amusing that the survey found NY to be the most polite and Mumbai as the rudest city in the "world". How many cities did they include in the survey? It would be interesting to find out who were the people/backgrounds surveyed for this pole. What qualifiers did they use to explain "politeness" and "rudeness". There are so many similarities among both the cities, Crowded, busy, on-the-go, rushed, diverse.... Yet I would find it difficult to vote NY as the "most" polite and Bombay as the "rudest".

Na Zdrowie,
First one is bitter,
seccond is nice,
third is sweet,
forth shot of wodka,
fifth,
let's get a party started,
the polish way,

we're on our way,
Sopot, Poland, guys, yesterday, I'm serious,
this is, a candyshop! no kiddin'!, these females, give, femifiminty, a meaning..WOW!
ok, some chicks, sms, the next day were weird,
but hey,
whatever!
did some reconaissance mission yesterday,
today,
we're out for a..;)

Love, Passion!

Hello Rahul and Everyone,

Bombay WOW 18.4 million people! Well, I would love to visit the rudest City in the world one day! I can be pretty rude myself, never really intending too, but somehow I always manage to have an air rudeness. Although, I can be pretty polite too.

Poetry Corner - Phree Doctoree Silah Basu Bhai Saab Ko

A brown Asian boy
Visits a joint
On a weekend
Near piccadilly
Where a gori gori
Flits her tongue
Past his tongue
Reaching his Adam’s apple
Like a Gila Arizona geico
Reaches its to catch a fly

Poor brown Asian boy
Catches strep throat
Miserable, high fevers
A bungalee desi doctor
Charges hundred pounds
Phar a phune advice
Bery bery expensive
Shame on the desi bhai
Charging so much
From a basu bungalee bhai
Phar a phune prescription
Of amoxicillin.

Next time you come
To New York or London
To abandon
Yourself in a gori gori
Away from Bombayee chori chori
Don't forget basu bhai
To bring with you
Some amoxicillin gotten
Through sleuth Seth
In hera-pheri.

~Ravi Kopra

Desh:
I did not know that you are really very CHEAP Indian. Oh... I am sorry; Most of Indians are very very CHEAP.
Anyways, what else you can expect from losers.
I am not sure however I am guessing that you are from Punjab.
Do you know most of Punjabi Indians in states talk and dance like GAY or they are GAY.
One request to u all Punjabi, pleaseeeeeeeeeee get rid of that stupid looking turban from your head. Unknowingly you are hurting feelings of Most of the americans.And It's not cool also...

Great post Rahul. I agree with most of your observations.

I vaguely remember reading about this survey a few weeks ago. I think it was based on whether people held the door open for you, whether they picked up something that was dropped, and whether they said thank you. New York happened to score high on all of these. But generally NY has a reputation of being one of the rudest cities in the US so I was very surprised to find it come out on top. I've lived in NY for the past 20 years and whenever I travel to any other part of the US I am always impressed by how polite they are in comparison.

I agree that Indians are not so concerned with superficial niceties but do come through for you when it really matters. But the rudest city by far on every level is Delhi. I wonder how that didn't figure in the survey.

Jignesh:

Your name is Indian too. If you hate India so much then why don't you change your name first.Your origin is from India. So you must be hating yourself too. By the way, turban is the coolest thing I have seen. You probably do not know the significance of a turban. That is why you are making such ignorant comments.

Dear Jignesh,

Hi. I couldn't care less about which is the rudest city in the world. If you think that my earlier comment was meant to defend Mumbai, then you didn't understand me correctly. I don't identify myself with Mumbai or any other city in the world, for that matter. Oldtimers at Intent know that I consider myself a World Citizen. Period.

People who would defend the cities they live in too strongly or the countries where they live are perhaps too attached with them. Deep down it is a very subtle way of the ego to protect itself. When they say that their country or city is the best, they are sub-consciously trying to project that they themselves are the best.

Don't you think that surverys like "which is the rudest city in the world" or "who is the most handsome man in the world" or "who is the sexiest/most beautiful woman on earth" etc. are very frivolous timepass subjects to fill media content? I don't think such surveys should be taken so seriously. Just chuckle and enjoy them as idle gossip along with your coffee/tea & snacks.

Cheers!
Navin

PS: And I don't know what grudge you have against Punjabis but I would suggest you should not generalise, and keep an open mind and an open heart.

Here is vinod mehta's take on the survey, quite similar to Rahul Bose's view

http://www.outlookindia.com/diary.asp?fodname=20060710

Rahul, whew! Finally someone's got it and said it! I don't know whether we can blame people for being rude,anywhere in the world, considering how imbalanced minds are being forced to turn. But basic kindness is an inherent thing and you are either born with it or not. There is enough kindness among Indians- in their blood, through family values. And that's one reason why it surfaces naturally inspite the absurd stresses of this city, often against temptations to be rude.

Mumbai's politeness and jock is all made of overstatements peddled so consistently by a high-nosed bunch that it appears stronger with every passing day. This sample thinks of itself as the supergods of ettiquette, politeness and tosh and hold puny instances as watershed symbols of human behaviour (2'o clock at Kandivli: "Ae taxi, Linking Road jaane ka hai." "Baitho saab." Trring. Wow.)

More so, as they have a bone-picking rivalry going with Delhi - which going by an overall perspective, is immeasurably crude. So everytime these self-appointed durbans of behaviour collectively blow up the 2-rupee plastic whistle on everybody else, it soothes their dry, starched souls like nothing else. Satisfied that their job for the day against anything Delhi/Punjabi/North India is done, they go back to their uplifting encounters with taxi drivers/chowkidaars/bus conductors and start taking notes.

This is not to say Mumbai is definitely the rudest city in the world or in India. It isn't - it's only as rude as any other city in India. The reaction to Mumbai's self claims are stronger because they are all phoney. And I think Mumbai's politess is not out of choice but out of force. It is the underworld gun lurking in close corners that keeps Mumbai a touch out of abrasive behaviour and the choicest abuses. So big deal.

I wonder why are we giving so much importance to ppl like Jignesh...

he shud be stopped from insulting INDIANS, his comments are disgusting...

Sherry

Dear Rahul,

I have lived in Bombay for a couple of months time a couple of times in the 80s. There is much to dislike about the city, but one thing I must say: people are very friendly compared many other cities in India. I have lived in Bangalore and visited Delhi several times and I can say without any doubt that people of Bombay come out as the warmest of the lot, in my book anyway. As others have pointed out, the metrics used in the survey are loaded in favor of the western cultures. You can twist these questions anyway to get the answers you want; so it is like a beauty contest.

Dear Jignesh, I don't know what makes you hate Indians so much. Someone of Indian origin must have hurt you real bad; let me apologize on that person's behalf if it helps you overcome your hatred. Remember hatred hurts you more than the hated. Please forgive and move on.

Regards,

Ravi Kulkarni

HI Shri/Ravi,
Well, I may be brutally honest about Indians . And my way of telling truth may be liitle bit extreme I guess.
Now Let me give few examples , which will corroborate my extreme anti Indian statements
1. I went to Mumbai once ,my family was mugged by So called Bombayite
2. Rahul’s experience on 2000 Xmas’s eve was problem of not knowing the system.Not London city.
3. Even in USA , most of Indian do not have good manners like
a. Opening door
b. thanking you
c. Tipping waitress/waiter(Standard is 15-20%, they tip less than 10% or they do not tip)
d. Talking loudly personal matters on cell phone at public place or workplace.
e. Dressing inappropriately(Cheaply)
f. Smell like curry(please take mouth freshener )
g. Etc etc

Some people will argue that It is like seeing Glass Half full or half Empty. However with Indian it is like seeing 80 % empty ,20 % full . And I am talking about 80% not so good part of Indians.

Jignesh,You have hit the nail on the head!

2. Rahul’s experience on 2000 Xmas’s eve was problem of not knowing the system. Not London city.

After I had posted my comment to Rahul, it struck me that the poor guy had been robbed by a Bangladeshi doctor who knew he had a mug on his hands. Charging £100 for a consultantion on a sore throat is broad daylight robbery!

Rahul, I take back my words it is not that you were disrepectful of the cultural traditions in London you were just ignorant of the system. Sorry you were robbed.

Rahul,

I don't agree with the poll too - it sounds ridiculous; but I guess your post is bound with only your experience. The Seer became the experience.

I am a cross between TamilNadu and Andhra, was born in Calcutta, raised in Delhi, worked in Bombay, Bangalore, Hyderabad and Chennai and living in LA /US for 5 years now. I remember my first few days in Bombay - "Ek baar Bombay main reha liya tho baakee sheher bakwaas", "Yahaan pe jo life hai kahaan hai?". Their views about Chennai - "Hindi kyon nahi boltha yaar?", "Kya chootiya sheher hai - auto valey saare math*** ". Delhi - "Kya selfish log yaar, harami saley"? Calcutta - "Saley Bong" , UP/Bihar - "Baiyya Madhar***"

I seriously wonder how can Bombayites living in Dirt can be so proud of their city. It is as though people get used to feeling good about themselves much like pests. I am sorry, but I guess you have no right no compare Bombay with any of the other developed, clean(er) cities even when it comes down to politeness. Even by Indian standards people there are not courteous as anyone (Bombay wala) would tell you. I remember living in this hotel during last years floods and came across the dirtiest, rudest hotel despite shelling out 2k a day.

My only request is not to make Bombay some kind of heaven when it woefully falls short of even Delhi's Regarpura (figure that one out). People may be nice - come on! when you are in a ant hole what do you expect?

Sameer

Dear Sameer,
I agree. If you keep aside the topic of rudeness/politeness for a while and speak just of the living conditions in Bombay/Mumbai, I would have to say that even as compared to Delhi, Mumbai is one big slum. Nothing more than a glorified slum.

The roads are dirty, narrow, and full of craters. In fact, there are more dug up roads than functioning ones. It takes two hours to travel by car the same distance which would take you only 30 mins if you were in Delhi. Local trains are much faster and can reduce your travel time by one fourth, but you would travel in local trains during rush hours only if you were feeling suicidal.

The city has such poor infrastructure that one could never believe that it is supposed to be the financial capital of India. Real estate prices are exhorbitant, to say the least. You could buy a nice bungalow in Delhi with the same amount of money that you'd have to pay for a 3 bedroom (1500 sq.ft.) flat, even in a suburb like Bandra.

The only reason people come here is due to the unparalleled employment/business opportunities it offers. Also, it has a high concentration of singles living here as compared to other cities in India. All in all, I'd say, Mumbai is certainly not a tourist destination.

Cheers!
Navin

Divya,

I'm in New York from Saturday 8th July-until Monday 11th-fleeting visit-to celebrate my birthday with my lil bro etc al.

Fancy a coffee-and an argument-ha,ha!!! Don't really know how to contact you-sorry for using intent and this post (apologies to everyone)-I have my India cell with me-but let me know first if you're free.

Will post a comment on this later.

K

Now this may sound naïve or even stupid to most of you, but these etiquettes were/are NEVER taught at school, nor at home!
Agreed, I learned in vernacular medium in a very small town (rather, a big village) in India, but I checked with my daughter (who is studying in of the finest convent schools in Pune). She has a special subject called ‘Value Education’. Unfortunately these etiquettes are neither taught there too!

I certainly observed (& learnt) those manners within first fifteen days of my stay in the US (& had tried to imbibe them hard). Yes, I used to hold the door open for the next person, used to pick up a fallen paper & used to say ‘Thank you’ & ‘sorry’ at every relevant opportunity:)

Well, fast forward to circa 2004. I happily return to India & find myself amongst millions/billions of my brethren. I still try to follow those good manners I learned/practiced in the good ol’ US of A. I hold the door open for the next person & lo.. I get a strange stare! (..& get a feeling somewhere deep within that he mistook me as doorman:) I pick up a piece of fallen paper & hand over the right owner (a lady, in this case) & get a cold stare as my gift:) (‘Why-the-heck-do-you-bother-you-flirt?’)
I find myself patiently standing in the line (at my office café for snacks/lunch) & my own colleague (co-worker) without batting an eyelid jumps line ahead of me!

After a few more instances like these & I learned another lesson...

When in Rome, be like Romans! When in India, be like Indians!!

& don’t even bother about the niceties like holding a door open, etc. Else you are the odd man out there:))

Hey Kamini - I'm free all day on the 4th. You can contact me at indigenous1985 at yahoo.com. Or leave me your NY number on this site. If tomorrow is not possible we can figure out when else would work.

Prashant - I agree with your observations. I think Rahul is saying something similar - that there are different scales for measuring politeness.

But each time I go home to Delhi, I'm always a little shocked at how rude people are over there. It may have something to do with the overcrowded, cut-throat competitive nature of the city. I find people in the mountains to be much politer.

Sameer:
"I seriously wonder how can Bombayites living in Dirt can be so proud of their city."
I agree 100% with you.
Jignesh : How about your manners? Mr. ABCD. The way you make comments on Indians is not good manners.

Anil

Hi Divya,

I'm not in New York yet. I'll be flying from Delhi on Friday night (7th) and will be in New York until Tuesday the 11th. So was thinking could meet on Sunday/Tuesday? My e-mail id is kamini_paul@hotmail.com

E-mail me and I'll give you contact numbers! Anyone else want to meet up? Be nice to put faces to names.
K

Navin / Anil,

Thank you. I guess I probably overstated a couple of things - but the fact remains true. A city is what it is, every citizen of the city is responsible for what it is unless you are living in Stalin's Russia.

To compare and contrast is all pettiness at some level - but we can be better off not comparing. Rahul, gets a "Vaanda nahin" at most places as he is a big shot. What about the beggars that grab your shirt on the roads there?

One of the comments someone made here was of Bombayites animosity with Delhites. According to a Bombay wala a Delhite is the coldest person on planet earth. This is reflection at work - you will see that the only person a guy standing in a crowded train will care about in Bombay is himself. You cannot help that.

As for politeness, Bombayites need one another to survive. They cannot do without it.

I am glad the poll happened, for I was tired of people asking me why Chennai is the lousiest city in the world.

Love,

Sameer

Jignesh,

How are you? How is it going? Nice weather.

Thanks for being politeness personified. The next time you see your blood or read ABCD - kick your own ass. Don't forget to do it in private and say Thank you when you are happy and Sorry when it hurts. Also, ask the person who keeps the door open for you to kick your ass once again. That way you will reach self realization and eternal bliss all at once.

Thank you very much and you are very welcome,

Sameer

I think we all have our own ideas about etiquette and social norms in the context of how we behave towards other people, with other people. Politness is usually what you are taught from a very young age-after a certain age, you are responsible for your own actions. In India, the norm is not to use 'Please' and 'Thankyou' in everyday dialogue, not because people are rude, its just not in the psyche. However, the lack of using these words in this West is considered rude. Lack of time keeping in India, is considered the norm and acceptable:- turning up late for dinner parties etc, in the West you would consider it unacceptable to turn up to a dinner three hours late (let alone a wedding). The idea is that your time is not more precious than mine attitude.

I think in any society you have to accept certain ways of behaviour etc. Yeah, Londoners are considered rude, unfriendly-but what you have in the West is an acceptance of personal space. Don't bother people, don't invade their space. In India, there is no concept of personal space. There is a collective, not an individual idea about existance.So when you stand in a queue at the bank or whatever, the concept of waiting your turn doesn't exist. Before you know it you have someone standing right up front of you, in your face, jumping the queue and invading your personal space. It is a fact, that people don't do this in the UK-because its considered rude.

I think that every society has its way of doing things and that has to accepted and tolerated. there are cliches and stereotypes about every country and culture. The French are arrogant and will not speak English to you even if they are fluent, the British are reserved and analy retentive, Indians are always late etc etc But sometimes these differences can be seen as charming. Also, you base your opinions on personal experience. I for one love Londonders and think they are the most friendly people.

However, sometimes when we try and exercise our own form of etiquette we get caught out! I was in Paris once with my boyfriend at the time, walking around, when this extremely well dressed man came up to us and said something in French, which I could just about fathom to understand (I was pretty rusty, even though I studied it for years) as 'Excuse me I need some change/coins for the telephone?' I told my boyfriend to give the man some change, at which point he took out a five franc coins and gave it to the guy-expecting him to give him the notes in return of the equivalent sum. The guy then gave me a big smile and hug, said something in French and then promptly walked off with our money, leaving us bewlidered,thinking, what the f*&^k????

Anyway, the moral of the story is that you win some lose some-I was being polite and the guy too advanatge of it...plus I realised that I must improve my french! LOL

Jignesh: COWARD!!!!!!!!!!
Let us know ur webpage or blog page, if u have the guts (i am being polite, though i shud not be with an ass like you)

Sherry

Sherry : I am sorry I do not give my webpage address to the Strangers. And I do not have public blog page.
Sameer : If I were you, I would buy this book http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/9889/american_manners_etiquette_and_protocol.html
if you are originally from southern part of India.I want to make one request to you, Pleaseeee do not talk loudly your personal matters( native language) on cell phones in the office or public place . and do not create ghetto kind of environment at workplace. Thank you very much.

Jignesh,

Now you are behaving. I will definitely take a look at that book, though I seldom use my cellphone for personal reasons whilst at office. Even though I am from Southern India, I hardly ever lived there.

I am sorry if I hurt you too, your remarks were very crude and you don't need to generalize everyone.

Sameer

Jignesh, South Indians talk loud on cell phones, punjabis wear turbans, x does A, y is eccentric. Dont you believe that everyone is eccentric and who is not is 'american', because I think most of them are identical beings like made in wallmart.

As far as your story of mugging is concerned, its very common in all big cities. I almost got mugged in paris, and I know of lot of people who got mugged in nyc, paris etc.

As far as american ettiquetts are concerned, I think you have been living on east coast for a while. I dont give a damn about them and of what people think about it. I dont want people to open the door for me, and in return I dont keep it open for them also. The reason is all this is bullshit formality and I will act according to my conscious and reasoning than social ettiquetts. But the problem with americans is that most of them dont have the first of the two characterstics, they are programmed beings. The question is not why shouldnt I do it, rather why should I do it ?

And as far as you mentioned that there is no racial discrimination in US, I would point you to a documentary: "Brothers and Others" by nicolas rossier, it shows the racial backlash on moslems in US after 9/11.

It seems you are too ashamed of your origin, I am assuming you are an indian by origin. If it is so, then it is really pathetic cause India has one of glorious history and has contributed to the world in all fields significantly. So, despite being a poor country, it has been fairly popular for its positives also.

Anyways, this forum is for healthy discussions and you are taking us away from it, so, why dont you join some community of like minded people.

The US version of the article can be found at:

http://www.rd.com/content/openContent.do?contentId=27599

I do not know if this was published verbatim in the Indian edition.

When I read this initially, I was surprised to see NYC on the top. I think that politeness is interpreted in different ways by different cultures. What this study did was commonalize it to holding doors open, picking up dropped papers, and saying thanks to the customer for his/her service. But one thing to be noted which makes a significant point is the NYC study was conducted in Starbucks!!! Which does not comprise of the common populace or which can not be compared to the general public in any other city around the world. This was not a statistically thought out study that included all the variables.

I do find the politeness here to be fake. Because most of the times, when someone on the street smiles at you, the smile fades away even before your eyes leave the person's face, or some one asks "How are you?" without even waiting for an answer. All they are looking for is "Fine, thanks."

Well, all I did after reading the article was chuckle at these so-called surveys.

"I did not know that you are really very CHEAP Indian. Oh... I am sorry; Most of Indians are very very CHEAP.
Anyways, what else you can expect from losers.
I am not sure however I am guessing that you are from Punjab.
Do you know most of Punjabi Indians in states talk and dance like GAY or they are GAY.
One request to u all Punjabi, pleaseeeeeeeeeee get rid of that stupid looking turban from your head. Unknowingly you are hurting feelings of Most of the americans.And It's not cool also..."

What crap is this? He calls himself polite!

Jignesh Bhai,

When brains were distributed you were the last in line.

Sameer nice post. Had a good laugh.

Esther

Esther : Ha Ha Ha…Hey, Was it suppose to be funny? I think you need to work on your sense of humor little bit. If I were you I would see movies of Vince Vaughn/ Jon Favreau/ Will Ferrell/ben stiller/ Own Wilson /Steve Carell’s comedy movies or any series of seinfield / curb your enthuasim to improve sense of humor. One more thing, I am fine with Jignesh Only. If you think It is too long name, try JD.Thank you very much.

Jignesh wrote: "Was it suppose to be funny? ">>>

Dude, it should be "Was it supposed to be funny?" I guess in addition to etiquettes, you also need to work hard on your grammar & accent (I can almost hear your thick, Gujju accent Jignes-bhai!). Don't show off your half-knowledge of Hollywood.

Peter :What should I call you? Peter or anon or waylay or ravi or ah*le or inno.victim or yogi or BS or Bia*ch etc etc. BTW ,I do not have any knowledge of Hollywood. And I do not care about Hollywood.Being Registered republican, I am not big fan of Hollywood.

Jignesh wrote: "Being Registered republican, I am not big fan of Hollywood.">>>>

This should be,"Being a registered Republican, I am not a big fan of Hollywood."

See, I told you to work on your basics first! Buy a grammar book first.

Eh, arent you all supposed to be talking about the blog entry instead of continously swearing and cussing at each other? i mean .. there are heaps of places you can do that.. leave Rahul's blog out of it.

Another thing, i can understand why everyone retaliates so much about what Rahul said. I have been brought up in 2 different continents.. and I have been brought to believe that we are all same and we shouldnt judge others on their colour/race/religion. I can understand where certain pple who raised their retaliation here are coming from ... n it saddens me. I hope for their own sake they will learn to see pple for their character and not their skin colour or accents.

Take it easy Mr Bose,

Eh, arent you all supposed to be talking about the blog entry instead of continously having a go at each other? i mean .. there are heaps of places you can do that.. leave Rahul's blog out of it.

Another thing, i can understand why everyone retaliates so much about what Rahul said. I have been brought up in 2 different continents.. and I have been brought to believe that we are all same and we shouldnt judge others on their colour/race/religion. I can understand where certain pple who raised their retaliation here are coming from ... n it saddens me. I hope for their own sake they will learn to see pple for their character and not their skin colour or accents.

Take it easy Mr Bose,

That Jignesh dude is the typical type of confused desi I have encountered in my nine years in the U.S., five years in the U.K and a half dozen years in India and the Middle East.

I feel bad for him though - he probably studied in a Gujarati medium school till he was twelve and then made the move to some randomn suburb in Mid-West America where his entire family went to work in a Dunkin Donuts. He then proceeded to graduate high school and try his hand at college by going to East BumbleFuck Community College where he received an Associates in Business Management because he thought it sounded cool. After all that, he wasn't able to get a job in the real world because hecame off as being a typical ABCD who dresses likes he all "gansta-like" but would probably pee in his pants if he ever came across a real gangster or even your everyday street hobo!

In the end. he's back at the Dunkin Donuts, waiting for his father to find him a nice Gujju girl so that he can actually loose his virginity with someone else other than the ten dollar hooker he met in A.C. He also likes spending his time after work surfing the internet for cheap Indian porn and going to decent blogs like this to diss people who have lives that are far better than his.

The best part is, the whole time he's thinking Americans want him to be here!

Kudos to you Jignesh! You're the first and only - truly Indian American Loser!

P.S: You don't by any chance have a sister named Jigisa, do you?

Hi AnObserver,
I hate to reveal about myself .However you already started talking about me .Let me tell you something about me.
I am Gujarati and you were right about it .But that’s it. I don’t like gujjus also, they are very very cheap and money minded. Navaratri or Dandia or whatever they call is totally gay.
BTW, I live in 90210 zip code . And I live by myself I don’t have family. I have good enough education and IT Job to pay my rent, bills and my luxury car payments etc.
One more thing I don’t even date desi girls, so looking for ‘Gujju/Indian girl(s)’ is out of the question.

Hi All

Let's all steer away for somtime from Mr.Jinesh's comments and comments on Jinesh's comments.....and come back to Rahul's blog. I agree with the general view that politeness is relative and a subjective virtue depending on the place where you are and the circumstances you are in.

In a wider perspective, every cosmopolitan city is inherently made up of polite people as it is the very politeness and tolerance which allows the city to take its cosmopolitan character. But the parameteres are different everywhere. Mumbaiites may not hold the doors open for you but trusting a stranger here in normal day to day life is much more easy.. i have myself landed in new places all by myself just by asking around for directions from complete stangers...mumbaiites should just ignore the readers digest review and behave just the way they are..it adds a different colour to the world and its social fabric

Cheers

Deepa Bahal

I have changed 12 schools and have lived in different cities of North and western India courtesy my dad's transferable job, and I was very surprised when I read about the findings of RD ,as I have known Maharashtra leave aside Mumbai, Maharashtra as a whole as a very socially awakened society, this is where u will find maximum helpage India volunteers, I remember doing khari kamai for helping the old and destitude as a part of my school activities, I remember when we left Ambernath ( 60 Km from mumbai) we needed some kind of NOC and the good next door neighbour Mr. Kherkar , took the pains of getting those papers for us and mailing , it to us, I have never came across such wramth anywhere else.

Ispita

Isn't it interesting to note that you comment on Bombay as an insider but for the rest of the world you realize you are brown? How about we hear a white, oriental or even a black man's take on Bombay along with NYC, Montreal, Paris? Everything you've accused the other cities of, Bombay has the same by 10x. Infact it has some extra flavor, namely eve-teasing and the perpetual fear of being robbed.

i really don't think it's true what people say about gujju community. infact in US among all the indian communities, gujju community is one of the largest and richest. i don't think anybody should call anyone cheap. there is nobody cheap in this world. eveyone gets what they could afford.i have seen gujju's owning billions of dollar property. so don't set your thought for whole community just because of one person.and working in dunkin donut is not a bad thing. over 50 million works in restaurants in US they are just some of them. atleast they don't come 2 your doors and beg u for there food.and last thing guys and gals we r not here for grammer test.i am gujju and proud to be gujju.and yes my parents did come 2 US and worked hard in the gas station and now they own 20 stores of their own and i am proud of them.and no i am not taking jignesh side. he is being rude and that's truth. rahul u are what brought me here, don't set your thoughts just because of few idiots u camr across.

also, jignesh if u really hate gujju's that much , why don't u change your name first?u can do that legally, so u will be off from all the gujju/indian connection.and i am sure u have been in that dandiya dance atleast once in your life.there is nothing in that u would call it gay.if u can't respect something don't disrespect it.stop being nasty to other religion and casts.u have no right to talk to them people like that.and last thing get your self a gallon of white paint and paint your self.or black your choice.

Hi Jignesh,
was juz goin thru the comments on d blog and i must say,dun tk me wrong,u r quite aggressive why dun you think twice before you comment and here the issue was about cities and u dragged religions and communities in it
juz an advice
think bout it
hope dat u give a polite reply
Niti

Hi!
When it comes to judging a city i would like to throw light on the fact that a city is not made on its own it's made by the people living in that city and if u have a bitter experience with one of the person then u can't generalize the statement that "world's rudest city is....".
At the same time i quite understand the situation in newyork of which u were the victim.A person who wished to enjoy 2000x-mas eve in newyork was rather made familiar to the so called "rudest city"systems where he is not treated for 48hrs and on the top of it robbed by a bangladeshi doctor i would call it a true 'sportsman spirit'.
when it comes to judge bombay as a city i just love it.it's rightly called the 'maayavai nagari'where a person is completely enchanted upon by the magic of the city.i agree with u that people in bombay come to your help when you are in need even at 2:30am.recent train blasts and devasting floods of 2005 are live examples where helpful and generous characteristics of nature of a mumbaikar becomes more significant.

i still consider myself a bombayite though its been 11yrs we've left bombay and saying in baroda.i'm always ready to come to bombay and these lines are always on my lips "bombay is bombay and no city can compete with it"

though people say that indians have no manners and are rude also people in US are extremely polite and indians must learn from them but rahul, your experience proves this notion wrong and now we can proudly say that indians are not only competing with the US in technology but is now having a neck to neck fight in manners and politeness.

i've been learning french and its my perception that french are extremely polite and 'politesse' is a main feature of their tradition but we indians must also not lag behind.let us praise our country proudly,loudly!!

lots of love
maithilee

hi jignesh,
i read your blog dated 7 july 20006.i know that its too late to comment but 'better late than never'.
being a gujarati you critisized gujaratis like hell.even i'm a gujarati and i'm proud to be a gujarati.i wud like u to tell that if u can't appreciate ur own culture and tradition then please atleast don't criticize it.be proud and content of whatever u are.

Dear Rahul

Interesting post! I find it funny that someone did a survey about the 'politeness' of a city, when we all know the meaning would differ based on the place and the culture.

for an Indian(well most of the indians), India, with all its -ves and +ves, would always be the warmest country in the world 'coz Like one of the comments says, 'we know the system here'.
but I won't be surprised if we are looked down upon by others as the rude ones. yes, the gauge is faulty, but then again being honest is also a part of bing polite.

I am proud to be a young, brown indian on a foreign land,but it is embarrassing to see my own countrymen throw litter on the street, barge into others' personal spaces, return a much used boombox,TV,dress(I've seen a well-educated,high earning senior executive return a crutch after a month!) etc when they no more need it simply 'coz the mall had a 1-month-return-if-not-happy policy!
I don't expect much politeness from a dhudhwala in India or from someone I know never had a chance to go to school in India. then is it fair that we expect the same from someone in a foreign country when we can clearly see they too never had a chance to learn the finer things in life?(ex quoted by you: the starbucks girl, the cabdriver, the subway guy - you see they are either high schoolers or haven't had a chance)
Racism is there I agree, but is it also not true that the image of us is tarnished 'coz many of us when we move abroad do not bother about creating a better image. Have you seen the crossover movies that we make? They are funny yes, they must be making money, but do they show what needs be shown to change our image?

yes, people in India/Mumbai care. For 'us' they do. for someone with 'white skin', they are more focussed on charging 3-4 times of what you and I would pay.(And you think they are 'polite' when they haggle with our so called guests???)
For me being polite means not making someone uncomfortable(intentionally), not mistaking your privileges for your rights,letting others be, keeping out of others' personal space, respecting others' cultures as we do ours and if need be, adapting ourselves to not cause humiliation to others.

They don't wear sari when they visit our temples, we don't eat chapati with fork:)!
So much for being polite:D

Whoa just a minute!!!!!
Rudest City?!?

Ever hear of the City of Angels aka LA ???

We're all Angels here - fallen or otherwise. If you're pissed because some snotty assed Brit said fake "elloww" to u just wait till ya get to Los Angeles!!!!!!!! Nothing fake here.........just certain parts of the anatomy - what! I mean't hair, awright??? Get your mind out of the gutters!! Men!!!

But no, we're not fake whatever else we are. If we don't feel up to it - if we missed our fix of Latte or Weed that morning - as the case may be - we'll just look right through you and cross the street to avoid you. How's that for NOT BEING SUPERFICIAL. Like it, huh?
Of course we'll quickly change our mind and dazzle you with our pearly whites when we see you walk up to your fancy car!!! What girl can resist the purr of a horse power engine under the hood?

As for Mumbai - lucky, one doesn't understand the insult hurled at them in the vernacular half the time (It's not even HINDI!!!)..........which works fine for me!!! All I have to do is shake it off with a "right back at ya"..... and walk away . Honestly, who has the time???

PS: My heart goes out to u for your New Years' eve misery....... HOWEVER, it WAS New Years' Eve!!!!!!! ...what did u expect? Good thing Bangladeshi Doc needed the money more than the others.........Sorry Darling, I do feel your pain......been there!!