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Gotham Chopra - October 18, 2006

While my sister is suffering from the thought of separation anxiety in preparation of her and her husband's first vacation in 10 years sans children, I am suffering from plain old anxiety.

The off-shoot of being such a close family is that it is not just expected that I will be in part responsible for the wellbeing of her two young daughters, it's understood. And not just by her and her husband, but me myself.

In our family, Mallika's children are like my own. I was there for both their births, all the birthdays, holidays, first days of schools - in fact - I am there EVERY day - usually for at least one meal or some playtime of nothing else.

But THEY are always there as well - Mallika and her husband - and that's very conforting. The prospect of them not being there to take over when the tantrums start, when the kids need discipline, are hungry, need changing, won't sleep, or when football is on is daunting to say the least. Now what?

The reserves are being activated for the next week in full force. My mom is moving in. My wife is possibly moving over. My dad is returning from a book tour and other assorted specialists are being flown in etc. And yet, there's still a pervasive state of anxiety that disaster is afoot.

There's a deeper issue here, one that Mallika blogs about regularly - raising children is no easy task. I assume it's never been in any climate but these days things seem more chaotic than ever. Globalization's dark side is more apparent and seemingly immediate than ever before. The sleeper cells we're told are all around. Schools have no funding because all the $$$$ is going toward not supplying the US military as they fight endless wars in pursuit of endless peace (how's that for an overt simplification of the state of the world).

For the last few months, I have been obsessed with my own investment in the globalized economy, building my company and trying to think through potential IPO's, buy-outs, etc. But now - as I look at the next week - and reflect for a minute about what it means to raise children, to navigate their priorities instead of my own, I find myself a bit intimidated.

I know I am dramatizing things too much. It's only a week and even I can go a week without sleep. Maybe it's not anxiety. Maybe it's excitement. Let's see. Right - the title of this blog. In hindi, Mamu is what kids call their mom's brother - me. But my sis' kids always mis-pronounce it as Mamo. And well what they say, in our house anyway, is what goes!

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Posted by Gotham Chopra at October 18, 2006 08:39 AM

Comments

Lol Gotham, you are probably only teasing your sister and love it to have her kids to yourself :)

It is great for the kids to be spoiled for a week by their uncle and aunt and by their grandparents. It will not hurt them :)

Have fun.

1. Posted by mieke on October 18, 2006 12:18 PM

Gautham, you will probably have more fun than the girls!! I can see you spoiling them with loving attention, giving into their slightest whims... your family is a blessed family; for having been so closely-knit. Take them Christmas shopping for Mom and Dad! : )

Have a good time, Unca Gautham and Auntie Candace!!

with loving kindness,
North

2. Posted by North on October 18, 2006 02:04 PM

Admittedly, Gotham Mamo and Candi Mami are the best. And, knowing they are around allay my fears.
That side, I smile when I think about how they really have no idea what it means to be with two kids 24/7! Good luck!!

3. Posted by MallikaChopra on October 18, 2006 03:56 PM

Gotham,

When can we expect you to talk about your own little ones? :)!

Cheers!

4. Posted by Ron Saywack on October 18, 2006 04:34 PM

Good point Mallika!! 24/7 is a whole lotta difference too... what an adventure it will be for everyone!!

5. Posted by North on October 18, 2006 06:19 PM

This reminds me of what my wife told me yesterday about American kids. Being a nursery school teacher, she just joined the American school. Though one keeps reading off and on about American Children being brats, she used the word "Politely rude" for 2-3 year olds.

I suffered from insomnia for 15 years before it was cured permanantly by Vipasana Meditation. I would not fool around with my sleep even for a day if I were you.

6. Posted by Hiren on October 18, 2006 07:42 PM

Sorry but forgot to mention one thing. "Mamo" in Gujarati means "useless character" though gujjus address mama as mama.

7. Posted by Hiren on October 18, 2006 07:45 PM

Let's get hysterically laughing!!

OK< being a sib of five that I am, and being second youngest; we was poor, yup; and had NO TV until way older; soO, being as Mom wouldn't let us pound the pots and pans(unless they were worn out) to make music, or if it were late....here's a game we played, when it was an everything else is failing to raise laughter....moment.

Sit in a circle. This is a game of dare!

Now, you dare each other to NOT laugh, smirk, giggle or MOVE!(ONLY the eyes can move)

Bet, ya's can't last more than a min, without laughing hysterically!

8. Posted by North on October 18, 2006 08:32 PM

Gotham: no better way to know than to really get to know hands on! Good luck - based on little I know, kids can actually be very enlightening. They notice the extraordinary of our ordinary and help us appreciate little things in our daily existence.

9. Posted by jasleen on October 18, 2006 11:03 PM

My brothers and I and my mom and dad all live within 15 minutes of each other. We see or talk to each other daily. Nothing beats this stuff.
Screw the rest of it. You're going to have a great time. The key to survival is spending the first two minutes of the morning tucked into bed with them whispering good morning. That should set the tone. If that doesnt work.... chocolate and candy is the answer.

10. Posted by maria luisa on October 19, 2006 06:12 AM

Kids are sponges!

From my experiences and observations, kids "feel" the atmosphere and people in. Put them in a positive environment and they feel it, they recognize it and wonderfully react to it.

Gotham, I am uncle too. My sister has a beautiful girl of 11 years old, now. I have a story for you. When she had around 6 years old...

I got one day the idea to meet her, my niece... Never never got the idea to get out with her but today... fresh wind pop my head.

I call her... Surprise Amélie, uncle Jean-Jean!!! What do you do today? You want to pass the afternoon with your uncle, sweety?

Little steps running on the phone... an exclamation of my sister... steps running back! Jean-Jean what will do? You like fruits? ya!?!? Jean-Jean will show you a place where we could found them in the nature... We can eat them???? Yes, sure dulce!

And there we are, together... nervous. I look at my sister... Don't worry... where she is I will be too... my sister: Hold her hand... she is quick like a bee.

Walking our way to the mystery... on the road, we saw flowers, yellow, red even one blue. WOW the blue was really precious. Can I take her Jean-Jean, it's for mom?

After a 30 minutes walk, taking flowers, eating strawberries... we reach my favorite library, inside there is a beautiful cafe. Are you hungry Amélie? No, not that much ! No!

Jean-Jean wants to show you something beautiful, a place with a lot of beatiful drawings. You like that, no? A LOT, YEAH!

Smell the place, smell good hey!?!? Let's go up stairs, let's take a table to drink a very good hot cafe... Jean-Jean noooo I do not drink that, only mama do, ooohh! yes sure... You want a beer? uncle nooooooo no, it's for adult, not for the kids... oohhh! yes sure you right perdon... Can I have a hot chocolat???... what a good idea, yes sure sweety, very good idea!

Face to face with our hot chocolat, jazzy music playing... I told her: here it is a place that uncle like very much. I like to read books and relax here. What is your favorite animal? hmmmm.. Dinosaurs!! Oh! Come with me!

Down stairs we pick up 3 books of animals... 2 of dinosaurs and one of horses because she forgot that she loves a lot horses too.

Sit at the edge of her chair, excited we look all the images, each image interrupted by a question or an observation. How big do you think is this dinosaur? Like you Jean-Jean, big like you!!! (thinking, I have problem to reach 5'6, how can I tell her that I am not that tall, hehe).

Look by the window outside, you see? yes! People walking are little... Dinosaurs see people as little as that because they are really tall! Taller than you uncle!?!? yes my love, taller than any humans. Making big circles with her arms and with a strong and energitic voice; "They are big like that, big like that"... some people around listenning the story... we all start to laugh... Yes baby, as big as that!

Uncle, I love you!

They simply "sponge" the best of you!

11. Posted by Jean-Francois on October 19, 2006 03:18 PM

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