This is the best way to deal with any emotional wound. You are sweet & mature.

mmmm! Beautiful Poem!

Nice to know you!

Cheers, Rohit

Cool. You are in the process.

You have the right attitude.

Forgiveness is between you and your Maker, it's true.
Our demons are simply masks over the issues that will bring us wisdom.

You already know all this. There's no need for me to try to add anything to what you have said.

Stay true to your heart.

I don't think God has any idea you have to "be better."
Maybe you don't have to forgive yourself, just drop the self-judgment. You're fine just as you are.

There's nothing wrong with you. Each of us has our issues, even if we bury them with unconscious denial.

That you have decided to bring them into the light of consciousness is a very good thing.

Cheers and Blessings

Kristin: Thanks for sharing in such a graceful, gentle way, with as little "I"-ness as you can put into it. Your realization of the misunderstanding - "the misunderstanding that causes me to forget that the same God that is within me is within you and all the suffering that comes because I have forgotten" - is indeed beautiful to witness, and a great reminder for me personally.

NamasteBreeze: is be a very appropriate name for your presence.

Blessings.

Kristin,

You have courage to spare, brave girl!
If my daughter would have had to go through such an ordeal,
I don't know that I could or would forgive the man or God
for letting a child be scarred for life.
Benevolent? It's All good? Loving, caring Father?
Divine Mother, why did you not intervene?
Why put The Fall of Man on display if not to chastise and
ridicule your very own creatures?

Man is a sorry lot and God is "way out there" being
amused that His Plan ended up with a few quirks!
Low-life scumbags who choose to impose pain, suffering
and horrible memories on little innocents should forever be
seperated from any contact with society whatsoever!
Let'em rot in Hell and be stricken from The Book of Life.

I wish we could eradicate negative memories...somehow.
Some way besides dying would be nice.

The concept of re-incarnation is still a mystery to me.
I'm open to entertaining ideas and looking for evidence
to support such a notion, but I'm not yet convinced.
I'm currently reading a book by Brian Weiss.
I can comprehend the way this is supposed to work.

Why would anyone choose such a life of childhood innocence lost?
Why would anyone come back to perpetrate an act like this?
And God is in on this? "IT" helped plan and co-ordinate
this ugly, beastly eventuality?

I forgive you if you can't explain it to me, either.
Please forgive my sorry mood after reading your testimony.
You have done well forgiving your step-father.
Has Karma had it's way with him since this happened?
If it's true, "Revenge is mine!", sayeth the Lord...
then He wasn't in on the plan.
If He was, He must take revenge on Himself like a masochist!
Unless, of course, His right hand doesn't know what the left is doing.

Job took the high ground with his frustration,
a one-up-man-ship towards God Himself.
So He came here as Jesus and made his mountain taller,
as if not to be outdone.
But Man "got the joke",
and the lessons didn't take!
Now we await His return for glory to be restored.

What a bunch of malarchy!!!
If it's All illusion, that makes it a bit easier to swallow.
Unless, of course, I choose to bury my head in the sand!

I see I have some anger issues to deal with.
This is not my normal Sunday sermon.
What happened? I'd appreciate any help anyone
can give me and I promise not to disrespect your beliefs. Keith~

Dear Kristin,

I admire you so much for your courage. This is probably the most beautiful Weekly Intent I have ever read. Of course I am crying.

I know we are all in this together -- our pain and hurts weave an invisible veil which separates us from others. And pain, as you described, is also our saving grace when it leads to the remembrance of our light within. The fastest way to find this light is forgiveness. This has been my experience as well.

My own self-righteousness for past hurts has brought me more pain than the hurt itself. I cried myself to sleep every night for -- at least -- 5 years when in my early twenties I allowed myself to acknowledge the pain I had suffered in childhood. Until then I had simply been numb. (Although I did not experienced sexual abuse, the lack of a loving father in my life caused me untold agony.)

The light at the end the tunnel came from my awareness and my intentions to understand and forgive.

I have repeated the same mistake many times: I have waited too long to let go of my perceptions of how others were supposed to be. Only my spiritual understanding has healed everything, so I can enjoy my life to the fullest.

I loved your poem.

A hug to you.
Love,
Donatella

Dear Kristin,

Your post reminded me of a very dear person -- whom I met years ago -- the late Cardinal Bernardin. A good and righteous man, he was falsely accused of molesting a man. The man had declared that the Roman Catholic Cardinal had sexually assaulted him when he was a seminarian. The Cardinal publicly forgave his accuser and only had words of love for him. Later the man recanted and admitted that he had lied just before he died of Aids. He and Cardinal Bernardin met for a final reconciliation.

In my view, the Cardinal was a rare example of Christian charity and forgiveness.
Again, you have my admiration for your good heart.

Love,
Donatella

Hello Kristin and Everyone,

Kristin, if I were to capture the essence of your writings, here, at IB, I would have to say that there is such a delicateness about it. Now, I know, to have come through such a difficult experience you would also have to have the hardness to perservere through it, so the delicateness, I presume, is the little Kristin you have saved from extinction, I think, the fact that this little Kristin is alive and well and so present in your life and writings is proof positive that forgiveness lives in you.

peace ruth

Aloha Kristen

There is a wonderful book by Sondra Ray called I Deserve Love. It is a book of affirmations. In Sondra Ray’s book there is an exercise where she has you visualize yourself making love to your parent. I found it very healing. I found a portal opening where I was moved beyond form. Mahalo for sharing, as we are learning the love that forgives is the love that connects with eternity as it asks for nothing. And we are no Know thing, Love patty

WHAT SANT SADHU RAM SAYS

Where comes anger
Doom follows

Where comes greed
Sin follows

Where comes forgiveness
He himself manifests

***

Jidhar Aa Gaya Krodh,
udhar aa gaya Kal,

Jidhar Aa Gaya Lobh,
udhar aa gaya Pap,

Jidhar Aa Gayi Shama,
udhar aa gaya Aap!

Dear Kristin,

Thank you for sharing this story with us. Although what happened in your childhood is really terrible and I wish someone could have stopped it from happening, it’s really inspiring to hear that you are on you way to heal those experiences. Your stepfather must have had some serious issues and he must have been carrying a lot of pain. I was shocked to read somewhere that child abusers were often the victims of abuse themselves when they were children.

It’s inspiring to know that thanks to your courage and commitment to heal yourself, you won’t pass this pain on in any form to anyone else. It’s also good to know that you find it easier to forgive him, it must feel very healing for you to be able to do that.

At the moment there are a lot of conflicts in my family. Some of these conflicts are the results of things that happened many years ago. It’s so sad for me to see that I have relatives that do not have the desire to be compassionate and forgiving. Luckily I am not responsible for any of these conflicts but it hurts me to see people that I love being in conflict with each other and I hope that these conflicts won’t affect future generations.

If more people could be as compassionate and forgiving as you, the world would be a better place.

Take care,

Lars

I forgot to tell you I think your poem is moving and beautiful.

Namaste,

Dear Kristin,

That is a great storey about your expereinces with forgiveness and also how you have dealt with unhappy events in your life, probably the most appealing weekly Intent so far on here.

I would go one step further than forgiveness and say the word Acceptance, Forgiveness and Acceptance are each of them a part of this process of surrender, it is hard to Accept certain things in this world in this enviroment of ours it is not always easy to forgive the world for what it has supposed to have done to you but through surrender you can Accept all things as the experience of the divine life.

I myself was sexually abused when I was a boy and I feel absoloutly nothing about it, it has no negative effect on me what so ever and I have seen the person who abused me many times since and spoken with them and conversed with them and I totaly forgive them for the thing they did.

Sexually abusing a young person is wrong and it is quite sickening to even comprehend but for me I just consider what happened to me as an experience, it is something I have dealt with like so many other things in my life and I am a stronger and wiser person because of all of the things that have happened to me in my life even the bad stuff.

Acceptance is the road to great understanding.

Dear Kristin,

Thank you for sharing your experience so openly and candidly with us. We have learned from it and it is totally okay to let it all go, as the saying goes - forgive and forget.

You are loved always. I also love your poem and the picture in the background is breaktaking! I love the sea...

PS - Keith, I always love your posts - you have a way of expressing yourself just perfectly.

Best regards,
M:)

Dearest beautiful Kristin... tears for the misunderstanding. Yes, I know. But the misunderstanding itself is in the script, too. Isn't it? :)

Dear Kristin,

Courageous post, courageous poem.
Proves to me you have found peace within and that´s what it is all about. And as Simon says, acceptance accompanies forgiveness.
And after that comes gratitude you see,
cause all good things manifest themselves in three :).

Love,

Dear All,
Thank you to everyone for the sweet and thoughtful replies. I really appreciate being able to share with each of you and also very much appreciate hearing back from you as well.

Dear Simon,
Good point regarding acceptance. I agree that acceptance is key. I want to say acceptance is bliss, and I think that there is a way in which it truly is. Things are as they are. Why worry or fight them? We do our best and then surrender to the Divine.

Dear DK,
Thank you. And I wanted to say that there is no need to apologize. It's taken for granted that we are all on the path. I always appreciate both the information you pass along and the kindness with which you do it.

Dear Yogi-One,
Yes, I suspect I am fine just the way I am. And yet I appreciate the reminder from you because somehow it brings me closer to accepting (hey, Simon) the truth of it.

Dear Keith,
I think what you are seeking an explanation for is something that can't be explained or done any justice by words, but can only be experienced within the deepest silence of our being. Frustration and anger are part of the experience here too and I think it's important to be honest about that and so thank you for your honesty. And yet, I have to ask myself, what is it that I want to hold my allegiance too? What is it that I want to most identify with? When all is said and done, who am I? Who am I beneath name and form?

Dear Aurora,
The misunderstanding is in the script? ... Well, I think that the misunderstanding is on it's way out. For myself. For us all. And this is what will save our beautiful, mixed up world.

Rohit, sWORDSman, Donatella, Ruth, Patty, Ravi Kopra, Lars, MarthaD, Mieke - thank you! :)

Love, Kristin

Kristen,

Men always need something to fix, even broken dreams.

I can accept that evolution has stopped short of the goal.

I say we need patience badly to accept the fact "waiting" presents.

Time, that Master of Patience, makes a lot of spaces

between moments to give of Itself for healing.

Eventually, 10,000 years later, what will it matter anyway?

That notion allows me to take things less seriously.

I'm better now, thank you!

.

P.S. MarthaD, thanks for the nod! Write more often.

Dear Kristen,

Such lovely words and it's so true about forgiveness. I too believe 'there is nothing to forgive' but also know from experience that memory is recorded in our very cells. From this, our growth and experiences are created. To heal in this life, we need to release painful memories from our cellular memory held in our bodies. Intention and writing and expression are all ways we can do this.

It's quite interesting that you look just like a woman in a series of videos I'm viewing in a course for inner child healing. The work is by John Bradshaw who wrote "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child". Through it I've learned that even though your adult self forgives and that is such a beautiful thing, the child self still needs to be heard. Not that you need to direct anything at the perpetrator and blame in order to heal, but that little voice to be heard and reclaimed by your adult self is so important because when we suffer trauma whilst our brain is developing, vital links about emotion and reaction are broken. I feel you wanting to meet and hug your step-father is you wanting to reclaim that and love and forgive yourself as you mention. Not insane to me at all, but so very humane.

I honour you in your walk.

Namaste :)

Dear Kristin,

forgiving yourself for not being better at remembering, for the misunderstanding, comes from seeing that not even the misunderstanding was bad.

The whole struggle was beautiful, it was meant to be and it was completely imagined. There was never any danger, except in the mind, there is nothing to be saved from, because it is all love, it is right here and has always been.

The part of you that judges you for not always remembering the truth is ... still dreaming. Allow it, love it, embrace it. There's nothing wrong with dreaming. You are not only the dream, you are the dreamer and the one who watches it all.

Dear Tanya,
I think we do hold traumatic memories in our bodies. Emotions become trapped and block the flow of energy. Sometimes all we need is some sort of physical release, like pressing the correct button. Meditation helps to release the blockages. I've also become interested in kundalini yoga which I find to be effective and fascinating. My challenge these days has been that I tend to avoid what I most need - and right now my physical body needs attention. Movement and breath and attention and meditation can release the blockages. Fascinating how quiet the mind becomes when the blockages are let go.

Dear Aurora,
I know what you're saying, but I just can't get there. Of course you are correct on one level, but at least at this point that's not how I want to live my life. I want to help those who are suffering and I believe that greater awareness on my part is the way to do that, and yet I also need to be grounded in every day reality. And in every day reality, there is suffering.

Love, Kristin

Very inspiring story/Intent,
Kristen, great,

anyhow,
'Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child..'
ah..

I knew I wasn't the only one..;)
Louise Hay, my all time favorite,

for all the crap, other people dump,
on your,

Love, Passion,

Kristin, isn't that the beauty of it? Live exactly the way you want to live, live fully, that's all you need to do. All roads lead to Rome anyway... and in Rome, there's no suffeling :)

Solly for misspelling :)))

Hello again,
I wanted to say again that I feel grateful that I had this opportunity to write this weekly intent. I started out wanting to share a litany for forgiveness that I have used in the past and think is really great (and effective), but then, this seemed more appropriate for right now and somehow it's been clarifying and healing for me. You know, there are some things that you share with others and some things that normally just aren't said (unless you're with a counselor or some sort of professional) and I think that's part of the trouble.

I felt strange about my desire to hug my stepfather and I have had people tell me that I don't really want to do that. And perhaps I never will. Perhaps it is just an internal process, a coming to realize once again that forgiveness is really for myself. But I suspect that (depending upon the situation) I would hug him. Why not? I loved him. It wouldn't be saying that his behavior had been okay. It's just that, as with everyone else, I don't want him to suffer. I want happiness for him just as I want happiness for others. When one of us suffers we all suffer. We can't heal if we only include part of humanity.

Love, Kristin

Dear Kristin

Thank you for a beautiful piece. A hug of love to you.

love, Heath

Sure, Aurora. There is beauty in following our own path. That's what makes life interesting. And also a bit scary at times. (for me anyhow!)

Thanks for being such a bright light. :)

Love, Kristin

Dear Kristin!

You are a beautiful example of what is a powerful woman. A lot of people saying: "We need women to bring peace on this earth"... but me I say: NO... we need women with a powerful feminine personality. And presently there is not too much.

When a girl shine the way you do... A lot of things change around even without your knowledge. A woman heart, full of love, intelligence, sweet, strong... is highly highly beautiful and curative to others. An example for thousand.

I think I understand your poem when you say you want to put your mark on other whithout any form of possession. At a point, love wants to be connected with everything around.

I am really amazed to see how people can truly open themself and help others to feel human again!

I lot of love for you lady Kristin,
You are truly beautiful,
Jean

Sharon - A Forbidden Love

When I was Younger, I thought I knew,
All of life’s answers, and how to be true.
Of people and love I knew the ins and outs.
And in that ignorance, made decisions without doubts.

The decisions I made where not all wrong,
Indeed, most of them helped me along.
But all the answers, I did not know
And have made mistakes that surely show.

I walked along the pathway of life
Unaware of the coming pain and strife.
At one of life’s biggest hurdles, did I stumble
And ever since then, I have had to be humble.

Yet from that mistake emerged a bright light
Which I will honour, and, for always will fight.
Till now it was that light, that has sustained,
Any reason, for love and life to be maintained.

Then I was older, and You came along,
And breathed new life, like a beautiful song.
The emotions and feelings that I thought dead
Have awoken, and become stronger instead.

What is wrong, what is right and what can be shared?
These are the questions constantly in my head.
Of one thing I am sure,
My love for You is very pure.

I have listened to what society has taught
And to these things, everyday I give thought.
Yet we pass this way one time only,
And I don’t want to spend it being lonely.

When that light shines in it’s own direction,
And no longer needs my undivided affection,
Will I be standing alone and sad?
Or will You be there to make me happy and glad?

I know You will understand when I say,
That although the price may be high to pay,
You and I will find a way.

-Don M
(don@hit.co.za)

Thank you, Jean. Btw, I enjoyed looking at the photos on your website and listening to Eva Cassidy's song.

Don, thank you for sharing your poem. It reminds me of the longing to continue to open my heart.

Love, Kristin

Kristin,

You have great courage.

I remember reading that we all meet with pain and betrayal along our paths, and one way to deal with it is to become angry and bitter. The other way to deal with pain and betrayal is to remain with an open heart and not give up vulnerability and hope, to go forth with courage even the very next day. That is what i see you are doing, going forth with courage and love. Admirable.

Love,
Jori

Hi Jori,

I think each of us is going forth with courage and love. That reminds me of part of a poem by Hafiz.

"Hafiz, there is no one in this world
Who is not looking for God.

Everyone is trudging along
With as much dignity, courage
And style

As they possibly can." ~ Hafiz

Isn't that just so true?

Heather,
a hug for you too. :)

Love, Kristin

Dear Kristen,
The way to freedom is a winding journey through many experiences, and emotions. Isn't it, and how liberating to no longer be held hostage to the events and feelings, that could have damaged you forever. Blessings - for you have found something of great value, Yourself.

Forgiveness is powerful, even if you will never see your step-dad again. His actions were hurtful to you. Perhaps - he will find you one day, and ask for forgiveness. If not, still you have found what is most worthy - Yourself.

With love,
~ Kate

Dear Kristin, Shri Krishna says in Bhagavadgita,"vigour, forgiveness, fortitude, purity, absence of hatred, absence of pride, these belong to one born for a divine state."

Krishna also says,"Serenity, self restraint, austerity, purity, forgiveness, uprightness, knowledge, realisation, belief in a here after are characters of a Brahmana(one who has understood Brahman or God).

In the great epic Mahabharata it is written, "one should forgive any injury.It also says forgiveness is holiness.By forgiveness the universe is held together, forgiveness is the might of the mighty, it is sacrifice, it is quiet of the mind."

Great subject to ponder upon dear kristin. Thank you.

Dear Kristin, these are translations of Tamil(a language of south India) passages written by Tirukkural.

" Just as the earth bears the person who digs into her, so also a wise man is expected to bear insults done to him. Such forbearance is the chief virtue".

"It is good to put up with evil done to you. It is still better to forget it."

"Those who lose their patience at the person who has done evil to them and try to take revenge are not considered of any worth by the wise men. But those who patiently bear the evil are considered golden among men and their value is always remembered."

"He who punishes in return the evil-doer has satisfaction for the moment, but those who forgive the evil-doer have honour and glory till the end of the world."

Encouraged by a pride of wealth, if a person commits innumerable injury to you, you ought to conquer him by your forgiveness."

"A person though living a householder's life, if he maintains his patience while being insulted by fools and forgives them for their evil conduct, would be considered far greater than the noble ascetics who have renounced all."

Thank you again Kristin for a nice post. God bless.

Thank you Kate and Geeta. It's nice to hear from you both.

Love, Kristin

There is an old saying

To err is human....and to forgive divine.....

Kristin has chosen a very serious and emotional topic. Forgiveness is a feeling which needs to be felt....very difficult to express.....
What does it mean to forgive someone....or what does it mean when we say i have forgiven you??
Does it just mean that the grieved person will not gun for vengeance or does it mean that the grieved person has just detached his feelings from the incident. Time is the greatest healer.....over a period of time many sad happenings tend to lose their depressive effect on a person.

Forgiveness is something which ultimately helps the individual who is forgiving. Its all about accepting the fact that we all can make mistakes and lay around some shit. And we need to bear with peoples mistakes...shit happens..we need to comprehend the fact that all of us ultimately belong to the same scheme of probability which defines life.

It takes quite some time to realize that our own psyche would always be healthier without those tags of bad incidents which are there in everyone's life. The sooner we are able to make them hazy the better for us. Although the statement is easier said than done.

But yes i have felt forgivenss gives you strength and instills lots of confidence in you.

Knowing someone has wronged you and reaching a stage where it really does not matter to you is when you can be forgiving.

anyways....nice one kristin

thanks and regards

Amit

Forgivenness is always a process never a destination. To me, forgiveness is surrender...it is another name for the continuous letting go that is the ultimate path to freedom.

Love,
Scott.

Dear Scott,

Yes, it is that way for me too, forgiveness is a process. Interesting how you equate it to surrender. That fits for me as well and why it is so freeing. But yes, it comes in steps and at least for myself as soon as it seems I have "arrived" (for however brief a time) there is a new deeper level that emerges. Perhaps that is the process of life. A continuous opening and letting go until we have nothing else left to surrender.

Dear Amit,
I agree that forgiveness is for ourselves. :)

Love, Kristin

Hi Kristin,

Forgiveness is the only method to clean this earth of violence, terrorism, war.

Love
Rajesh Sharma