Some jokes collected over the years from major Private Banks, Hedge Funds, The World Bank, International Monetary Fund, World Trade Organisation, United Nations Development Agencies, and The World Economic Forum are worth sharing...

L William Sediman was the Chairman of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC). Some classic bankers' jokes are attributed to him:

On the Russian lending problem

“I went into one small bank and there were three or four of the tougher looking Russians sitting around with AK47s and I said, I know that crime is awful around here, but do you need to have a real army here to defend this small of a bank? They said, well, they are not here to defend the bank, those are the people who collect our loans.”

On the Japan banking problem

“A doctor calls up his patient and says, I have bad news for you and worse news for you. You have only 24 hours to live. The patient says, oh, that’s terrible. What could be worse news? The doctor says, I’ve been trying to get you since yesterday.”

On The World Bank’s blank cheque aids

“I was there for the World Bank and we had $2 billion to spend, and if you want to really be treated royally, just wander through Russia with $2 billion that you can provide them... I got so full of caviar that I couldn’t look at a fish egg again.”

On Japan’s stagnation

“They’ve been in a non-growth economy for many years now... if something like that was going on in this country [US], there would be a revolution. The fact of the matter is in Japan, the average Japanese citizen may be better off than he was seven years ago... since they have experienced deflation in effect, the average person in Japan is living as well or better than he did in the past. As a matter of fact, the crash in real estate prices has allowed lots of Japanese to now live somewhere closer to their work than a two-hour commute by train to Tokyo.”

Fast-track to become a World Bank Vice-President

A Conversation between a man with the initial W & his son.

W: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!"
W: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President! : "Ah, in that case...ok"

Heard at the Wharton School

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away.

"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."

On the difference between Mathematicians, Accountants and Economists

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

Heard at Shell long ago

"A planner is a gentle man,
with neither sword nor pistol.
He walks along most daintily,
because his balls are crystal."

Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents

"The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."

The Wedding Ring

"This professor was about to get married. He went to the jewelers to get a wedding ring for his fiancee. The jeweler told him that he can have the inside of the ring engraved with the name of his fiancee for an additional $20. He said, "But that will reduce the resale value!" The jeweler was aghast. He said, "How can you say such a thing. You are a butcher!" "No," replied the professor, "I am an economist"."

Predictive Modelling

Niels Bohr was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office. Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked, and he said, "Of course not!" But then why do you keep it? "Well," he said, "I have been told it works whether you believe in it or not."

Policy Analyst

Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.

Nobel Prizes

There is one joke opportunity in Robert Kuttner, The Poverty of Economics, The Atlantic Monthly, Feb 1985, page 79, which says: "George Stigler Nobel laureate and a leader of Chicago School was asked why there were no Nobel Prizes awarded in the other social sciences: sociology, psychology, history, etc. "Don't worry", Stigler said, "they have already have a Nobel Prize in ...Literature"

On Econometricians

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"

The Black Cat

"A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn't really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:

- The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spends one hour looking for the black cat that doesn't exist and shouts from inside the room that he has caught it by the neck!"

From "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams, Chapter 16:

Arthur awoke to the sound of argument and went to the bridge. Ford was waving his arms about. "You're crazy Zaphod," he was saying, "Magrathea is a myth a fairy story, it's what parents tell their kids about at night if they want them to grow up to be economists, it's..."

Reincarnation

From the preface to Paul Krugman's book, "Peddling Prosperity: Economic Sense and Nonsense in the Age of Diminished Expectations" (1994, page xi):

An Indian-born economist once explained his personal theory of reincarnation to his graduate economics class. "If you are a good economist, a virtuous economist," he said, "you are reborn as a physicist. But if you are an evil, wicked economist, you are reborn as a sociologist."

Evolutionary Economics

Heard at the workshop of evolutionary economists:

Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.

Economist poem -- Kenneth E Boulding

If you do some acrobatics
with a little mathematics
it will take you far along.
If your idea's not defensible
don't make it comprehensible
or folks will find you out,
and your work will draw attention
if you only fail to mention
what the whole thing is about.

Your must talk of GNP
and of elasticity
of rates of substitution
and undeterminate solution
and oligonopopsony.

The Cow and The Pig

A civil engineer, a chemist and an economist are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. "I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn," the innkeeper says. The civil engineer volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed. In a short time they're awakened by a knock. It's the engineer, who says, "There's a cow in that barn. I'm a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal." The chemist says that, OK, he'll sleep in the barn. The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock. It's the chemist who says, "There's a pig in that barn. I'm Jewish, and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal." So the economist is sent to the barn. It's getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep. But they're awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: It's the cow and the pig!

Albert Einstein and the Pearly Gates

When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders in the queue outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein. "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity". The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein. "I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand's nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace". The third New Zealander mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year?"

Light Bulb Jokes

Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

Q: How many environmental economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Eight - one to turn the lightbulb and seven to do the environmental impact study.

M1

It's not easy being an economist.
How would you like to go through life pretending you knew what M1 was all about?

Economics Professors and Coeds

An elderly economics professor is standing at the shallow end of the campus pool. A Coed is standing at the deep end taking pictures. She suddenly drops the camera into the pool. Then she motions for the professor to come to her. He goes and she asks him to retrieve the camera. He agrees and dives in and retrieve its.

Upon returning he says to her, "Why did you ask me to retrieve the camera when there were many younger and more athletic males closer to her?" She replied, "Professor you seem to forget that I'm in your Econ I class, and I don't know anyone who can go down deeper, stay down longer and come up drier than you."

[ENDS]

Do you have favourite jokes to share of a similar ilk?

With warm wishes to you and family


DK with family

DK Matai
The Philanthropia, ATCA, mi2g.net

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