The boy child will not be prevented from exploring his growing body and needs. When he comes of age, his father or perhaps some relative ,will probably encourage and initiate his first sexual encounter. “He’s a boy after all”‘ "What else do you expect from a boy with such raging hormones?’ They’ll laugh off his every act. Mistakes are part of the learning curve.

Girls on the other hand are taught nothing about the functioning of their bodies or about procreation, or their higher purpose. Many girls are not aware of their genitalia till the wedding night. Pleasure is still primarily a male domain.

Girls are told not to enter the kitchen or pooja room or mix with the rest of the family when they have their periods. It’s called a woman’s curse. Everything ‘down there’ is a secret, almost a sin. Mistakes a death knell.

All girls learn about sex is through the unwarranted attention their bodies get them from the male when they are growing up. Most often than not, they themselves place their worth on that perception, because they don’t know any better. Some spend their lives running away from it while others use it ruthlessly. Sexuality is after all a most powerful tool that some women through the centuries have used to their great advantage. Much like men have used knives and guns. Sexuality is as integral an aspect of being human as anything else, like spirituality.

But looks like the Government and the protestors are confusing the two issues. Sex education should not be confused with sexuality. It does not take away innocence; it laces it with information and knowledge and peppers it with power. Power towards right choice, towards right action and ultimately a more just and equitable world. Is it perhaps this very power that the world is afraid of?

I know a lady , now a grandmother, who till a few years ago, didn’t know she had something called a clitoris!! This after being married for over 50 years and producing 7 children and over 15 grand children. She fed her family, raised her children, got beaten by her husband, ill-treated by her in-laws and took it as all as her due.

My maternal grandfather was of the opinion that girls should not be educated beyond a point. After all what purpose did it serve? Education according to him made the girl child too smart for a man to handle and led to all sorts of problems in her married life. A girl had to be subservient after all… Education corrupted the chance of that.
Thank God my mother met and married my father, who not only supported her desire to educate herself, but stood firmly by her side while she went on to acquire her triple PhD’s in history and education. I feel proud to be a product of that.

I believe that knowledge, imparted with the right intention, towards growth and progress can never go awry. Forewarned is forearmed.

As a mother to a growing girl I’m constantly wondering how to go about it. Is she not too little to be told about the birds and the bees? What is the right age?

A few days ago, Kaveri solved my dilemma. I was concerned about my ten month old cocker spaniel cupcake-she seemed listless and tired, very unlike her usual frisky self. Wondering if I should take her to the vet, maybe she had a stomach upset?
“Mamma-there is nothing wrong with cupcake. She has got her first period” Kaveri told me excitedly. I was startled-how does my little seven year old know about periods? She said her cousin told her…
“Oh poor thing” I mumbled, stroking Cupcakes stomach tenderly
“Why poor thing mamma. It’s so exciting that she has got her periods. She can have babies now!”
“Poor thing because her stomach is probably paining and she is feeling tired and drained. It happens during periods”

Later that afternoon as we were out shopping in the mall, I explained to Kaveri that Cupcake was still too young to have babies. Just because she has got her first period does not mean she is mature enough to have a child. I told her that we would wait till she was at least four for that.

“So then Muffin (my 4 month old boy cocker spaniel) and Cupcake can get married and have babies?”

“Of course” I muttered relieved that I didn’t have to go into any more explanations “they can get married at 4”

“But dogs don’t have to marry Na? You can just close both of them in a room. Muffin will put his dhunni in cupcakes dhunni and they will make babies…”

“Who told you all that?” I have to confess my shock here

"mamma-promise we'll keep ALL the babies"

"you still havent told me where you learnt that?"

“Mamma –don’t look up” Kaveri muttered as we passed under a banner, trying to avoid answering my question “it’s a bad word!!”

I looked up to see a large F.C.U.K banner over our head. I told her that it was not a bad word, but the initials for a clothing company French Connection U.K. She let out a sigh of relief

“Mamma-because I know about periods and the F word does it mean I’m a bad girl and that I'm from a bad family? she suddenly looked afraid, the excitement of cupcakes puppies forgotten." Will daddy get angry?”

“No my jaan-your the best girl in the world. And why would daddy get angry? This only means that you are a clever girl from a well informed family. A family that is not afraid to discuss the truth”

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)