Dear Grace, yes, I think it is time for you to give up. Give up control. Of your feelings. I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I've felt you've been really unhappy for a while but have had a smile on top of it. So why not ask yourself what exactly is wrong? Accepting the situation is a must, but understanding it is also important. Many times in my life I've been trying to let go- but of the wrong thing. You need to get real with yourself about whatever it is that is causing this conflict in you. Helpful questions might be: who am I right now and what exactly do I want in my life? And what in myself is keeping me from it?

Aurora made a great suggestion...give up...let go.

What I have found in my own life is that I only expereince up and downs when I am attached to a particular outcome.

Detach yourself. See things happen, but realize that they are not happening to YOU.

Your pease is not subject to you doing anything. Your peace is knowing...without doubt....that everything is in divine order and perfect...even if that means you don't meet a deadline : )

Yes, sure Grace, I feel it. My computer is feeling it, too. If I disappear for a while, let's trust it will be the latter, but I must admit the one isn't helping the other, right now.

Hugs.

Grace, this phase is a great opportunity for you.
This phase has given you the opportunity to search for real you.
Go inside yourself, look for your soul, look for who is real Grace, what real Grace wants, what are the need of Real Grace, how would Grace feel self content, mix with nature, do lite exercises and meditation, connect with supreme power.

This is best phase in anybody's life.

Such phases allows you to connect with your own self.

Repair your inner body and soul during this phase by doing pranayam, meditation, yogic exercises.

Dear Grace,

I have mentioned the labyrinth as a walking meditation quite often in the past here on IB. I even made a 3D virtual labyrinth of peace on my computer based on some of Deepak Chopra's books and many people here have downloaded it.

I have donated it now to the Alliance for a New Humanity.

A few weeks ago I made a number of essays about the labyrinth and mentioned the link to my blog a few times, but no-one seemed interested. Now I have given my essays to Harb Singh, a regular blogger here and who's book Self Designed Universe I have translated into the Dutch language. He is going to make a book about it.

But I would like to give you hereunder a small example of how to use a labyrinth as a walking meditation. It has done wonders for me and that is the reason that I want to share it happily with you.

If you are not interested then it is okay with me too. Just want to help you if I possibly can :).

If you want to know exactly what a labyrinth is you can visit:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labyrinth

How to use the 7 path labyrinth as a walking meditation combined with Yoga exercise

Start by standing in front of the left or right entrance of the Labyrinth, with hand palms together before the chest, thumbs against the chest (the heart). For a few moments quietly breathe in and out and become aware of your breathing.

Wait until your first thought enters your mind and start walking. Watch your feet when you slowly walk step by step. At each turning point wait a few seconds and become aware of your breathing. Then walk on, carefully watching your feet.

You will notice that you sometimes are very close to the middle, sometimes far away.

After a while you enter the middle.

Stand again with hand palms together before the chest, thumbs against the heart. Become aware of your breathing. Breathe in and move your hands and arms above your head and stretch yourself. By slowly breathing out spread your arms in a wide circle around you until they hang alongside your body. Stand relaxed for a few moments and repeat the above exercise another two times. Give thanks for everything you receive.

Then slowly turn around and walk back from the middle. Just walk back in your own (relaxed) way towards the exit again. When arrived, turn around and give everything you experienced back to the labyrinth with gratitude.

When walking the labyrinth a few times in this way, you will notice your steps become lighter and lighter and even may end into a little dance. It is a very joyous and special feeling.

Labyrinths can be found all over the world and so also in your country.

In order to find one in your neighbourhood go to:

http://www.labyrinthsociety.org and click on the Worldwide labyrinth locator in the upper right corner.

Wish you strength and love, from the heartphone,

Mieke

Grace,

Cycles of Goddess. Cycles of emotion. Cycles of weather patterns. Knowing these seasons that turn the wheel is knowing nature...and knowing ourselve.

Think of dark clouds blocking sun. Think of lightning striking with fierce force. Think of wind pressing through push and pull. Think of sun's radiant joy. Think of unity through diversity.

As physical beings holding both matter and energy/earth and sun we learn to manage the flow of e-motions through consciousness. It's so freeing to say how we feel without shame. It's so freeing to know the water, air, earth and fire of emotional expression. As women let's claim them as our natural and wild nature.

Trish~~

Grace,

Yes, every day. Sometimes I think I want to cease to exist of course that is when I become totally liberated loosing all attachment to this world. I am speaking from my character finite perspective, not the infinite perspective. It is tough to try to live truth in a world of fiction. Especially when so many others are acting on fictions in their minds and all the worlds systems are designed based on great fictions.

We must first clear the fictions in our own minds and then we speak the words that clear the fictions in the minds of others.

Yes, the cycles and the unpleasantness there is no escape one must simply learn how to navigate them. Sometimes the unpleasantness (some truth not being embraced) is simply a blessing when it is not our own creation. If you do all you can do with what presents itself in the moment then you have fulfilled your obligation. The rest can be left to the infinite intelligence to take care of. So when you feel like giving up, let go, one is only giving up for the moment. Relax, touch base with nature, and new energy and impulse will come. Everything happens with perfect timing this is why things do not always happen when we want them to and many things happen to coordinate and orchestrate, that is why going with the flow is so important. Your finite mind may not have clue and will only result in a more turbulent path if it try to force things to conform to it’s expectations. However when you start to understand the infinite mind and divine intention you will better understand why things are happening and gain the gift of prophecy. When one aligns with divine intention the turbulence goes away not necessarily the challenges though.

So far everything has always worked out in my experience; I don’t suspect it will stop. If it doesn’t work out like one expects there is a reason that you may not understand till sometime in the future.

There is one thing standing in the way of paradise, prosperity and our evolution and that is ego impediments. That is why the people in Burma are not getting the food being sent, it is the cause of the worlds tribulation and conflict and lack of flow.

Everything happens perfectly, you may not understand it, go with the flow, and do not resist. Don’t be attached to outcome. Your finite self may not understand what it is really supposed to be; too many variables and factors to take into account by a linear consciousness. Finite intentions are blended with divine intentions to produce the best for all possible outcomes and experience.

Trust there is a benevolent all pervading intelligence working behind the scenes.

Don’t act on fear thoughts, this takes REAL METTLE, especially under duress, because then you become omnipotent and surrounded by miracles and even greater challenges, fit for a God, power has a price. God doesn’t fear anything because he is everything and that is your true self.

When you are accosted with hate or anger, respond not with hate and anger but with compassion. This is turning the other cheek, it does not mean that you let your self be personally violated, walked all over, or refrain from defending life from being destroyed by something malevolent. Do not try to defend your possession of material things there is an infinite supply. Hate is a request for love, anger energy for change, and what it means is there is some truth that is not being embraced. Some may simply be trying to express a truth but are unable to do so because their minds are clouded with fiction and that is what comes out yet the impetus is a truth that is obscured needing to be embraced.

Do not reject, exclude, or persecute; embrace and transform.

Look for the coincidence / synchronicity, affirmations, signs, messages, cues, and prompts; this will restore faith through direct experience that there is an all pervading intelligence, the infinite self working at the behest of all of itself in pursuit and application of the Supreme Evolutionary Principle the expansion of life, consciousness and experience.

Be a divine agent by simply giving the divine a presence in any situation, so that it may bestow it’s truth, wisdom and compassion.

It is not easy, because if it was it would have no value, and there would be no depth to soul, and most of what we think is a problem is really an illusion in our mind or a problem that results from attachment. All we need to do is let go, problem solved.

Grace,
This actually happened.
I walked nearly 20 miles the other day and
didn't want to stop because light was exploding from everything and Pure Bliss radiated from the environment. Thoughts were very few yet there
was a thought of you!
And it said your name (Grace) will flourish.
Grace as in Providence was seen emanting from
Grace the woman into her life.
Todd

Yes Grace, I feel very similar. I've had so much loss in the last few years (deaths in the family) and I am worn out...currently trying to plan for a big holiday and feeling lost, confused, like I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. And in all of it at least I know "who I truly am". Not always that helpful when things are difficult I must say.

this too shall pass (and all the rest of it)

Rondel

We've all been there and no one is alone in this feeling of hopelessness/confusion/etc, as I too bounce back and forth. And I think that is because of the battle ego has with Spirit. I really liked Deepak's 'Mirror Exercise,' which I will try, as well as his '10-day List Exercise,' and what he said about being female in his May newsletter honoring mothers, i.e., Understanding, Patience, Compassion, Peace, Wisdom - traits of Spirit/Shekinah/Shakti. So I've printed them all to ponder upon or put on my mirror! :-)

Love, Char

BTW: I am thankful for all the posts on this subject, as well.

Hi Grace and Eveyone,

you ask,"Anybody else feel like giving up? I’m going through some major unpleasantness in my life, and I’m just tired of it. I’m so uncomfortable; it really sucks to be me."

Yes, I have been there, plenty of times. Sometimes, just doing the normal mundane taking care of my physical needs will get to me, and I have to laugh at myself...thinking, gee, sometimes I just do not feel like working, shopping, eating, cleaning my bathroom, it is like my physical needs are simply more than I can bear at the time....not to mention, the loss of family and friends or the struggles of others who have much to bear in their lives...sometimes it all gets to me...and I have nothing comforting to hang on to, to make it better, to make it feel worthwhile, all the old uplifting inspiring voices have lost their touch and I am left hanging in mid-air...then I realize that maybe this is how I felt as a newborn...leaving the womb and ending up in what seemed like endless space, with everything unfamiliar, new, in that sense....having to learn to attach to, to find familiarity with.....except, now, hanging in mid-air, neither up nor down, neither comfortable or familiar seems like an okay place to be...the.. I just do not know....place...will it all turn out okay....will I feel better tomorrow....I just do not know....sometimes...

sometimes life stuations suck...period. It is nice not to have to run from the feeling, or pretend it feels great when it doesn't.

Sometimes being left without all the comforts of home whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual is a very naked place to be, because, really, we are, truly, nakedly human, when we allow ourselves to experience it, and, it is beautiful, frightening, humbling, and miraculous and mundane all at the same time.

from one human being to another...tell me again...why did we think we wanted to take this trip to earth? :)))))))))))))

oh Ruth I've been asking myself that question a lot lately!!!

Hey Char4 (or anyone else for that matter), what is the 10 day list exercise?

thanks,
Rondel

Dear Rondel and all,

it's so fantastic to see that if we only have ears to hear what we are telling ourselves, we know it all :)

Grace writes "it sucks to be me" and Ruth chimes in with "tell me again...why did we think we wanted to take this trip to earth?"

And then you Rondel go and ask about the 10 day- exercise which Char casually threw into the discussion :)

Sometimes we arrive at a time of growth, like many here have noted, and that time feels painful,it feels like we have no energy, no joy, no passion left. We need to re-define ourselves because the "me" we are right now really sucks (yes, we've grown out of it). It doesn't fit anymore, we feel like the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time. Our passion for life pushes us to grow, and leaving behind the status quo is scary . Besides, in order to grow, there must be a direction, we need to remember what we came here for, what our purpose is, where our passion really flows.

The 10 - day exercise is what Deepak proposes to help us through such a phase, and here is what he writes:

"Your pa*sion is the force of evolution that drives your life energy. It has to be there or you wouldn’t be alive. So you don’t need to create it, just become attuned to it and not suppress it by telling yourself you can’t do it or that it’s too impractical. I encourage people to do daily journaling where they write down what they love to do, what they are good at doing and what they have to offer others. Do that every day for 10 days, adding new ideas, sometimes repeating old ones, but let the process refine and deepen on its own over time. If you like, ask your friends what they see are your special gifts. After 10 days you will have some good ideas to work with. Now list one or two action steps that you can do for each of your ideas. It can be simple like, volunteering 1 hour a week at the women’s shelter, or giving piano lessons after school at an elementary school. The important thing is to identify that current of energy in you and then give it an outlet. Once is starts to flow, it builds its own momentum and creates its own path forward. That is the river of your life, your purpose. From there you just jump in and enjoy the ride." Deepak Chopra

This is an extremely powerful way of taking oneself out of the pain of being stuck. I know it, it works for me. There's nothing like riding the wave of your purpose in life.

Dear Grace,
this morning in the shower I got this "message" for you. I read it in a book once, can't remember who said it: "depression is the price we pay for being nice". This sentence doesn't always fit, but sometimes it's spot on. Following one's own purpose results in passion and joy and a better life for everyone. I don't know if this message fits your situation, but you'll know.

Much love to you and all!

This "feeling" Grace describes has been brought to my attention lately a few times now.

It's just a belief. There is no cause to an experience...other then an unconscious belief.

Become conscious of it by simply looking at it and the very action of seeing it...disspells it.

The light of the body is the eye. Loook LOL

Well, you know at first I didn't even want to read all of your comments. I don't know why I was afraid. But I feel much better after jumping in.

#2 Suchitra - Writing and sharing these things is scary, I'm sure you know. Putting yourself out there for anyone to judge. But what's funny is that even though I throw this stuff out there on the internet for all to see, the people I spend time with in my daily life never see it. Which is probably a good thing because if any of my friends or family read this blog I would probably feel too encumbered to share things about my experiences with them.

#6 Mieke - I like the labyrinth idea, but since there isn't one right outside my door, it seems too difficult right now. The list of 10 things by Deepak might be do-able. Trying to go from despair to a state of pure being and walking calmly through a labyrinth is such a huge leap, and more than I can grasp. But hopefully soon. Maybe synchronicity will throw one across my path?

#8 Richard Thomas - you said a lot of things that I identified with, so I thank you for that.

"It is tough to try to live truth in a world of fiction." Agreed.

"So far everything has always worked out in my experience; I don’t suspect it will stop." Me too! I know this is true, I really know it. However NOW is still uncomfortable. It's okay in the big scheme of things, and I know it won't last.

"Don't act on fear thoughts..." - Well, easier said than done. I'm trying. But a very appropriate comment, one that I need to keep in mind.

#9 Todd - "Grace will flourish" - cool! That's good to know and helps me not be afraid.

Ed, Rondel, Char, Ruth, Vivian and others, thanks for admitting you've been experiencing some similar emotions. It's always comforting to know you're not alone.

#16 Aurora - "depression is the price we pay for being nice" - Ouch. Did you have to drop that brick on my head? ;0) Okay, okay, I get it. And I needed to hear that, so thanks for passing on that message. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Spot on.

(((Grace))), after assimilating the truth of that sentence, dropping bricks of truth on the people I love is a must. I'm sorry if it hurt... believe me, I know how it feels.
Someone who loves me told me once to start being real. I was terrified thinking it would mean being the worst in me :) It meant being true to myself... and to my surprise, that is always best for everyone. Trust it, try it and be amazed.

Aurora - it didn't really hurt, but it made me think "F*ck! She's right..." It's a pain in my ego. I need more practice. (... in being true to myself)

Dear Grace....please know that I do not judge you for anything you share here nor for anything you experience : )

By sharing you bring to everyone the opportunity to look within ourselves...so thank you for that.

I am fully aware that my words are meant for me...but I become aware of my own "hinderances" through others ...through their experiences. We are all connected and in this together : )

Love to you and keep those thoughts coming!

Wow, this is classic: I just got off the phone with my mom who, out of the blue, asked if I was still writing a weekly piece for "Deepak's blog."

Dear sweet Jesus, please don't let her read this! I don't want to explain. Not today. Maybe next week.

I'm not giving up very easily, am I? Lol... Oh, I'll get there eventually.

Grace, and All:

This thread has been more useful to me than you can imagine. I've been home for the last 5 days playing Mr. Mom, and I now have a deeper insight into why my wife seems to often be in the grip of depression. The mundane tasks of caring for kids and running a household can sometimes seem unbearable, yet, I know without a doubt, that one can make any life experience deeply meaningful. It was funny to observe how easy it is to magnify the difficulties in my life, and I was reminded of Deepak's recent posts on addiction to pain. I suppose the ego must thrive on separation, even if it comes through sorrow.

I must say though, that I have the special gift of living with an 8-year-old who has the least conditioning of any human I know, so it's relatively easy to return to my moorings and catch sight of pure Being.

Forgot to mention that I have a big virtual hug ((())) for anyone in this dear IB family who would like one :-)

Lol Grace... life is KIND :D:D So, are you going to run away and hide?? Delete this whole thread, okay :D:D
If you think you are the only person in the world wanting to run away from truth, you're wrong. Everyone does it more or less, and it usually is more than less. It's not personal and you're not unique, in fact you are fighting an archetypal battle, Mrs Hero :)

Come on friend, take paper and pen and write down everything you are afraid of (yes, you can do it on your next blog, lol, but you really don't need to).
Anyway, you could answer things like: What would the people on this blog do to you if you wrote exactly what you feel? And what will your mom do if she reads your blog? Is their reaction going to kill you? And what exactly is it that you can't explain to her (=yourself) about how you've got yourself to where you are and how you are going to get yorself to where you want to be?

Write it down and face it :) The real you. Wow, I love these moments in life, I haven't missed a single one except the ones I'm still running from :D

Dear Mr. Mom,

I would definitely like a hug! I live on hugs and smiles, giving and receiving them. Thank you!

I think there is a lot in a name, Grace. I'd rather accept you 100%, in the flow of things.

X

I have a little piece of paper folded up in my pocket that says "Be true to myself" (thanks to Aurora). I find that I forget ALL the time.

Lo Grace, now that will be assuming that you know yourself... But wise say that it takes a lifetime...

Perhaps that is why a deeper part of you makes you forget it for the time being...and just enjoy life...There is enough time or rather age for being a sage (the knower of oneself lol).

Harb - truer words were never said. My problem is not really knowing who I am or what I want. Just enjoy life in the mean time is good advice. Maybe I'll write that on the other side of my paper :0)

Live in liberty. An inner life free of conflict is an amazing life.
There is adventure in living this way.

Harb, I don't think anyone has to wait for anything, like age, to know oneself. Knowing oneself is really simple and can be done at any moment. Instead of listening to the thoughts about "who I am and what I should do", just be here right now and take your present step with awareness. Just listen to the inner voice, step by step. Just feel in the heart if this one step is completely true. Then you are your self. Nothing to wait for. Waiting is an illusion.

Aurora, well said. When did you gain such wisdom?

When? :D
The moment mind stopped :) Has nothing to do with age, if that's what you're asking... my kids are really good at staying with the self too.

Sorry Harb, maybe I've misunderstood your theory, but to me, age leads to psychological maturity, while spiritual maturity has nothing to do with the details of the life we're dreaming. It doesn't matter if the movie is at its beginning, in the middle or near the end, one can wake up and realize it's a movie at any time. One doesn't have to wait for old age (or anything else) to find the true self. On the contrary, such time-based theories would just make the moment more hard to notice.

But theories are truly nice to play with :)

OK Aurora. Thank you.

So Grace, enjoy life at least till the mind stops...

So, Harb like McCain losing his bearings? Especially awe stuck with his sense of humor and creativity in his follow up post to John's Bush parody of Pres. Avtar and Ego as New Al Queda postings in Avtar Singh's Part 2 of his latest blogseries.