Great post creatively! I got a kick out of your struggle with old time baking methods. In truth, while the journey may be fun, the end result is what counts in cakes!

I wonder if you could compare the addiction to cocaine with your baking skills. What is there in cocaine that causes one to take it in the first place, and then continue it in the second place? I just want to know. I am not being rude or crude or dumbth, but I have always wondered what it is about cocaine that causes so many people to use it. As you can tell, I have not ever tried it and don't want to learn what it is like at all. I would imagine that it would cost a leg and arm to maintain the habit.

Actually, box mixes are so good that many are just o.k. to use but for a good Lane cake that is really special, you must bake it from scratch. You can find it in Southern Living recipes.

Thanks for a fun post and hopefully you will realize I am sincere in asking about what is it about cocaine that attracted you.

Felicia,

Everything basic is always more enjoyable and gives better result.

Take for example, you may not be knowing that you are breathing.

Do you know that you are breathing?

Ha ha. This it the most basic function of human. But we forget it. We should be aware every hour that we are breathing and that is enough to come to the path of greatness, enjoyable life.

Check again!

Are you breathing??

Felicia / Janet (arizonasunset),

People are made to forget the basics of human life and nature.

Nature has provided us everything, but during our growing years, we are made to forget nature.

We are made to forget being addicted to nature.

We are made to think that meditation is a very hard process, while it is natural and it has orgasmic feeling and effect.

But because we go away from nature, we feel that the thing called 'meditation' is very difficult.

Being aware that you are breathing is meditation. Thats all. I will give you continuous orgasmic feeling. Try it.

Once you feel this, you will start disliking all other addictions.

Add another addiction of going to a garden or open space and breath.

Breath and experience permanent / continuous orgasm.

Dear Felicia,

I absolutely loved your post, your honesty and courage. You do know that your cake IS a triumph, don't you? :) I'm glad you do.

Just a thought that you might want to consider- maybe living the best life doesn't take work, but simply a clear intention, trust in yourself and love for yourself. Maybe it's not a battle, maybe that is the very view of life that you want to let go of. Maybe the frustration, fear, pain that is coming up at times to leave you needs to be felt, acknowledged and let go of - without struggle. Your brightness, strength and love for yourself are never further away than a deep breath.

Best of luck, I hope you enjoy your journey!

Life sucking trials
Tributes reserved for workers
Lazy butts upstairs

Felicia, I dont think you need any further advice.

It is the time rather for congratulations.

Now make your cake and eat it too lol.

Dear Felicia,

Starting from scratch is the only way to go forward :)

I would like to add my congratulations to you, next to Harb's.

Enjoy your journey and know that being and staying connected to that heartphone is your strength!

Much love, from the heartphone :)

Mieke

Felicia,

What a powerful story! Our relationship with mother and food is such a core experience. I applaud you for untangling that which held you prisoner and I applaud your freedom.

Your story is the perfect chocolate cake for breakfast -- nourishing my soul.

Trish~~

Hi Felicia,

WOW. Recovering from a cocaine addition is awesome, wonderful, sobering. I take my hat off to your accomplishment.

I love the food channel it is where I go, now, so I do not have to listen to the political propaganda of the day. There is no Obama or McCain stuff....just fun food stuff.

My daughter once told me she wanted a"homemade cake" for her birthday since I always purchased them. I too went to buy all the ingredients and had a great recipe from a great baking book and tried my hand at a three layer carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. The cake mixing was fine but the baking took forever...I mean the cake wouldn't cook, it was in the oven long over it's time and when I finally got it out and frosted it..it was a huge, rich, heavy cake...it tasted fine but it was a lot of cake...my daughter, who waited, patiently, for it to be done and frosted then said...."Mom, I meant for you to just by a "cake mix" from the store....like all the other Moms do." That was her idea of "homemade."

wishing you much comfort, peace and success in your kitchen.....ruth

Hi Felicia,

You are creating a living banquet and you have the grace and dignity to share it w/ others. You go, girl!!

I sometimes think recovery is truly hell on earth. It requires a moment-by-moment awareness: acknowledging 'what was' and working to create a more positive 'what is' so that you can experience a future of endless 'what if' possibilities. But monitoring one's own mind is rather like chasing fireflies on a warm night - they are beautiful, they are everywhere and they are difficult to catch.

Baking as recovery - creative and nurturing - what a fantastic healing path you're on. I'm excited for you. Thank you for sharing.

My eyes are falling on your words of
"Chocolate cake"
Girl, don't say that to me
You know why
Each time, I am done

I will read your entire post and come back right after...

The stars say you're my best lover
Matched up like sugar for a cake
They say our love could conquer anything
I'd always hide my feelings
Keep them so cool and so contained
This time it's something I just can't retain
Cos you give me a good vibe don't you know baby
You give me funky love, funky love
Could this be what love's all about baby

It seems my heart has led the way
Is this my chance to find mon amour parfait
Or is it just another dream
Is this for real or is it just another dream

Is this for real or is it just another dream...