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Trust in me..

Suchitra Krishnamoorthi - May 08, 2008

Hsssss....Remember Ka-the snake in jungle book? What a guy. Gorgeous! I even loved his sinus...Oops. I'm digressing already. But thats the way the mind goes.

Anyway what i wanted to share with you is that I attended a 1st level Reiki course over the weekend. I went because a friend was going and asked ‘Would you like to come along?” I went because I felt my creativity was not in flow and my brain cells were clogged. I went because I had absolutely nothing concrete to do over the weekend so I thought to myself –why not? Its was better than party hopping and mindless shopping.
I was lucky because one of the group dropped out half hour before my friend called the Reiki master to enquire if I could come, so there was a seat empty

The 1st day of the Reiki course was fine. I started off with trying to fit in and be one of the group, in my own smart ass way of course. The group comprised of a bunch of wonderful sensitive souls. I also started off with telling the Reiki master that I resented the terms that were often used in spiritual teachings such as ‘healing’ and ‘patient’ Everybody has problems to some degree or another. Right? Right? Terms like healing and patient made me feel like a sicko in a psychiatric ward (many in the group agreed with me on this one), so lets cut out the patronizing use of words, shall we?
Isn’t ‘sorted’ a better term than ‘healed’?
‘Seeker’ a better word than ‘patient’?
And hey-your ok and I’m ok-right? So let’s enjoy and be happy-or at least pretend to be for now

But as the sessions progressed Pretend I realized was the operative word. While some of the rest of the group shared their experiences freely, I sat there quietly listening to it all feeling a bit smug and superior. I kept telling myself that this was kid stuff, I had sorted myself years ago and so there was no problem. All these people needed to do was get busy and get a Life.
I had a life you see, a great life! I was just here to learn the technique of Reiki and open up my mind. For whatever it was worth. No more. So i could paint and write and be at my creative best.
We went through meditation after meditation.
Then we had a particularly intense session of meditation. We placed our hands over our hearts and concentrated on the chants playing on the stereo for over an hour, getting in touch with our core.
Suddenly and repeatedly the words ‘betrayal’ ‘used’ ‘abused’ and ‘emotional rape’ kept flashing through my mind over and over again. I found myself crying and I couldn’t stop. Aches and pains long buried pushed against my heart, my shoulder and my knee
I suddenly found myself almost shouting out without any embarrassment that I was sick of being vulnerable, sick of being played for a fool, sick of repeating the same patterns in my life over and over again. My vulnerability which was such an asset in my art was a curse to my progress and prosperity in the outside world!
I must confess here, that until now, I had no idea that I was feeling so sorry for myself.

It was like an out of body experience –I was looking out at myself, only I was a terrified little child. Was that really me saying all those things?
“I want to be a bitch because the bitch gets it all” I cried because it seemed to me that my supposed goodness (or at least what I considered goodness in my own head) had left me high and dry. I was shocked at the words spilling out of my mouth-shocked that deep down, in spite of the armours I had created around myself over the years, how terribly vulnerable and fragile and broken I felt.
Shocked at the realization of how little I depended on myself for my own happiness and how easily I pointed fingers at others for my lack of it.
Shocked that I said these words in a room full of strangers and shocked at the love and understanding I received from them.
Shocked that I didn’t care that I would be misunderstood, misquoted or misinterpreted
Shocked at how tiny and powerful I felt at the same time.
But most of all I was shocked at the experience that followed. It was a session of partner Reiki, where your partner performs Reiki on you.
It goes on again for about an hour.
Towards the end of the hour, I felt an intense pain in the centre of my foot. It was blinding. I felt like large heavy beams were pushing out through the centre of my right heel and exploding out… You know those pictures of gods and goddesses with shafts of light pouring out of their forehead or the centre of their palm-well for me it was happening on the foot and there was no beatific smile on the face. Just intense pain.

After the meditation, I explained it to my master. Told her that I have just lived a scene out of a Manmohan Desai film-remember Nirupa Roy getting her vision back with the little diyas floating into her eyes? Something like that has just happened to me…Whats going on?
She said a very strong negative energy, that had been previously trapped inside me, has left my body. It’s what caused the excruciating pain.

I’m an educated erudite 21st (or is it 22nd now?) century girl. How can all this be true?
My Reiki master tells me kindly that for a change I should not think so much. Leave my intelligence and smartness behind and learn to trust. Because the universal energy of Reiki is available to all living beings-if only we allow it to flow through us and not block it out with doubt or sceptism or fear. That it works at the level of intention- All I have to do is trust.So far so good. Infact I would say fantastic.
But... how do I trust? Who do I trust? How can I possibly trust?
Questions! Questions! Questions!

On the way out of the session this guy I know keeps calling and smsing me. I try to avoid him but he dosent ease up. I tell him I am just out of a reiki class.
“Wow…reiki haan. Cool. Feeling good?”
See I dated him briefly a while ago-we had some fun dinners and long drives. We always went to quiet places of his choice-his explanation was that he was a very private person and didn’t want the attention that came with my public personna. It bothered me but I respected his need for privacy. Till I found out through a friend of mine that he was recently married and expecting a child!!-she had seen him and his heavily pregnant wife together at a party all happy happy and lovey dovey
So it wasn’t privacy as much as secrecy that he was seeking & I was too dumb to figure it out
When I asked him about it, about how come he was asking me out when he was a married man, he casually said “My wife dosent mind” I doubt if the lady has a clue but it wasnt my job to spill the beans.

I’ve avoided him like the plague ever since but he has been persistent.
“How it going angel?” “Goodnight sweets” “lets meet” blah blah.
Calling smsing telling me his problems, many times a day and every day, inspite of me repeatedly telling him not to. I’ve even found myself feeling sorry for the guy and thinking I’m being nasty by not responding to him! Some perverse reverse psychology in play here.
“So how was the rieki angel?"
"please dont call me angel"
"Ok sweets. What did you learn?anything interesting?”
“I learnt that I will not be made a fool of anymore. And if you call me once again, I’ll not only come across to wherever you are and beat the shit out of you but I’ll also tell your wife you $%#%$ f$^*ing Ar$h&le!”

Phew! I did it! That felt sooooo good!
Reiki has made me strong

But today he’s still calling me and saying “baby, please don’t be angry”
the nerve!!!
So My next class is going to be Kung Fu
Will keep you posted about that in my next blog :-0

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Posted by Suchitra Krishnamoorthi at May 8, 2008 01:05 PM

Comments

Suchitra,

Congratulations on your evolution.

"I was ╩sick╩ of being vulnerable, ╩sick╩ of being played for a fool, ╩sick╩ of repeating the same patterns in my life over and over again"

Be careful your body is listening and it will respond.

"sicko in a psychiatric ward" guess what creates these people? The systems created by the so called sane, which violate the many. That or an experience demon that has been passed on for decades centuries and never met the love that would stop it in it's path sending it into the void.

I have visited people in psychiatric wards. Most are sensitive people that could not handle the fictions of the world or got caught up in them. Many of them have been damaged by anti-depressants and legal drugs. Many of them have magnesium deficiency but correcting that is not very profitable. There is an essential system wide chemical reaction that is affected by this.

The magnesium deficiency in 85% of the people, aggravated by poor mineral content in the soil producing mineral deficient produce, drinking coke and Pepsi, and poor diet processing is causing system wide problems in your body. This is why I have been running the End of Violence campaign that is based on correcting magnesium deficiency and is another reason I have been running a soil remineralization awareness campaign.

Interestingly I don’t have a fancy medical degree or the same collective intentions as the medical industrial complex, individual exceptions to all this noted. I am a systems analyst which actually would better qualify me to be solving the world’s health problems, not the status quo supporting doctors. Exceptional doctors noted and there are more than a few.

Magnesium is the activator mineral for over 300 different enzymes (nano machinery) more than any other mineral. Enzymes are catalysts that facilitate biochemical reactions and are at the core of virtually all metabolic processes that occur in the bodys 60 trillion cells. All of our cells, including our brain cells, run on a form of biochemical energy that depends on the production of Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP). Three interlocking cycles produce 90-95% of the body and brains ATP. These cycles which primarily burn sugar and fat for fuel are; (1) the glycolytic cycle; the Krebs (citric acid) cycle; and the electron transport side chain (ETSC).

Magnesium serves as the necessary activator mineral for almost all of the enzymes that allow the glycolytic and Krebs cycles to turn the sugar and fat we eat into ATP. (2) The ATP produced by the ETSC is derived from electron sparks released by the magnesium-powered Krebs cycle. Once cells (including brain cells) produce ATP--which they must do every second of our lives--the ATP must be combined with magnesium for stable storage. (2) Otherwise, ATP breaks down at random, releasing its energy as heat instead of as energy doing useful cellular work

THE KEY POINT when there is not enough magnesium ATP breaks down at random, releasing its energy as heat instead of as energy. Guess how many processes and systems malfunction or fail as a result? All of them.

I could make the statement that the status quo elite treats the servitude like cattle, but this would not be correct because they pump cattle full of vitamins, I know because I worked for the industry. Healthy cattle are profitable, whereas sick people are most profitable to the disease industry.

If any of you have ever lost a loved one to disease you should be raging because the industry you trusted for you health information was to blinded by ignorance and profit and could have saved them.

The question is “are the Doctors willing to give up BMW’s and country club memberships to do the right thing?” Will the academic institutions give up all that research money that comes from pharmaceutical companies trying to fix something that is not broken?

The tragedy is that all this money spent on drug research could have been spent on an easy and accurate way to measure magnesium levels in the body. This is what I would direct as President of the United states or as the head of an institution charged with ensuring the nations health.

What do you all think? Are these people evil or what? Or are they just ignorant?

Do you think members of congress should do something about it? Or are they caught up in the fictions as well?

And you wonder why people end up in psychiatric wards when they live in a world like this?

Trust in me.

1. Posted by Richard Thomas ∞Φ on May 8, 2008 02:49 PM

Who can make the connection?

Magnesium also helps regulate nerve cell function. It must be present in adequate amounts in the synaptic gap between nerve cells to control the rate of neuron firing. When synaptic magnesium levels are too low, nerves fire too easily from even minor stimuli. For example, noises will sound excessively loud, lights will seem too bright, █emotional reactions will be exaggerated█, and the brain will be too stimulated to sleep. In extreme magnesium-synaptic deficiency, epilepsy--a sort of whole-brain shotgun-blast excessive neuronal firing--may result.

█emotional reactions will be exaggerated█
█emotional reactions will be exaggerated█
█emotional reactions will be exaggerated█
█emotional reactions will be exaggerated█
█emotional reactions will be exaggerated█
█emotional reactions will be exaggerated█

2. Posted by Richard Thomas ∞Φ on May 8, 2008 02:59 PM

Thank you for sharing your experience, Suchitra.

Wow that was quite a ride you had. I look forward to you sharing your experience with Kung Fu : )

3. Posted by VivianAmis on May 8, 2008 03:17 PM

One can drink enjoy Coke and Pepsi if one supplements with minerals. The idea is to drink an abundance of mineral laden water not carbonated sugar water with phosphoric acid, which binds with magnesium and calcium in the digestive tract. It’s called the counterbalance principle, anytime we do something in a system to create an imbalance we need to create a counter balance, to keep things in balanced.

If I was an academic institution or a pharmaceutical company I would be trying to patent a method to properly measure magnesium levels, as well as determine each individuals bodies requirements. This is how we know the science behind determining the daily requirements is flawed. Of course I can think of a way that just needs a little research, maybe I should patent it.

We should also create a way to measure the nutrient content of batches of produce.

That is where it is at Investors; advanced diagnostics and biochemical enhancements and balance. This is divine wealth coming from Health, creating genuine value to humanity.

4. Posted by Richard Thomas ∞Φ on May 8, 2008 03:43 PM

Correction

THE KEY POINT when there is not enough magnesium ATP breaks down at random, releasing its energy as heat rather than "kinetic" energy with a purpose.

5. Posted by Richard Thomas ∞Φ on May 8, 2008 04:12 PM

Change your phone number!

6. Posted by Char4 on May 8, 2008 05:33 PM

Suchitra,

Best way to get attain peace and calm is to be aware that you are breathing.

Just being aware that you are inhaling and exhaling is enough to be at peace with oneself.

Another key to peace and calm is forgiveness. Forgiving everybody and everything including ourselves.

Going out for a walk for half an hour or more and being aware about inhaling and exhaling is enough to clean all our past from our mind and body.

After a walk or jogging for half an hour or more sit down in any comfortable position with your spine straight and breath in and breath out. Thats all. While walking or jogging you should be aware of your breath. Just being aware about your breath is enough to clean your brain and body of past.

You can do it alone, so you would not have to meet people on whom you may have to try Kung Fu.

Send an sms to that guy "Son, do some yoga and meditation and concentrate on your breathing"

God bless

7. Posted by Life Coach on May 8, 2008 05:34 PM

Okay, I guess that might sound cruel, but I have to deal with that kind of stuff all the time, as most women do. If you don't just change your phone number, the guy will keep calling unless you enjoy the attention? But that's up to you. And I don't think after reading your post, you can say anything to change his mind. His wife is pregnant and he his playing! Now, if one wants to play in that manner, then go for it, but it does not sound like you do. And really, look at the healing process that you have begun and you stood up to the guy, so now cut him completely off!!!! That is what you want? Isn't it?

Love, Char

8. Posted by Char4 on May 8, 2008 05:37 PM

Richard, Suchitra does not need all these explanations and theories. I think she is an artist. Lets keep things simple for her.

Just request her to breath. Inhale / Exhale and be aware that she is breathing.

Request her to go to big Central Park kind of open green area and just breath and be aware of breath.

Body would automatically balance all magnesium and other chemicals.

It will clean all the past.

9. Posted by Life Coach on May 8, 2008 05:40 PM

Life Coach, I think Suchitra can decide for herself if she wants to read what I write, and artists are very intelligent.

Others might also find benefit in it.

Why are you suggesting I request her to breathe and go to a open green area why don't you just suggest it directly to her?

True oxygen is needed for the Krebs cycle so breathing is important.

The body cannot balance something it does not have.

I am not doubting your good intentions.

10. Posted by Richard Thomas ∞Φ on May 8, 2008 07:17 PM

Ha Ha,

Thanks Richard for giving me knowledge.

As you are so knowledgeable, I wanted to start a dialogue with you.

Thanks for sharing.

Artist are very intelligent, so they do not need to waste time on thinking about chemical process going on in their body. It is the work of Doctors and Scientists and those interested in chemical.

I still think, proper breathing and breathing exercises are enough to keep a person balance, both physically and mentally.

You yourself try some breathing exercises every day for 5 to 10 minutes a day and you will see the difference.

Also always remind yourself every hour that you are breathing and see the difference.

I would request Suchitra to start breathing exercises. Just breath in and breath out. Remind yourself every hour that you are breathing.

11. Posted by Life Coach on May 8, 2008 07:43 PM

Hi Suchitra,

That was a wonderful sharing about what happened to you in your Reiki class. It was a real break through.
I loved the part where you said,"I suddenly found myself almost shouting out without any embarrassment that I was sick of being vulnerable, sick of being played for a fool, sick of repeating the same patterns in my life over and over again."

Then you shared the story of your problem with Mr. Unfaithful Husband, and how it took you so long to finally threaten him properly with physical violence and exposure to his wife.

I applauded this outburst on your part, until I heard that you are still taking his texts, and putting up with his bullshit and not doing anything about it!

Hi yaaaaaa Suchitra, why don't you take what you learned you were sick and tired of, in that moment of clear vision, and stop being a WIMP. Make good on your threats to him. Call his wife and then go beat shit out of him, or get someone to do it for you.

I am available on Saturday afternoons.

Kindest regards,
Stan

12. Posted by stan on May 9, 2008 05:45 AM

Suchitra,

What a powerful breakthrough within yourself and another powerful breakthrough sharing your vulnerablity with the blog world. Thank you for that flow of energy from invisible core to visible surface. A clean line without any blocks. Authentic and real. That work takes guts...and heart!

I'm sorry about your stalking situation. These men are sad cases and have no sense of relationship with their inner female. They are predators and ego driven. Women who are stalked and harrassed need to tell our stories rather than keeping them a secret. I encourage you to tell his wife or someone who knows him. These men and their patterns need to be exposed not to shame and blame them but to free up their negative pattern in the same way you were freed up. As women of heart we extend love to these half-men while we ask and demand new behavior.

It's time for us women to move through our personal pain and grief that have been patterned to please men. The only male we have to please is within. When heart and mind connect the body follows. It's time to heal the body. Thanks, for assisting our healing process that has a direct effect on our
one mother--Planet Earth.

Happy Mother's Day,

Trish~~

13. Posted by Trish on May 9, 2008 09:24 AM

I bet the Husband's wife already knows intuitively - we all do, as we just get this gut feeling. I think calling the wife or telling her would only hurt her, as well as openly shaming the wife. Plus, I don't think she would appreciate it. She knows .....

Love, Char

14. Posted by Char4 on May 9, 2008 02:19 PM

Woke this morning with this song in my head..why must that be?

15. Posted by Tammy on May 10, 2008 05:28 AM

This is there too..Trust in me..

16. Posted by Tammy on May 10, 2008 06:27 AM

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