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What is ups, my virtual buttercups?

Guru Pitka - May 08, 2008

What is ups, my virtual buttercups? It is I, his holiness, the Guru Pitka, gettin' jiggy with another blog entry. Think of these as a sort of breakfast for your soul: you shouldn't miss them, and they are the most important part of your day. Except for pooping. (the only people that like backed-up pipes are Roto-Rooter, and they have their own web site)

And since we're sharing, I personally like to start my days off with a steaming hot cup of elephant essence tea, and a freshly laid ostrich egg. The tea has many restorative powers, but getting it usually involves a tranquilizer gun, a miners light, and some needle-nose pliers. It also makes the elephant very angry, so make sure you really want it. Oy!

As for the ostrich egg, they come from the huge flock I have on my ashram estate grounds. A year ago, I only had two, but these dudes hump more than a camel. I know that doesn't make sense, but I am so distracted by the constant ostrich humping. Between you, me and the asana, I wish they would migrate or something, but they are featherless. What god created featherless birds?! If God was here right now, I'd be all like "what's the deal with these frikking giant non-flying birds?!" And he'd be all like "Sorry you don't like them, but deal with it!" And I'd be all "Hey, you don't have to deal with them digging up your expensive landscaping with their giant feet!" And he'd be all "I told you to skip the grass and get some inexpensive drought resistant plants". And then I would stop, because he is right. Damn! He is always right. Except for when he told me to bet 50,000 dollars on the Knicks winning the championship. I had to sell all my singing Dolly Parton dolls to keep the bookie from breaking my sitar finger. Oops, gotta go! One of the ostriches kicked the mailman into the pool again. You wooly-winged bastards owe me a new J Crew catalogue!

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Posted by Guru Pitka at May 8, 2008 10:10 PM

Comments

Mr. Guru Pitka
If one can have fun with one's self, can anyone have fun with anyone else's self.

self peace not on the shelf please

derek

Dear Guru Pitka,
I am wondering what happened to Desh. He is not on the list oc contributors. I worry he might have had a melt down of sorts considering the last words of his I read. So here I find you. Dare I trust you with a truthful answer given that you may know. He was sweet. - just me

By the way,
How aold is this picture?

Dear Guru Pitka,
Does kundalini yoga take a long time, that is, to rise through all the chakras? And what if you're female and you don't have any seminal fluid - moon fluid- do you have to go out and get some? And is it ok to get it from a "created fictionalized observer"?
Very important to me to know these things. So if you come back to post here, I am open to .001% of your expert opinion. And that's for real.
I'm sick of those voodoo men over on IB.
They do something to me
and mystify me.

Dear Guru Pitka,

I know a Master Buttercup. But he's a virtual pain in the you-know-what. Why? you may ask. Because he has a virtual harem. Groupies. Commune types. Yet, for all it's worth, like the cherubs in the Temple, he turns his head to me.
What shall I do?

Dear Guru Pikta,

I can't expect a little garden snake to learn rocket science. So why, oh why, do I insist on finding Him?

Dear #1:

Since you commented on my birthday, I'll respond to that old inquiry for Guru Pitka.

The answer is: Not just anyone.

Dear Guru Pitka,
Just realized you may be my created fictionalized observer.

I wanted to tell you that I read in Kabbala just recently that Wisdom belongs to the individual, unlike Understanding, which is shared. It's a remarkable thing to realize this.

I hope Desh is OK.
The picture is too young for one to have gone to Woodstock with my brothers.
The voodoo men over on IB I love.
I turn my head to him 'cause DT Susuki said if you have to choose between prajna and karuna, choose love.
I insist on finding him 'cause I know nothing else. It was a matter of discovering Truth, but now it's not that matter.

Well dear Guru, you have served me well. Merci beacoup. And good luck to you.

http://www.intentblog.com/archives/2008/05/it_is_me_guru_p_1.html

Dear Abby, I mean Guru Pitka,

I feel I am experiencing Ordinary Bliss of the Second Kind and have just now realized that I think I am stuck in Sensuous Heaven #1, (according to Tibetan Yoga and Secret Doctrines, that is.)

So, in offering a creative thought today, as Deepak just mentioned, I want to say that, it is conceivable that you can't get there from here.

Heartphone was saying she was lucky to have been in the hospital only two times. I have been in four times, in '84, '86, '91, and '93. This was for a thought disorder and in '93 I got the right combo of medicine. My doctors say it is either manic-depression or schizo affective disorder. They have said it really doesn't matter what it is, so long as they can call it something and thereby prescribe the correct medicine.

When I say you can't get there from here I want to emphasize the fragility of the mundane mind. We all know how fragile the physical body is but most don't think about the mind as such. Whenever I lower my meds it comes back to me like Whoaaa!.

Without a stable mind you can't learn and practise yogic meditation. So at the very, very, very, least one should be kind and have respect for another in that we are not intentionally upsetting their mind. Something I haven't considered until just now. (You see how writing you gives me answers? Unlike those playboys over on IB.)

Thank you for your patience.

PS: The reason for mentioning my mind situation is that I think a certain dynamic of mind is understood which may not be understood in the same way. OK? (That being to a degree the space between thoughts and the impermanence of thought, which will help in meditation when that help is not forthcoming by any other means.)
Well, such as it is.

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