As an inspiration to myself I use to float this thought through my mind: Life is so damn boring! Especially when you reach a certain age when you’ve been there, and done that already, you have everything in life you need or want, and you have accomplished all your personal goals in life and your not content! And, even with all the craziness around, it all seems so damn boring and repetitive. You sit and say; is this all there is? Have I run the course and now with the absence of courses to run do I just wait for old age and death? I have what I want out of life and still I’m bored to death! Do I go out chasing weak desires and creating drama to past the time? Do I go out and start being productive again? Why would I do that and for what? Because I’m bored? This place sucks! Is living just wasting meaningless time till you die!

These words would inspire me in my spiritual pursuit. They would force me to look away from the world and its fleeting sensory enjoyments, which were unfulfilling. Every time this dialogue took place I would sit in meditation and gladly surrender everything in life to escape, and since God (enlightenment) is my only remedy, which is still available to me, well then, by god, let it happen! Because I fail to see the importance of life, and you can open my eyes, but for now they will remain closed, and when they are open, they won’t see beauty but boredom and stupidity until you release me. I did this for years before actualizing myself in Absolute Space, and now I’m content at being bored, which is being beyond the need for new experiences. Life is boring, superficial, and to be content at just watching life from a theater seat for its meager entertainment value, is the self-realized. Contentment at being, whether on Earth or in Absolute space, it no longer matters. ~Kurt~

I should of said: from my frozen theater seat

Pallavi,
Thanks so much for sharing your heart through your story. I tell you my story in return as an exchange of caring energy.

I may know some angle of this emotionless place you speak of. I may have passed through it recently. For me it's like a neutral gear as I stand still with no direction. It's a place where sparks are missing and blue skies become grey. Though it feels like a void it simply means change.

For me this emotionless thread weaves with the highs and lows. It's part of the whole emotional cycle and wheel. Thankfully I always come out of the lows and move on to a new gear and cycle of creative expression.

An inner source at our core drives us and keeps us moving. Inertia is not a natural state as Life pulls us to listen, wake up and dance within and with others.

I don't get too attached to the emotional space that I'm in. I ride the joy of the highs knowing they will change; I feel the depression of the lows and know they too shall pass and I will feel sun again. This seeing is from Center where peace resides beyond emotion of this world. The same can be said about thoughts that follow my emotional tones and cues.

We parent our ego-self through all sorts of weather patterns. We can extend love and peace from core identity knowing we are part of an exquisite divine dance that, in this realm of matter, is a dance of opposites.

Thanks, Pallavi, for listening to your inner Self and sharing your story that holds a new chapter around the corner.

Love,

Trish~~

I have my weight on you
Tons of self misunderstanding
Right on your shoulders

Lay down and see
There is the blue
Close your eyes
There is the dark

Agility, in one little-step
Open your eyes slowly
Let me be your all vision...

Some are mere characters in the story and some awaken to become story masters.

Claim your power as the One and only.

There is no purpose other than to experience something new.

Hi Richard,

Yesterday and today I experienced something that together could be something new.

Yesterday I got the message that a good female friend of mine died of breast cancer after having taken "her illness as a challenge for her body, to learn from. She wrote a whole book on it: "Illness as a challenge". She just lived according to her book and finally faced the challenge of death.

Today I received a phonecall from my son that I am going to be a granny once again of my fourth grandchild. Life <> Death <> Life. The Paradox of Nature. I have experienced it symbolically in those 25 Lifegardens.

Infinite players do want to incarnate again. I am convinced of the fact that I can have my own believes in life. I am convinced my dearest friend will reincarnate as my fourth grandchild.

A Self Designed Universe? Why not?

I design my own universe every day, brand new, always with intentions, but not expectations.
If you do not expect anything, how could life be anything else than just what it is?

I do this already from my 34th, i still do it on my 62nd, why shouldn't I do it till I pass away?
It is very rewarding.

Dear Pallavi,

Life is a labyrinth, a unicursal path that always leads you to the middle and from there always leads you to the exit/entrance again. And if you are open to it, you release your burdens in the middle and walk back again, relieved to receive new impulses again.

Anyway, my experience as the One.

Love, Mieke

Http://www.heartphone.org

Dear Pallavi,

Thank you for sharing the beautifully written article. You have many good responses too.

I remember, many years ago, thinking about life...what does it mean? Many nights I would look up at the stars and wonder...is that all there is? Surely, there must be more to life than just this...my normal everyday routine. I had a limited vision then, and no knowledge or experience of spirituality or consciousness... Then it all changed one day...after another....

So, my point is that by just asking and wondering and wanting to know and experience is the beginning of this wondrous life. I hope you will discover for yourself too.

It is times like this in our life that is really significant. It is a catalyst for change.

Also, I think your second last sentence of your story is a clue for you..."But at the end of the day, I also know I am stifled because I have to follow my life through to its destined destination." The words "I have to"...can be changed. You don't "have" to do anything you don't want to. When you "have" to do something, you take the joy out of it. Life is for enjoying...and when you truly enjoy life then there is enthusiasm and meaning.

Best wishes,
M:)

DESPAIR leads to

DESPONDENCE leads to

DISILLUSION leads to

DETERMINATION (to find out) leads to

WISDOM leads to

DE-CONDITIONING leads to

ACCEPTANCE leads to

SURRENDER leads to

DETACHMENT leads to

PURE BLISS leads to

FULFILLMENT leads to

COMPASSION leads to

SELFLESS (service) leads to

DEAR state

Pallavi, wherever you find yourself on these uncomplicated rosary of states, remember you are progressing towards the dearest of all. Please do not neglect the wealth of your own tradition, which perfectly describes all of them in sequence of events. Thus giving the soul that much needed assurance of the approaching deliverance. The Gita reveals the beauty of all these stages while spontaneously carrying the one towards her Self.

Jai Guru Deva

igor