Sex & The City
Tori Roy - July 23, 2008
Single & Sexy …………..in LA, NY………..
Or for that matter anywhere around the world.
Does being single and sexy always go together? Can you be one without the other? No, you can no longer be single and not be sexy – that’s a no-brainer.
Conversely, can you be sexy and not be single, or more importantly not care about it – one way or another? Single people do give off a vibe, much like a pheromone, whereby animals of the opposite sex (of the same species) may track you by your scent and you are expected to play nice.
It is this last part that sometimes poses problems. General consensus has it that when you are single, your sensuality (which is so much a part of your natural self - or so you thought) may be used for enticement and entrapment only. It would be nice if you were not expected to turn it on or off, to send a signal, one way or another. And then what about off-days when you’d much rather sit around in sweats and a ball-cap, all turned off? Ah, but then that is exactly why you need that boyfriend or girlfriend by your side – for days like those. Hence the dating game! The process of screening, YAY! When you conduct a job interview, only those that qualify for the job may apply, and then too, you withhold who your favorite candidate is until the next morning when your head is clearer – that helps. However, that’s not how it works in the single gene pool. No. Dating turns out to be more like a cattle call for reality TV. It’s for the publicity. The process of screening, GROAN! Being single takes hard work. It can be so over-rated.
Women’s sensuality can be misinterpreted. The subculture that I was brought up in - never mind the geography - girls are not encouraged to over think body language – sensual or otherwise. It is something organic, unfiltered. The reason being – growing up – they are accustomed to living under an umbrella of protection provided by close proximity to family and friends – loosely chaperoned by a wider surrogate community. They feel comfortable with their sensuality. They do not give much thought to being HOT! At least, not while I was growing up. They do not see the co-relation between the way they look and what it says about them. Simple enough when you are in like-minded company that understands and respects these boundaries. However, cross over to the other part of town, so to speak, and notice the difference.
New York and Los Angeles are perhaps the two best and worst cities for singles. Well, in New York you can go to the theater and hope to meet like-minded people in the lobby or the neighboring restaurant where you congregate before or after. So say the guys! My girlfriends however, beg to differ. These guys are just there to execute a pick up, no less (consider yourself warned). Bars are too blasé for these self-appointed patron of the arts. We should know, they’d rather be seen where the smart chicks hang out. But New York is New York. The smart chick really wants you to think with your head. No, not the little head - the other one. In New York, the smart girl does exist. She is not teetering on the edge of extinction as in LA. In Los Angeles, the smart woman is an endangered species. Provided, it is not your goal to spend eternity in solitary sexless purgatory, you’d better drop the smartness. The dimmer you appear the better your chances are. Work on giving your eyes the slightly glazed-over vacuous look of a deer caught in the headlights – and you’ve got it made! You despair of ever finding a guy that knows how to hold a conversation beyond the requisite ten minutes before he refreshes your drink again – and again. But you keep it to yourself as you sip away. Meanwhile he is working hard. This plan of getting the girl drunk so you look good!?! Not so smart. She may be drunk and you still ain’t looking so good. Sorry Honey, that means you’re not scoring tonight.
LA is like High School on steroids. It feels like back in High school again, but with a lot more booze and cuter guys. The nerds have all gone and hid somewhere - Or gotten a makeover, or something.
Then of course there’s West Hollywood – where you might as well forget about meeting the boy next door, because well, he’s waiting to do the same. All those great looking guys at the gym and the smoothie bar and the cafes on Melrose are already taken. They’re with, you guessed right – the boy next door.
Not to forget the club scene. All those glamorous clubs on Sunset – and we have so many. LA rocks, right? Yeah, right. On a given Friday night accompanied by a group of friends, you walk through the velvet ropes in style - provided your names are on “THE LIST” – only to spend the night being hit on by seedy Talent Agents, one “Celebrity” Photographer and a handful of Porn Movie Producer wannabes. The venues change – went to Boulevard 3 – went to Daddy’s – went to Social Hollywood - same story with a twist – substitute Business Owners for Movie Producers or Photographers or Musicians. Same overgrown boys cloaked in swagger, rattling sabers in their battle against low of self-esteem - strenuously working their “charm” with cloying smoothness, or hiding behind feeble-minded “humor” as the case may be. OK - the fact that the woman has stepped out to a bar/club in her finery, does provide irrefutable proof to these medieval Knights in borrowed armor that she would like some attention – and who could blame Sir Lancelot for saddling up on his mighty steed to rush to the aid of a damsel in distress. How does one advertise the fact the lady does NOT need rescuing – not for now?
So weekend after weekend, men & women play the game and come up empty. Only to start all over again with fresh hopes, come Friday night. Dive in, the water’s fine! Meanwhile, where do you put away that pheromone till you actually need it?
Tori
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Posted by Tori Roy at July 23, 2008 11:43 PM
Comments
1. Posted by
Trish
![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.intentblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
on
July 24, 2008 09:03 AM
A whole person does not "need" another person. Only half persons do. A whole person is complete in only their self. A whole person can then enjoy other persons without attachment, generally seeking other whole persons with which to play.
Two half persons make a whole, a couple, two whole persons make a double, which although is still two it is more than a couple. Would you rather couple your money or double it?
~meme for circulation
The next question one might ask is how does one become a whole person?
Perhaps from both knowing and connecting to The Source; rather than intermediaries.
2. Posted by
Richard Thomas ∞Φ
on
July 24, 2008 10:05 AM
To paraphrase Jane Austin:
If a man only wants brainless boobs, "I am not for him."
If a man only wants a Saturday night blow up doll, "He is not for me."
It is hard working being single for both men and women. It is hard work being married, coupled, divorced or transitioning between 'stations'.
The hardest part is just being yourself and being okay with who and where you are, regardless of others' expectations. Once that is mastered, whatever comes, comes - and it's all good. ;p
As they say, if hanging in there gets tough, just tie a knot in the rope and swing! And besides, who wants Prince Charming when an ogre haulin' @ss is much more interesting! LL
3. Posted by
Lady Lotawana
on
July 24, 2008 12:21 PM
Yes being single can be sexy too and its not an issue. As Trish has also commented the person is whole in itself. Most people always remain unsatisfied with love and always looks outside for love. But Love is a thing to give..to share..not to expect. Hence first think one must to is to love him/her self and fill your inner so much of love and happiness that it start pouring outside...then you can love others. If you feel lonely alone...presence of other person canot remove your loneliness...you have know your true self..your source...
and about marriage...also you can be most happy when you follow the above thinking... Few centuries ago it was obvious to follow the religion. Now we realized religion and castes are all man made and the spirituality is separate from religion. May be few centuries from now we may realize even marriage is man made and as one come alone from mothers womb and goes alone hence..though he can love anyone but binding his or her soul in legal thing is not needed...
In a nutshell.. If you love you dont need to marry..and if you dont love then you should not marry !
We are at crossroad with a bright-big village
The complexity and the beauty of the land are having an effect never seen before on us
Some of us are already talking about leaving
They say they have found their ending point, they are sure
Already, a strange sensation; the essence-all diluting in something else
So we took the decision to respect-all and have a day and night inside this village "De Los Angeles"
I have heard in the past from my grand-parents, it's a beautiful place where their citizens only needs body-IDs, where kisses doesn't have any sticky-force and love fades like a meteor shower...
5. Posted by
Jean-François Désaulniers
on
July 25, 2008 08:32 AM
Irresistible Secrets of a Woman of Modern Day Society is to bring to life all of the beautiful personalities within her… everything Spiritual and Mystical and Sexual... as a result she will have mastered the art of awakening the Goddess within her.
Paraphrased from Sonia Choquette - Ask Your Angel Guides Oracle Cards
PLEASURE/DIVINE GODDESS
The Divine Goddess smiles upon you, urging you to step into her luscious and beautiful gardens and drink from her well of vitality and joy.
Relax, have fun, and allow the good times to roll. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Whether it's a fun day at the beach or a rousing sexual romp with your lover, the Divine Goddess reminds you that there's nothing holey, superior or righteous in resisting pleasure or hiding your beauty.
She has stepped into your life to remedy the sad fact that you're not taking joy in much of anything of late and have lost touch with your beauty. Life is at risk of becoming too black and white and shades of gray, and you're missing color.
She sweetly advises you not to postpone your rewards until you're in heaven -- instead, she encourages you to enjoy a little heaven on Earth. Indulge your soul in some delicious food, good music, close friends and some playful fun. Use her sparkle to inspire you to embellish your environment. Redecorate, add a splash of color to your beige walls, bring in fresh flowers and make yourself beautiful with some much needed pampering – new clothes, sexy perfume, a new hairstyle – overall, accept yourself as a beautiful human being.
This is a harvest, a time of abundance and flow. Share your beauty with others, be generous and don’t fret about overindulging or getting carried away. Get used to the beautiful life and consider it your birthright to dance in the Divine Goddess’s garden. Her question to you: “How good can you stand it?”
Hugs, Lily
A few minutes just after our first steps in the realm of angeles
Yet, many many desires were fast-flamed
Joy-excitations were expending in all directions
Quickly, we split to give to each one the possibility to realize a satisfaction
I try to catch Arsenio, but he disappeared quickly.
After a minute walking alone on the main streets
Surround by restaurants, pubs, cafe, hotels, lust and beautiful people
Strangely, amazingly
A song started to sing a strong hidden need...
7. Posted by
Jean-François Désaulniers
on
July 25, 2008 11:07 AM
In the evening, right after diner
I was shopping-looking in a nice little street
Many objects, colors and smells
I was enchanté
Everything was rolling smooth and perfect
Until my look started to freeze on a point
The focus was sharp and powerful
But I was in total ignorance of its subject
Bind, bind again inside energy-magnet
I was getting closer, without knowing where I was going
In front of the store, right on my way
Now I was seeing, but I was seeing dilemma negation over negation
.
.
Anti-me was right in front of me
.
.
I started to feel very bad, I was shaking and lighter
Without friction-walking, as fast as light, I merged with my other-self
There, my eyes opened at this nowhere place
She was calling... I know this voice, I know who she is... without knowing how
I turn back to meet my lovely heart-wife...
9. Posted by
Jean-François Désaulniers
on
July 25, 2008 07:26 PM
My right arm in position night-holding
My eyes still closed
With a feeling of renew
There was something breaking waves at my feet
And this tickling on my fingers
Where am I?
With one eye mi-open, there was sand drying on my hand
Further, the beach was awake and calm
I started to move my head from left to right
As final wake up move I look up to probe were I was
Surprisingly, 6 feet from my head
Max was there meditating
An echo of the group-waiting,
Opening his eyes, we were meeting for the first time
"How long have you been here?"
Without answer-words, shaking hands and sands-laughing
We were on our way back on track
He was radar-looking at me sometimes
"Don't be sad Jean"
"She's fine"...
10. Posted by
Jean-François Désaulniers
on
July 26, 2008 10:26 AM
Paraphrased from Sonia Choquette - Ask Your Angel Guides Oracle Cards
Pleasure/Divine Goddess
The Divine Goddess smiles upon you, urging you to step into her luscious and beautiful gardens and drink from her well of vitality and joy.
Relax, have fun, and allow the good times to roll. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Whether it's a fun day at the beach or a rousing sexual romp with your lover, the Divine Goddess reminds you that there's nothing holey, superior or righteous in resisting pleasure or hiding your beauty.
She has stepped into your life to remedy the sad fact that you're not taking joy in much of anything of late and have lost touch with your beauty. Life is at risk of becoming too black and white and shades of gray, and you're missing color.
She sweetly advises you not to postpone your rewards until you're in heaven -- instead, she encourages you to enjoy a little heaven on Earth. Indulge your soul in some delicious food, good music, close friends and some playful fun. Use her sparkle to inspire you to embellish your environment. Redecorate, add a splash of color to your beige walls, bring in fresh flowers and make yourself beautiful with some much needed pampering – new clothes, sexy perfume, a new hairstyle – overall, accept yourself as a beautiful human being.
This is a harvest, a time of abundance and flow. Share your beauty with others, be generous and don’t fret about overindulging or getting carried away. Get used to the beautiful life and consider it your birthright to dance in the Divine Goddess’s garden. Her question to you: “How good can you stand it?”
Paraphrased from Sonia Choquette - Ask Your Angel Guides Oracle Cards
Pleasure/Divine Goddess
The Divine Goddess smiles upon you, urging you to step into her luscious and beautiful gardens and drink from her well of vitality and joy.
Relax, have fun, and allow the good times to roll. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Whether it's a fun day at the beach or a rousing sexual romp with your lover, the Divine Goddess reminds you that there's nothing holey, superior or righteous in resisting pleasure or hiding your beauty.
She has stepped into your life to remedy the sad fact that you're not taking joy in much of anything of late and have lost touch with your beauty. Life is at risk of becoming too black and white and shades of gray, and you're missing color.
She sweetly advises you not to postpone your rewards until you're in heaven -- instead, she encourages you to enjoy a little heaven on Earth. Indulge your soul in some delicious food, good music, close friends and some playful fun. Use her sparkle to inspire you to embellish your environment. Redecorate, add a splash of color to your beige walls, bring in fresh flowers and make yourself beautiful with some much needed pampering – new clothes, sexy perfume, a new hairstyle – overall, accept yourself as a beautiful human being.
This is a harvest, a time of abundance and flow. Share your beauty with others, be generous and don’t fret about overindulging or getting carried away. Get used to the beautiful life and consider it your birthright to dance in the Divine Goddess’s garden. Her question to you: “How good can you stand it?”
# 6, #11 & #12 :)
perfect. thanks Lily :)
sharon
13. Posted by
MississippiHippie
on
July 27, 2008 10:12 AM
Hi Everyone
Thank you all so much for reading and sharing.
Thanks Lily for that bit of upliftment. Jean-Francoise, I am touched. Empyrius - thanks for sharing Aerosmith - love Richard Tyler - he and I share the same lips! Lady L, IndiaVed, Richard, you are all so kind. Trish, that was very validating. Thanks.
Tori
14. Posted by
toriare
on
July 27, 2008 06:14 PM
# 6 Lily S:
I love your Goddess post. Shawna Carol is a singer/songwriter of Goddess chants:
"I am the Goddess
I am the Mother
All acts of love and pleasure
Are my ritual
Pleasure sacred
Sacred pleasure"
If Goddess energy is sacred pleasure it's quite obvious what the missing link is in our world.
More Goddess energy less war and violence. More Goddess energy less starvation. More Goddess energy less stress. More Goddess energy less sadness and depression.
Goddess is the missing link. Too much of anything tips an object off balance. Goddess simply wants to play her part...not dominate or control. That is not her nature as She is inclusive and sees the whole.
Listen and watch the signs. Inject sacred pleasure of Goddess. What do those stories sound like, look like?
More Goddess for me is planting more wildflowers and trees...everywhere. A greening of this realm which will reflect Her green heart vibrating within.
Trish~~
15. Posted by
Trish
on
July 30, 2008 06:52 AM
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Recent Comments
-
Trish commented on Sex & The City
# 6 Lily S:
I love your Goddess post. Sh -
toriare commented on Sex & The City
Hi Everyone
Thank you all so much for r
-
MississippiHippie commented on Sex & The City
# 6, #11 & #12 :)
perfect. thanks Lily
-
Lily S. commented on Sex & The City
Paraphrased from Sonia Choquette - Ask Your Ang
-
Lily S. commented on Sex & The City
Paraphrased from Sonia Choquette - Ask Your Ang
Tori,
As an older woman who feels younger and hotter (more than lower chakras) than she did at 25 I have some experience with a "range" of sexual-sensual expression.
We all have a story:
Childhood pattern: Get a boyfriend...get a boyfriend. Life revolves around a boyfriend.
Teenage pattern: Fall in lust with high school sweetheart thinking it's love. Love at 18 is not mature.
Adult pattern: Attract men who are unavailable emotionally and who treat women like sex objects (men who were abused as children). Opportunity after opportunity for me to learn lessons about personal identity.
Elder pattern: Relate with inner male and female experiencing new passion/fire inside out. This energetic emission attracts and detracts through Life's moment by moment dance.
Sexual-sensuality is the spark that drives us at our core, our Soul. It includes creative juice from one's whole body. It includes the emission of Love higher and brighter in vibration than Sex in the City.
Trish~~