true love and disappointment are on separate tracks. love is. disappointment, or lack thereof, has nothing to do with it.

love, h

What are you calling "true love"?

The disappointment is a projection. Disappointment means some expectations were not met. The disappointment means you expected something from the beloved. You wanted the beloved to be perfect in some way, and they were not. You wanted the beloved to fulfill some emotional yearning for you, and they did not. You wanted them to fulfill some kind of bargain, and they did not.

We all project things out onto others we say we love. Our love contains an idealization: this person is 'the One' for us.

What if someone projects onto you that you are"The One"? What if they want you to fulfill their emotional needs? What if they want you to do something for them?

Is that realistic? Can you fulfill someone else's emotional desires? Can you be the Perfect One for them?

Of course not. But that is what we project onto the beloved.

Then when they can't be the Perfect One, we say "you disappointed me."

But the disappointment is coming from inside the person doing all the projecting onto the beloved.

We would do far better to meditate on the emptiness, meditate on the yearning, than to try to stuff that emptiness with relationships.

You can throw as many lovers as you want into that hole, and at the end of all the torrid relationships, divorces, and ugly fights, you will still be gnawed at by that emptiness.

There is no amount of lovers you can sacrifice to it and be fulfilled.

We are the ones that have to go to the source and find what lies beneath our inner emptiness.

And until we have done that and found the source of happiness inside our own hearts, until that day, every beloved you project that need onto will disappoint you.

Sure you can blame it on the other.

Just don't expect any healing to come from that.

You are looking into the mirror provided by the other, and you see a vast, deep, empty hole.

That vast inner emptiness is inside you.

What you seek is at the bottom of it.

Meditation is the way to dive deep enough to penetrate it.

hi there Burcin,
true love is
Free
:)
~ Kate

If you are into spirituality, this might help to answer some of your questions regarding love, hope, expectations and disappointment:

“HOPE IS CRUEL” by Dr. Flint Sparks

From the Spring 2007 edition of “Just This,” the journal of the Austin Zen Center.

http://www.flintsparks.com/fs/hopeiscruel.htm

Cheers

****

Yogi-one #2:

"You are looking into the mirror provided by the other, and you see a vast, deep, empty hole.

That vast inner emptiness is inside you.

What you seek is at the bottom of it.

Meditation is the way to dive deep enough to penetrate it."

A quote from Spark's essay:

"...As I've reflected on this shift and the disorientation that's followed, I reread some of Jack Kornfield's book, A Path with Heart. Reading as a beginner, yet again, I ran across the following statement and was stunned to see myself reflected in the words: "After we abandon our spiritual identity the meditation leads us through a total dissolution of self, through the dark night like death itself. To enter this consciously challenges all we know of our identity, yet it is the path to freedom.

The loss I've experienced in this dissolution is deeper than disappointment. No one can really prepare us for this. This place is not depression, because it's not simply psychological or merely a triggering of conditioning. It's not that conditioning isn't triggered, or that psychological content doesn't move, but the Great Doubt, the Dark Night isn't fundamentally psychological. This shift isn't about being frustrated or disappointed that things aren't going your way. This is about a core resistance to meeting life as it is."

Yes, true love is free from disappointments.
It is free, like Kate and Heath say.

True love is something we cannot possess or seek, because we are it already.

"True love is the path that walks itself" ~ Dick Schreinders

Give me that false idol, yogi-one. Why?

Because it belongs at the bottom of the barrel.

God & H2O can always be found away down there.

And the lowest common denominator amongst us is love.

.

The Golden Calf is unable to comfort,

but it will never trespass against you.

Surely Love can be uniquely progressive for each of us, and disappointment, a part of that.
Never is there not Love, I'd say. Its Earthly flowering lies hidden in its seed. Some fall on stony ground. Should we be disappointed with Love or with each Earthly other?

Burcin:

What a great question. I am light and I am ego.

Ego knows disapointment and thus teaches me about light. Disapointment seems to happen when I get emotionally attached to someone. In my elder years I'm still learning about romantic attachment.

I'm now consciously working on changing my colors of orientation so that I will be receptive to romance that is not charged with red and orange of adolescence. Oh, how I love those firework displays. But I want more in a relationship.

Friendship doesn't disappoint. Friendship is honest and open. Friendship is spending time together and having fun. Friendship doesn't create tension. Friendship is true love.

How romance weaves into a friendship base is something I have yet to experience. How romance evolves from friendship is a mystery to me. My life patterning has been to go for the red colors of romantic "love" first. I'm changing that pattern.

Friendship is a rare commodity but once invested in can reap golden rewards. I met two men this weekend who held colors of friendship. I may be on a new track of attraction. Attraction that holds less disappointment and more light.

Trish~~

Real love is to love without fear, without conditions..

Dissapointment is a toxic emotion caused by fear.. Since you will have gone to great lengths to rid your world of fear then you will not feel dissapointment.

Real Understanding brings about true love. The realisation of God at work everywhere destroys fear and leaves only real love.

Love

Simon xx

Never..because it would not be true otherwise.

I meant the opposite.oops..true love is free of disappointment which is why its true.

I meant the opposite.oops..true love is free of disappointment which is why its true.

Couldn't we just have friends with benefits?

Is there a differentiation between "true love" and "love"? When is love 'true' as opposed to just plain loving?

I think that to believe you can love and never be disappointed is a fallacy. Humans simply aren't built that way. I think the best you can do is realize that we are all roses in the garden: lovely to look at, heavenly to smell, velvety to the touch - yet always w/ the occasional thorn that will stab, intentionally or not.

To love means to accept the wound and carry on w/ loving. Understand the foibles, faults and foolishness of the
one(s) who hurt you if you can but continue to accept yourself and them despite the pain. Practice having what Jack Kornfield names "a tolerant heart" w/ yourself and everybody else, love interest or person-on-the-street (not to mention the campaign trail).

Sometimes the most loving thing to do is let someone travel their own path away from you. Life is filled w/ disappointments but I think you have to realize these are also signposts for growth as much as they feel like black holes in the soul. The greatest disappointments usually are the ones that open the way to the greatest opportunities for acceptance and love.

To my mind, to love w/out occasional disappointment isn't loving at all - it's truly indifference. To 'truly' love is to keep loving despite it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwOEe0yy9SA
Barbra Streisand

Love, soft as an easy chair.
Love, fresh as the morning air.

One, love that is shared by two
I have found with you.

Like a rose under the April snow
I was always certain
love would grow.

Love, ageless and evergreen
seldom seen by two.

You and I
will make each night a first
every day a beginning.

Spirits rise and their dance
is unrehearsed.

They warm and excite us
cause we have the brightest love.

Two lights that shine as one
morning glory
and the midnight sun.

Time we've leaned to sail above,
Time won't change the meaning of

one love
ageless and ever, evergreen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34bihhzYotU&feature=related

Hi Kate....

I love you
You love me..
We're a happy fam-i-ly..
With a great big hug,
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say
you love me too!!

You'd be amazed at how much I actually resemble that damned purple dinosaur!

:)

Do you know if it's true
That real love lasts a lifetime
Does it shine like the stars up in the sky
And do you know if you can fall for
Just a moment
Is a moment for all time
Why, why am I so unsure
Is that love knocking at my door
Or the sound of my beating heart
If you could read my mind
You know I just can't hide
What I feel inside

Oh, tell me could this be love?

---

Tonight, I am hearing voices trapped in the wind
Sometimes I think my window is talking from outside in
The birds are sleeping but not the stars

Suddenly, my mental turned clear-black
No fears, Yes calm, no opacity, yes fresh-expansion
Sit inside watching the black-blue by eye-belly-button

"... How could it be be-love?"
"How could it be?"...

I was reading over there on Divine.me and it speaks of divine love and ego love. Ego love is more like desire, and often the ego is in love with an image in the mind; not with that which is really there and this is why the ego I guess would be disappointed.

With divine love it says that there is only one source, and one can choose to be a channel for it and it is equal for all and has no measure and does not discriminate.

It speaks of the feeling of love being resonant vibration. Where hate and violence is a dissonant vibration.

Click my name links to the divine.

I had a brilliant insight this morning about what emotions are like and how to describe them in a physical sense.

Imagine a meadow that has been freshly cut and left to dry these are our thoughts. Each blade of cut grass is a thought of some kind..

Then a harvester comes along and it sucks the thoughts deep into its innards and compresses the thoughts into a Hay bail.. The Hay bail is the emotion.

As long as the grass keeps coming there will be bails of hay coming also.

Love

Simon xx

What are you looking so baleful about, Simon ;)

For me emotions are like the thrusters on a spacecraft. You choose the course and they, part of the program, make sure you stay on it. You can always change your mind. It's ever in flux.

Course, you'll say you don't need to go anywhere anyway....others will soon thrust you there, though. Such is the complicity.

Norm,
you are poetic
;)

p.s.
isn't Clearwater a nice area? I wish I knew your MIL, fact is - it would be great to meet you, one day...
and I will take you & your family to a beautiful park, with the most amazing wildlife lookout tower!

Trust me...LIFE & LOVE....are both full of dissappointments! I really know.

Spare me Riversylph

Sorry Linda.

Love you always.

Always

True love! Its so difficult to bare your soul to another but when you do, does your love understand her? There is no need to converse nor evaluate. In dead silence, everything around simply vanishes, while the two souls simply feel each other. Can silence speak volumes? This materialistic world has made everything go topsy turvy. Loving another does not mean emptiness in himself. Loving another does not mean compensating what's lacking in you. Love means simply loving..and that could be forever. What happens when someone gives you a loving hug? What happens when a loving hand pats you? What happens when tender, caring eyes convey that everything is ok? Stop looking beyond and experience it, brave it, the rest will follow. Ask yourself, is it so difficult to give? Then there's no scope disappointment. Love another just as you would yourself.

true love..that is a very big term.sumtimes,we ask whether there is any such thing as"truelove" and sumtimes there are a thousand reasons to believe...but no love can comewithout disappointments.in fact we find love only after getting over the disappointments,however small or however big...

true love..that is a very big term.sumtimes,we ask whether there is any such thing as"truelove" and sumtimes there are a thousand reasons to believe...but no love can comewithout disappointments.in fact we find love only after getting over the disappointments,however small or however big...

true love..that is a very big term.sumtimes,we ask whether there is any such thing as"truelove" and sumtimes there are a thousand reasons to believe...but no love can comewithout disappointments.in fact we find love only after getting over the disappointments,however small or however big...

Love is a simple yet complicated process. For average people it means so much at the surface level that it really leads to disappointments. This is very natural as we all cannot be born saints to realize it in a real way.It is because of the passions and expectations we attach to it. For some, those disappointments on the path lead to the greater love. Essentially the "true love" that we often talk about lies within all of us. We go outward and see our own reflection in the other person/situation/goal to realize it. We try and find it outwards but it never satisfies what is inside of us, a craving for perfection, that we already are but we don't know of. True love lies in the process and not the destination. For all beginners in the path of love, towards seeking true love, there would be disappointments all over that would lead you to the truth sooner or later. If that is something you want and intent of question comes from within, one day you reach and then purify all aspects of it in the new light of love.

Love is like a rainbow after the rain,
love is the butterfly that lights on your shoulder,
Love is the perfume, the scent that lingers,
Love is the light after the storm,
Love envelops one wholly,
Love never disappoints!

When you dont expect anything, you never get disappointed and when you are in true love...there are no expectations...