Johannes Julies, the gardener, and I, worked through the morning carrying individually packed tools, dragging out heavy machinery, and reaching to clear out the highest shelves till finally at 12 noon, sweating and relieved, it was done…. the garage was clear, ready to be washed and scrubbed.

Taking a tissue from the pocket of my shorts, I wiped some of the dirt from my hands, and heard my cell phone ringing where I’d left it in the hall way of the house, one ring, two rings, three. I raced to get it.

It was my brother Warwick. He and his wife lived in Pietermaritzburg, my old home town. They’d been married now for 25 years, and still held hands! Whenever I was in their company I marvelled at the special bond they shared: a closeness; and somehow in Gill’s presence I always felt loved. Her face would light up as she greeted you, and you’d be given her full attention.

“Hullo, Warwick?” The line wasn’t too clear. It crackled.

“Gill’s dead, Bobby, knifed to death.” My mind couldn’t grasp it. Maybe I hadn’t heard right.

“Oh no,” I gasped, “She can’t be dead.” …… my heart thumped, my body began to shake and the sobs welled up in my throat.

“I’m standing here with her, in our garage. She’s dead, somebody’s killed her.” Warwick’s voiced trailed off into a sob, and the line went dead.

“NO! I screamed…. NO! NO!” Tears streamed down my face. My heart felt wrenched. Broken, for my brother. For his pain. What is he going to do without Gill, our kind and caring Gill? I phoned my brother back. “I’m coming up to be with you, Warwick.”

“Can you get here soon?”

“Yes, I’ll be there with you tomorrow.” I put down the receiver, and went upstairs to sit at my desk. I felt the shock, and the enormity of what had just happened. Gill had been murdered. I reached for the landline and dialed The Witness newspaper to report Gill’s tragic death. “Please put me through to the news section.”

“Hullo, John Conyngham speaking” I couldn’t believe it. I’d been put straight through to the Editor-in Chief and, in retrospect, what followed was a synchronicity of events that would ultimately lead to a movement with the potential to help raise the consciousness of our nation.

After explaining Gill’s murder, I said, “We should strive for peace and kindness, instead of fighting against violence.” These words of mine were quoted in the next morning’s newspaper, and then subsequently used in The Witness editorial. The next few hours were a flurry in preparation to get to my brother as soon as possible: organizing the soonest flight to Durban; making arrangements to get from there to Pietermaritzburg; completing my task in the garage, ….and in the middle of all that I sat down at my computer, and wrote this email to John Conyngham at The Witness (it was 4.40 p.m. and four and a half hours after hearing about Gill’s death):

“I am saddened and appalled at the tragic killing of my sister-in-law, as it is so needless. Our society must be called to recognize the need for us ALL to promote and work towards PEACE in every avenue of our lives. We should be the peace we wish to see in the world.

I speak about promoting and being aware of PEACE as opposed to fighting against violence, or fighting against anything. Anger creates anger. Peace and kindness creates just that – peace and kindness.”

That evening Warwick and I spoke over the phone. He was devastated. Grief stricken. Angry. Hundreds of friends and colleagues rallied to his home, giving comfort and support, and they too were angry. This was understandable. Gill had touched the lives of so many people with her compassion and care; and she was truly loved. Now her life had been snatched away so violently, so senselessly, in what should have been the safety of her own home. Warwick spoke of what he and his friends, in their collective state of anger, were planning to do: and there was talk of boycotts and anti-crime rallies. I listened, and heard his pain.

“What time can you be here tomorrow, Bobby?” Warwick asked.

“I’m catching a plane from George, landing in Durban and will have someone ready and waiting with a car for me to drive straight through to Pietermaritzburg. I’ll be at your house at 4 o’clock.” There was silence before he hung up. We were connected in grief.

I sat for a while thinking. It’s great that people want to stand up and DO something about the crime and violence. It’s commendable. But fighting against crime and violence, or fighting against anything creates more anger and more of what we don’t want. History proves that. We must first transcend the anger, not deny it, but rise about it. Then in that peaceful space, look to see what it is that we really want. And focus our attention on that very thing that we WANT. If it’s peace and kindness we want, then let’s find ways, right now, to be peaceful and kind. Let’s put kindness into action! Let’s fill our hearts with peace!

I thought about Gill. Why was it that whenever I was with her, I felt loved? She was compassionate, understanding and calm; nothing was ever too much trouble for her, and she gave from her heart. Gill seemed to see the beauty in everything and worked tirelessly for the underprivileged, seeking to empower and help others. I realized then, that Gill’s qualities are what we need in our lives to create peace! She was the epitome of peace!

The next day I caught the plane to Durban, the car was ready and waiting for me and I headed up to my brother’s house in Scottsville, Pietermaritzburg. There were cars all the way up Warwick’s driveway, and people everywhere. That was how it was every day of that week leading up to the funeral. Warwick and Gill, as President and Secretary, respectively, of the KZN Midlands Squash Union, had been the backbone of the largest per capita squash fraternity in the country. Gill had always gone beyond her call of duty as secretary, and her services to squash had been honored many times. She was loved, and now sorely missed: and the grief and the anger was immense. That day, 27 October, another well-known Pietermaritzburg man, Thulas Mngomezulu, Director of Heritage in the KZN provincial government, was also stabbed to death, in the Pietermaritzburg city centre. He too was a peace-loving man who dedicated his life to the service of others.

There were letters to the press urging for government action, and people rallied in support. The squash players united in wanting to ‘squash out crime’. Anger was fomenting, about to explode. It was now clear that people needed a message of hope.

That evening, during a rare quiet moment, I spoke with Warwick about Gill’s exceptional qualities, and why people loved and admired her. How would she want people, at this very moment, to react? What does anger do? He came to see that one could be a better person by transcending anger. That was how Gill lived her life, empowering others to better themselves. We spoke about working towards peaceful solutions as opposed to “fighting” against things: and we both knew that this is exactly what Gill would have wanted. Warwick was able to transcend his anger, and in those days leading up to the funeral, many followed his example.

Prof Vic Bredenkamp, who knew Gill well, was to conduct the funeral service being held at Epworth Sports Centre and asked if he could use my words quoted in the newspaper as a theme for the eulogy at Gill’s funeral. “We must strive for peace and kindness, as opposed to fighting against violence.” All anger and bitterness was transcended, as love and peace flowed through those many moving and beautiful moments in bidding farewell to a gem of a woman who’d left an indelible imprint of love in so many people’s lives.

On November, I held a Peace Initiative meeting in Pietermaritzburg, together with members of the squash fraternity. People were ready to hear and be a part of the solution in ending crime and violence, and there was large-scale support and a plea for further action.

I am passionate in my belief, that we in South Africa, can become a beacon of light as we work TOGETHER, striving towards the peace and harmony necessary for economic and spiritual growth within our country. Thus the uBuntu Peace Project has been formed to raise the level of consciousness throughout the nation and work with government in addressing the root cause of crime and violence. Each of us has the power and responsibility to create peace through our thoughts and beliefs, and in keeping our focus on what we want – PEACE.

We CAN do it, and the uBuntu Peace Project will mobilize people to do just that.

The uBuntu Peace Project is dedicated to Gill Weedon and Thulas Mngomezulu in memory of their compassion and kindness. I know that they would want us to work side by side, in unity with each other – discovering that peace is the only way. Bobby Hackland-Morris is the Founder, uBuntu Peace Project. You can visit the website at www.ubuntupeaceproject.com

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