IntentBlog

Fathering outside the Norm

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 08:30:56 -0800

What are you doing today to and for all the good dads who challenge the norms at work, at home, and in society-at-large about what it means to be a good father and what it means to create (sometimes out of whole cloth) time to fully and truly nurture children? There are a lot of men out here acting every day in ways that are simultaneously ordinary and extraordinary—ordinary because they are actions every good parent takes; extraordinary because the picture of a father fully involved and engaged in daily child-rearing is still so far outside our conception of “normal.”

Live-With and Live-Away Parents Working Together

Mon, 05 May 2008 07:10:43 -0800

Is it possible for separated parents to BOTH have good relationships with their children—and support each other in that effort? I know the answer is yes for some fortunate parents and kids—and believe the answer should be yes for all such families.
Toward that end, I’m developing guidance for parents of minor children who are separated from each other for one reason or another (divorce, end of relationship, long-term out-of-town deployment for work, etc.) I need your help.

Weight Loss Doesn't Equal Health

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:16:19 -0800

"The debate over whether the health risks of obesity are exaggerated seriously detracts from the real question: what should we prescribe for our health in any case? Weight loss or management is constantly recommended—disregarding the fact that weight is not a behavior, and as such it is not ours to “control.”"

Tips for Dads and Daughters Watching the Super Bowl Together

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 06:35:56 -0800

Dads & Daughters watching TV sports together—one of life’s pleasures. But what about those
moments (like during some commercials) when you want to cover her eyes with your hands?
Here are a few simple tips I developed for the national nonprofit Dads & Daughters to help fathers and
stepfathers have more fun watching the Super Bowl (and other TV sporting events) together with their daughters.

Achieve “house rules” harmony

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 07:24:31 -0800

Dads (and moms) are often frustrated by the “discipline” issue. Instead of clashing about problematic behavior, try these tips for creating respectful guidelines for house harmony.

Play Ball! Ten Playoff/World Series Tips for Fathers of Girls

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 10:02:30 -0800

Major League Baseball playoffs start soon, followed by the World Series. This is an exciting time for dads to watch or listen to our national pastime with their children and stepchildren.

Pasing Down Your Name

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:35:22 -0800

When our twin girls were pre-schoolers, they became best friends with a girl down the alley. Krista had great parents, and a priceless little brother named Jeris. For the next year or so, I was filled with a sometimes painful longing to have a son.

When is your daughter old enough to date?

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 09:43:19 -0800

Want to get fathers of daughters quickly engaged in a passionate conversation? Just ask them, “When is your daughter old enough to date?”

There’s always someone who answers “30,” and only half jokingly. But after that, the dads will be off to the races, arguing over what constitutes dating these days, with most insisting that for a boy, dating has only one purpose--sex.

You’re Dyeing Your Hair Orange?

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 05:29:55 -0800

Perhaps every father should be issued a football mouth guard when his daughter is born, since he’s liable to spend the next few decades biting his tongue.

What Have They Got Against Girls' Sports?

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 04:51:53 -0800

A dad named John Humphreys recently wrote to me upon learning that the Department of Education is weakening Title IX, the federal civil rights law granting fair access to sports for girls and women. He asked “Why ever should there be any darn sex discrimination at all?” Like John, I’m stumped, too. But the fact of the matter is that discrimination still exists—which means we parents and others who care about girls need to do something about it.

How DO Boys Become Doofus Daddys?

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:37:41 -0800

With some regularity, I read opinion pieces bemoaning the fact that popular culture and media regularly portray Dad as Doofus (if that's the correct spelling....I'm a spelling Doofus). Of course, every parent has moments when she or he feels like an idiot and our kids usually feel free to tell us when we’re acting like one).

You are a father. It looks like such a simple sentence.

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 07:15:36 -0800

You are a father. It looks like such a simple sentence. But your new role is actually profound; one you are a father, you can never be “not-a-father” anymore. By becoming a father, you’ve embarked on an amazing and fulfilling journey, powerful from the moment of birth.

Can a parent make unforgivable mistakes?

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 09:17:15 -0800

To my imperfect understanding of the universe, this question seems impossible to answer with certainty. But I think exploring effective responses to our mistakes—rigorous honesty, complete amends, and ongoing recommitment—is worthwhile no matter where we are in our parenting.

Sam's New Dad (aka Tiger Woods)

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 15:17:56 -0800

“My parents always told me they loved me every night, every time we said goodbye. That was just something that I was never afraid to go out there and push myself to the limit. And if I failed, so what?

What do You Tell a Pregnant Dad?

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 08:08:33 -0800

Have you ever met a man who is about to become a father for the first time? To an experienced father, such a man looks a bit like an alien—or at least someone who doesn’t yet fully grasp what it means to irrevocably cross over from not being a father to the “other side” of fatherhood.
Here’s what I might say: